Kate (mskatej) wrote,

  • Mood:

Learn how to insult good.

Hamish is watching Full Metal Jacket while I sit at the puter drinking beer and fucking about, but I did listen to the first scene, which is a tour de force in how to be the meanest motherfucker on the planet. Are you guys mean? No? Well here is how you do it. A few choice lines and some commentary:

You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit!

Grabasstic is my new favourite word. It's a mixture of Grab, Ass and Fantastic. *applauds*

There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless!

There is something kinda beautiful about that, dontcha think?

Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?

Dude. Slimy, a communist and a gay dancer to boot! It’s like the worst thing you can possibly be unless you’re a slimy gay dancing *nazi*!

I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.

I don’t even get that but it’s awesome.

Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

Hee. I wouldn’t go *near* his sister if I were you, private. She’s bound to be scary and masculine.

You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!

HAHAHA. Okay then! My favourite bit about that is the unfucking yourself bit. How does one even *do* that?

Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh? (COWBOY Sir, no, sir.) Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!

*dies* It doesn’t get much meaner than THAT. Oh dear god this guy should give lessons.

Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks?

The gay jokes are out!

And my all time favourite EVER:

I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE IT’S TRUE. Reach-arounds are necessary in life.

I’m kind of drunk, fyi.
Tags: film, stupid
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.