My insomnia is so bad at the moment I have hardly slept in five nights. If you've never had insomnia you won't know what it's like but I'll try to explain how it feels to me.
It's like you're trapped in the land of awake, being in bed at night is uncomfortable and it makes you miserable, but you have no energy to be anywhere else so you just lie there with your eyes closed, tossing and turning, and you try to stop being afraid of not getting enough sleep because you know that's what's stopping you from falling asleep, and you do all the tricks you've learned over the years but nothing works and then suddenly your alarm goes off and you figure out that you must have finally passed out at about 4am. In the day you walk around like you're not even in your body, your eyes are sore, your muscles ache, your skin tingles unpleasantly, you feel disconnected from everything and everyone, and it takes a few seconds longer than normal to understand things. Sometimes you feel giddy, almost high, but not in fun way, and even though you've never felt so tired in your life you're pretty sure that if you lay down right now you wouldn't be able to sleep.
No wonder I self medicate!
Gossip Girl is awful. Some notes:
- Why does Rufus not want Dan to get a part time job and be a responsible young adult? Why is Rufus the worst father in the history of the world?
- Serena's speech about not being able to live without total freedom to do whatever she wants whenever she wants to made me want to punch her in the face. Shut up, Serena.
- Blair and Nate as a couple make me want to vom. I can't believe I'm supposed to think they are cute and MFEO after they both treated Vanessa like a piece of shit and then acted like she was being the unreasonable one. I hate them.
- When Jenny is my new favourite character something is very, very wrong.
- God I cannot wait for this season to be over so I can stop torturing myself.
I love the way Logan dresses. I'm currently very fond of him in this jacket: