that's it. that's the review.
Obviously that last scene was the most spectacularly erotic thing the show has ever done for us but I'll save talking about that for the very end because SO MUCH happened and so much of it was good and interesting and intense, and it was wonderfully shippy for everyone who ships, there was something in there for us all, and Harvey looked absolutely gorgeous, and there was Harvey and Mike breaking up, and Mike loves Harvey, and there was exceptionally hot Mike/Rachel porn (jesus christ I'm so turned on right now I might have to take a fap break before I can concentrate on this damn review just kidding) argghghhhh this show this show I love it so much I can't breathe. oh and as a special treat today's review will include crappy screencaps that i am going to make, for emphasis.
so anyway, before I settled in to watch I told both my flatmates that under no circumstances were they to disturb me for the next hour because I was going to watch the suits finale and I dunno maybe Kirsty thought I was kidding or something because five minutes into the episode she banged on my door wanting something urgently and i was all, "oh COME ON" like really fucking annoyed and I think she was a bit taken aback. But seriously. WHEN I SAY DON'T FUCKING BOTHER ME THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Leave me alone with my show OR DIE.
Charlie is being super irritating and scratching my carpet for attention I might have to boot him out of my room so I can do this thing. GET OUT, MONSTER!
The first scene made me really tense because it foreshadowed a rift between Harvey and Mike that I've been dreading since they became my reason for living (you don't understand though dudes, Clark/Lex was my otp for many, many years and that ship is DEFINED by The Rift and one of the things I love about H/M and that sets them apart is that they are happy together and needn't ever be apart) and I spent much of the episode worrying about how it was going to go down. And of course, this is only the start of it - they'll get back together pretty quickly I'm sure but when Harvey finds out Mike told Rachel their secret he is going to flip his shit you guys! We have a few months to fix all their issues with hot porn though, so silver lining
I'm getting ahead of myself
Boys in tuxes and Jessica telling Harvey that she wouldn't need a roofie to get him to bone her. LOL. Now, I feel like that is less 'inappropriate flirtation', and more "remember all those times you willingly gave it up for mama?" Which is also inappropriate but just ten times more awesome. I'll get into the amazing and crazy D/s dynamics going on between these two later but first, here's a screencap of Harvey's reaction, and if those big brown eyes aren't saying 'I've been a naughty boy' then I'm not extremely horny right now (I am btw)
And then Harvey says his date just got here and the next shot is of Mike arriving and he's also the person Harvey talks to next THEY ARE MAKING IT TOO EASY FOR US.
I loved that Rachel told Harvey he looked nice (*flail*) and then I was appalled by Harvey's response ("Thank you. So do I." I mean really, script writers, what the hell) but at least it led to some cute banter between the boys, wiht Harvey being all "you're supposed to be on my side" and Mike being like, "I've got your back" and then when he makes his excuses to leave, Harvey says, "Where are you going?" because he needs to know where his date is at all times and it's really very sweet how much Harvey loves Mike
Louis's mud-off with Nigel Alexander Nesbitt was cute and that storyline played out ALMOST the way I hoped it would in that they eventually connected and become friends in a warm and touching scene, but I was disappointed that Louis screwed Nigel over in the end, because that could have been a beautiful friendship, and Nigel was so vulnerable and sincere I couldn't help but love him (although I did orginally think he'd be the one to do the betraying, but now that I know he wasn't I feel terribly sad about how hurt he is going to be by Louis's)
Okay straight up LOVED Donna in this episode. YAY. I adored the way she reassured Louis that Nigel hadn't violated her cubicle, and then her expression when Louis admitted that Nigel was higher up on the mud chain lol:
Edward Darby is waiting outside Harvey's office because it wouldn't be proper to go in without being announced by his secretary and Donna's not around. Mike is flabbergasted. "What year is it?" I always love it when Harvey calls for Mike. "Mike? What's going on out there?" lolol they are so adorable. Mike is a Downton Abbey fangirl, which I have a strong feeling was Patrick's idea because he fucking loves that stupid show, and Harvey has no idea what it even is. ♥
I'm not going to talk about Darby and Harvey's war because I don't really understand it or care that much about the details, I just like that Harvey is in over his head, that it causes conflict within all the primary relationships, and that Harvey finally loses. My poor defeated woobie let me cuddle you poor baby god you're sexy when you're beaten
Louis can't bear to tell Rachel the truth because he adores her so much. :'|
And then Mike spoils Darby (who "abhors spoilers") for episode 3 of Downton then turns to Harvey, sees his face and apologises for being such a ginormous dork.
