It's like, Nolan wouldn't know how to generate real emotion if real emotion punched him repeatedly in the face. Kind of how I want to. In an emotional way. His characters aren't real people, they're plot devices. When they emote I feel nothing because there is nothing about them that I recognise. Leo's character is the only one with a back story yet it's utterly benign: the (absurd) plot mechanics enable him to be driven by a tragedy - his wife is dead and it's all his fault - but, as he so aptly puts it late in the narrative, she's an empty cipher without any real personality, only what he is able to conjure from his damaged subconscious.
Ironically Leo is barely human himself, and the rest of the cast fare so badly I couldn't ascribe a single character trait to any of them. Well, I guess the lovely Joseph Gordon Levitt is quite a serious person, Ellen Page is concerned, and Tom Hardy is snarky. I just watched the first episode of The Sopranos and it really does make Nolan's work look incredibly amateurish: great writing (and acting, and directing) that makes every character, even if they're only onscreen for a minute, feel utterly real. But Nolan keeps his distance from his characters and actors - he doesn't care about them, all he cares about is his crazybrilliantintellectual ideas, not about exposing the truth about humanity, or about a good story that needs to be told. Who cares about why people do the things they do when we can just blow shit up, shoot people for no reason, and ask the audience to continually question what the flying fuck is going on?
Another complaint I always have about Nolan is his infuriating inability to shoot action sequences. I never have any clue where anyone is in relation to anyone else. That's quite important when it comes to film-making: you know, the ability to tell a story visually so the audience isn't confused.
And don't even get me started on the basic premise of the movie. That an idea can't be inserted into a person's mind because the brain will always be able to figure out that it's not really an original idea. Uh, no. I'm pretty sure humans have ideas all the time that originate from the ideas of others.
There is nothing dream-like about the dream sequences. They're not surreal, they're not even very weird. As Andrew O'Hehir puts it, they "look like conventional Hollywood action movies." Speaking of the critics, it is actually funny how angry people get when critics diss a Nolan film. The number of commenters who have called Stephanie Zacharek and David Edelstein "unprofessional" simply for being critical of the film really tickles me.
Finally, of all the things about Inception that I disliked, the awful, intrusive, deafening score might be at the top of my list. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.
JGL and Cillian were both a pleasure to see, as always, but I'd rather see them in something better written, more (genuinely) intelligent, preferably sexier, and where they are actually treated with the respect they deserve. Ellen Page I like but, again. A waste of her appeal. Hey I have a totally original idea: put them all in a porno together, stat. One with an actual sense of humour.
Thanks again, Nolan, for reminding me that you're more interested in masturbating in front of the entire world than in crafting a decent film for your blindly devoted fans. PS. Please hand the Batman reigns over to someone with some talent. Thanks.