Lots of things happened in "Normandy" that we need to talk about: Rachel not getting into Harvard, Katrina being established as a seriously unlikeable antagonist, the return of Dana Scott, Pearson Hardman possibly merging with Scottie's firm, and, most importantly, Harvey getting laid.
"Vomit bagel? Feces pancake?" WHY HARVEY WHY. And what IS Mike eating? The sheer mean-spirited childishness of Harvey here is so bizarrely appealing I don't know what to do with myself. It's a pure abuse of power: he can ruin Mike's meal, so he will.
Also hearing him say he wants to steal a page from Mike's book and then Mike replies with, "there's no hot mike footage" made me clap like a seal. I'm sorry but it sounds so suggestive. IT JUST DOES. I think we can all agree that the term 'hot mike' will never be the same again.
I probably should have seen Rachel not getting into Harvard coming: narratively speaking it was inevitable. Her confidence in getting in, her refusal to apply anywhere else, the fact that there was no way they were going to write Meghan out of the show... and yet, because I'm not a speculative viewer I took it at face value that she deserved a place and so of course she'd get in. And kudos to the creative team for fooling us - I know I'm not the only one who was surprised by Rachel's bad news. The only problem with the outcome of this story is...I was pleased. Because as much as I wanted to feel bad for Rachel, I'm so happy she's not going anywhere that my relief kind of overwhelmed her heartbreak. Which I guess is the problem with telling a story in which a good result for the character entails the actor leaving the show, because it's basically the opposite result for the viewer. Hmm.
Anyway, Mike flirting with Rachel pleases me: he's an excellent flirt, not afraid to be inappropriate and gifted at objectifying her in a way that she enjoys. I love the pleased smile she gets on her face when he tells her how hot she is. The subtext of Mike's flirting is always, "I want to fuck you" and Rachel loves it. *glee*
Harvey: Do you know how we won World War II?
Mike: Yeah, of course. Spock didn't let Kirk save Joan Collins from getting hit by that car.
Ha! Turns out that Mike is as much of a trekkie as Harvey is. ACTUALLY it's now my head canon that Mike is NOT a trekkie (he certainly wasn't in S1 when he didn't get Harvey's reference) but when he found out that Harvey is he went back and watched every single episode just so they could banter about it together, because he loves Harvey with all his heart. Let it be fanon!! And then Mike asks if he's Spock or Kirk, knowing full well that Harvey is Kirk (so I'm taking that as a shout out to the slash pairing that started it all) and Harvey then calls Mike a woman - because he's attracted to him which of course threatens Harvey's extreme heterosexuality.
Creeped out by Donna fussing over Harvey's appearance in preparation for him seeing Scottie. Creeped out by Donna warning Scottie off and all but telling her not to have sex with Harvey, as if she has a right to, as if Harvey can't take care of himself. Show less of an interest in his sex life, Donna. It is CREEPY.
Goddd Scottie and Harvey together are THRILLING. Gabriel and Abigail have amazing chemistry: I could watch them bickering all day, and I especially love that, beneath all the arguing and subterfuge, is this genuine affection and attraction.
Scottie: You look great. A bit overworked but not bad for a guy your age.
ZING! Harvey's deeply unimpressed expression = favourite.
Scottie was better on paper than Harvey but Jessica hired Harvey instead because she'd already invested so much in him.
So Katrina. Does anyone still like her? Because I sure as hell don't. I was on the fence about her before, but now I actively dislike her: she spends this episode screwing over or talking like shit to our beloved Mike and Rachel, and it was near impossible to see things from her perspective, or respect her methods. Much of what she did was unethical and self serving, so when Mike and Rachel turned the tables on her and she had the audacity to be outraged, I wasn't remotely sympathetic. Even if what Mike did was worse, he can get away with that because he's our protagonist and we're already on his side - for one we're in his POV the entire episode and so we only witness Katrina's behaviour from Mike's (or Rachel's) POV. I don't know how I feel about this development: on the one hand I like that we have a female adversary for Mike to butt heads with, and that also allows for the possibility of a 'from enemies to allies' story arc which is an all time favourite trope; on the other hand - I've said this before and I'll say it again - I prefer my antagonists charming and/or funny and Katrina is neither.