The awesome song Harvey is listening to when he's brooding in his office when Louis comes in to tell him he's scared is called Short Change Hero, by The Heavy. Let's just admire Harvey's unicorn beauty and peerless style for a quick moment:
HARVEY GOES TO MIKE'S HOUSE UNINVITED. Apparently he intercepted Mike's Chinese food and sent him away because "MSG?! It's terrible for you. Plus, I ate it." Never stop being you, show.
Harvey wants to break the Chinese wall (whatever that means, I'm so lost on all the legal stuff) which is illegal and unethical but he'd rather cross his own line than sign on their dotted one. I'm not sure how I feel about this dark path of Harvey's (who am I kidding i fucking love it), but I do like that Mike is willing to go along with it because it's Harvey and he'll do whatever Harvey wants him to do
Mike says, "It looks like I have a date with your girlfriend in the morning" because Harvey wants him to deal with Scottie so he doesn't have to, but really all that line did was give me threesome ideas.
Lol Jessica has the horn for Jimmy Smits. I can dig it. They should get him on the show.
Mike tries to fist bump and fails.
Oh man, Scottie broke my heart in this episode. I wasn't actually expecting to find out that she's in love with Harvey but of course she is, I love that she is, it makes sense that she is, and his fury at her and how helpless she feels in the face of it, and how completely broken they both are...ugggggh. In many ways I think Harvey and Scottie would be wonderful together because they challenge each other and there'd never be a dull moment, and I have no doubt that Harvey loves her too, but then...he can't forgive her for what she did. And I get that. But god SCOTTIE. She's completely in love with him and probably has been for all these years but because of the way Harvey is she's never been able to tell him, although she was just about to before Jessica walked in on them and told her to get out, and this is her face of pain and heartache and beauty:
I can't believe how much I care about her even though she's only been in 3 episodes. She's such a significant part of Harvey's life, and Abigail is such a wonderful actress, I really hope we see her again. And then she goes to Donna, she confesses to Donna what she couldn't say to Harvey because she needs to tell SOMEONE and who better that Harvey's Girl Friday, because Donna will understand and Donna will do the right thing and tell Harvey to get his shit together. I was jumping for joy also when Donna responded to Scottie asking if she's in love wtih Harvey:
"I'm so fricken tired of people asking me that and it is none of your business. But no."
Keep it up, show.
Scottie came back to NY for Harvey. "I don't know how to get his attention unless I sue him"
Donna: You're in love with him.
Scottie: He's just os angry with me and I don't know how to make him belive it
excuse me i've got something in my eye
I wasn't remotely invested in Harvey/Zoe, not compared to these two holy crap, who just CRUSHED me with their repressed longing and inability to communicate and electric chemistry. But then:
"She made me make a fool out of him. A man I never met. A man who'd never done a wrong to me. How am I gonna trust someone who made me a man who did that?"
oh HARVEY. Maybe you need to let that go, baby, because she did that because she LOVES YOU, YOU FOOL. She loves you and she didn't love him and that's sometimes how it goes. that's life. But Harvey has his principles and it makes sense that he can't get past that (although he'll still fuck her in a plane)
Scottie meets up with Mike (they finally had that date!) and she calls him "Baby Harvey" which Mike says is a huge compliment ... ... ... for Harvey. (but we know he means it the other way too) There's no flirting between them because she's Harvey's girl and Mike is loyal like a basset hound, but they're connected strongly to one another by their love for Harvey (like Harvey and Rachel are by their love for Mike) so I really enjoyed this scene (and I still want a threesome). MAKE IT HAPPEN, SUITS FANDOM. And it's UNBEARABLY CUTE when Scottie tells him he'd like Harvey's brother because Harvey's brother is like Mike. *DYING* Mike is like Harvey's brother. MIKE IS LIKE HARVEY'S BROTHER. THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS HARVEY LOVES HIM SO MUCH.
Scottie gets fired for trying to help Harvey win his side of the case and when she leaves it's incredibly sad but Harvey tries to get her her job back only he has to decide whether he wants her here or in London *cliffhanger of doom* (pretty sure he'll pick london but i hope he doesn't)
just posting this cap because it's nearly like Mike and Harvey are holding hands:
Harvey: You don't know these people
Jessica: I know they said I couldn't control you. You're gonna learn that I can.
Right from the start Jessica was having none of Harvey's egotistical bullshit and she was on a mission to put him in his place. "I can control him" she tells Darby. It's important to note that Jessica's primary motivation for controlling Harvey is so she can keep him. He's her most valuable asset and there's no way in hell she's letting him go.
She threatens to expose Mike. He comes back with his own threat to take her down with him.
Jessica: I will beat you.
Mike: The last time you said that to me you thought you didn't need a computer. You were wrong. (*FLAIL*)
Jessica: That was about demonstrating knowledge and the stakes were nothing. This is about my power, and the stakes are everything. (aelkjfakjegr)
She's on a crazyass power trip and I FUCKING LOVE IT.
And then...Harvey yells at Mike and they break up. This scene is really difficult for me, I don't have much to say about it because it hurts too much, except that Harvey is clearly heartbroken because he trusted Mike to be on his side and there's no reason on earth that he'll consider acceptable for Mike's betrayal, and then he FIRES Mike. omg. OMFG WHAT. Don't mind me I'm just pulling the knife out of my heart. But Jessica overrules him because... well it seems to me that she values Mike as well now, because she didn't take this opportunity to get rid of him and she could have, but she didn't, which is interesting (and awesome). She wants them both but she needs to be able to control them, which she does with aplomb in this episode, and it makes me think that when Harvey and Mike get back together, somewhere down the line it'll be them against Jessica. Because I can't see either of them really forgiving her (or trusting her again) after the shit she pulled in this episode.
Favourite Jessica outfit:
Mike is devastated about Harvey hating him and goes to hide in the file room.
Harvey accuses Jessica of being afraid of him.
Jessica: Afraid of you? Boy, I just kicked your ass. And you didn't just want it, you begged me for it.
The kinky sexual connotations in all their exchanges, but especially this one...jesus fucking christ. kill me now.
RACHEL AND MIKE
So Mel called it last week that Rachel wouldn't let the Harvard thing drop but I don't think anyone predicted quite how it would play out - it starts with Rachel wanting to know what it felt like when Mike got into Harvard, and then she attempts to enlist his help with the letter of complaint, only Mike can't lie to her, nor can he do any of the things she's asking... an all round brilliantly constructed storyline with the perfect sexy romantic pay off to two seasons worth of foreplay, when she confronts him and demands he tell her the fucking truth once and for all. And Mike is on that verge, he's near breaking point, because he's lost everything he loves: "Trevor, my grandmother, Harvey (*FLAILS* YES PEOPLE HE SAID THAT HE LOVES HARVEY THIS EPISODE IS KILLING ME), now probably this job"
and then he tells her
he tells her and she slaps him.
and then he grabs her and they have the hottest sex I could possibly have imagined I basically had an orgasm while watching it
I kinda saw it coming the moment she locked the door to the room because like PERFECT OPPORTUNITY and god she looks hot in that dress and the emotions were so heightened and they've been repressing their lust for each other since they met and the moment Mike tells her his secret he realizes he can fuck her because that was the one thing standing in the way and he wastes NOT A SECOND OF TIME before grabbing her and kissing her and fucking her. and oh jesus they do it standing up against the shelves, they barely take their clothes off because they just need him inside her, they unzip her dress and pull it down to her waist (and god she's so sexy and gorgeous) and he unzips his fly and takes his cock out, he tugs her panties down her thighs just enough so he can put his dick in her and the sexy moanign and gasping and and they're so fucking horny they don't even THINK about using a condom they do it fucking bareback (9EWOIA;FJOIGAUWG BULLET PROOF KINK OMFGGGGG WQHY DO YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH SHOW) and like, i was worried they'd tease us with the will they won't they bullshit for years more but they PAID UP THEY FCUKING PAID UP and it was absolutely one of the best and hottest and most glorious sex scenes I've ever seen on TV thank you thank you tgank you tha you tahkhoiaeg;ojaeo;b p'
and because pictures speak a thousand words or whatever imma end the post with all the porn
NOW COME TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVED IT