Mike thinks he's going to Bakersfield with Harvey except he's not because Scottie has flown in and taken Mike's place.
Mike: How can you do that to me?
*flails* like. who TALKS like that to their boss?
Harvey: Relax, okay. You're gonna go on another road trip some day.
nnnggh christ these two make me horny.
Which is good because we finally get another Harvey/Scottie sex scene! With the requisite snarky banter as foreplay, and pushing each other around. And because this is such a rare and beautiful thing I'm going to transcribe the entire thing.
S: It just occurred ot me
H: Let me guess, there's an advantage to being on the same side.
S: Well, we don't have to get the business out of the way before getting to the pleasure. (She kneels between Harvey's spread legs omfg)
H: There's also a disadvantage.
S: Oh, let me guess you have some rule.
H: I don't cook in my own kitchen. (lol it's obvious by this point that Harvey has no intention of turning Scottie down)
S: You cook?
H: It's a metaphor.
S: Yeah I got that, but you're in luck. We are not in the same kitchen.
H: We are on this case. (They stand up and Scottie strips off Harvey's jacket, boxes him against the wall with her arms)
S: Somebody didn't read the paperwork.
H: When do I ever read the paperwork?
S: We're still separate entities, it's just a combined legal action.
H: Ooh I like the sound of that.
S: I was hoping you might.
H: Are you gonna litigate me into sleeping with you?
S: I'm going to lead you right where you're dying to go.
H: How long till we land?
S: Long enough.
H: Combined legal action...
H: You know we didn't decide who's taking the lead on the deposition.
S: We could rock paper scissors for it.
H: oh ho! Or we could do this.
S: How will we know who won?
H: Oh, we'll know.
AHAHAHAHA. Harvey loses. "Maybe I let you win." He wants a "rematch." I just. Can we please take a moment and talk about what that even means? How does one win or lose in a situation like this? Did she make him come quicker than is 'acceptable'? Or was his orgasm just exceptionally mindblowing because of her lurve makin' skills? Was her cocksucking particularly transcendent on this occasion? Did she do/say something particularly dirty or unusual? The implication is that she was somehow *better* than him at having sex. Argh! I need your theories and suggestions and I need them now.
Louis's faith in Rachel is so amazing. His enthusiasm about her leaving to go ot Harvard, and then his outrage when he hears she didn't get in, and that it's because of Sheila Sazs. "I believe you suffered the slings nad arrows of outrageous wrongness." oh my heart. See, now this bit of the story did get to me - Louis went in to bat for Rachel, he confronted Shelia and demanded she reconsider (and got laid in the process. Huh. Mike's the only guy who didn't get any action this episode. Unusual!), and then discovered that Sheila's decision had nothing to do with Louis, Rachel simply wasn't good enough. Which, ouch. Louis's decision to lie to Rachel and tell her it was because he'd let her down, though... whether Rachel believes him or not (and I don't think it really makes a difference, her heart is broken either way), that was the kindest thing we've ever seen Louis do, and now that I'm writing this I'm getting all emotional so maybe this story was more effective than I initially gave it credit for.
Love that Edward Darby basically hits on Harvey the moment they meet. "You should see me in my altogether." An expression I've never heard in my life btw, and I've lived in the UK for nearly fifteen years, but then Darby is extremely posh and old and maybe that's how the other half talk (or more likely it's how American screenwriters think the British talk).
Great moment when Hardman notices his name is no longer on the wall.
Katrina: And which side of right and wrong does sleeping with the paralegals fall on?
Rachel: Get the hell out of my office.
Katrina: You're right, that's none of my business. But it's a good thing you're going to law school, because they may sleep with the paralegals? But they end up with the lawyers.
*STABSSSSSS* Can someone else explain to me why that line makes me so angry? Because I can't formulate any clear thoughts about it.
Scottie wants PH to merge with her firm so she can get her name on the door alongside Harvey's. "Jessica's only choice is you."
Harvey: I don't need you to get my name on the door any more than I need you to win this case.
Aw, baby. So proud.
*sobbing* can't believe there's only one more episode to go. HOLD ME.