Serena and the Artist
Jesus Christ, Serena, what the fucking fuck just happened there? Are you retarded? First of all, your new boyfriend is gross. Secondly, if you don't want to go out with a man who openly shags around, that's okay! Please don't let him make you feel bad about it!
I cannot believe that slimy, passive aggressive speech he gave her: "Jeez, Serena, I'm, like, totally a free spirit. But if you're not as awesome as me that's okay. I will still probably respect you even though you are clearly not as awesome as me."
And she fell for it! And then went for a walk in her pajamas! Oh, the embarrassment squickage. So not only did he trick her into accepting his philandering ways, he tricked her into *embracing* them. EW. I will only allow this storyline to continue if Serena starts joyously screwing a series of much-hotter-than-her-gross-boyfriend men.
The Humphrey Family of Doom
Wow. What a triumvirate of fuckwits. Rufus, who I used to like, just won gold in the Shitty Father Olympics, beating out some stiff competition. Could he actually be a worse father than John Winchester? I think so! And that ain't easy!
Jenny is pure evil, clearly. Her behaviour is so horrible it's amazing that I have any sympathy for her at all. Oh wait, I don't. I think Agnes was right to burn all her clothes and I think Rufus should send her to military school. Of course, Rufus won't do that because he's an enormous drip with absolutely no authority - she'll get her way, like she always does, and Rufus will sign those papers and she'll end up with her own fashion line at fifteen years old. Also, she will have no friends, because no one likes a selfish, disloyal, untrustworthy asshole.
And then there's Dan, who I just want to punch in the face.
Bart Bass: Man with a Conscience or Total Moron?
HOW DID DAN HUMPHREY BREAK YOU SO QUICKLY?
"I've had that man's death on my conscience for 20 years"
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? HOW ARE YOU A MULTI MILLIONAIRE?
Also, I know that we're supposed to think Dan did the right thing by not writing his little exposé and destroying Bart's family, but seriously people, Bart killed a man. And got away with it. Feeling sort of bad for twenty years about *killing someone* is not really good enough, you know? HE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO PRISON. I personally would like to see Bart Bass serve some time, because, call me old fashioned, but I don't think anyone should get away with murder. God I hate Bart Bass. I'm pleased that he's finally going to stop being an utter bastard to Chuck, because I like seeing Chuck happy, but still - HE BELONGS IN PRISON.
Blair vs Wallace Shawn: Best Ever.
The highlight of the episode was Blair being Blair, and the arrival of new character Cyrus, played by the wonderful Wallace Shawn. I found it odd that during the dinner scene, Blair was very clearly won over by Cyrus, but then in their next scene she carried on with her plan to destroy the relationship, but it's okay because it all worked out in the end, thanks to Cyndi Lauper and the fact that Cyrus is more than a match for Blair in the scheming and manipulating arena. I love Wallace Shawn and I love Cyrus - he even makes me like Eleanor more! Amazing!
But what I'm really noticing at the moment - and this is something you talked about recently, fleegull - is how wonderfully funny Leighton Meester is: her timing, her line delivery, her clear and intelligent understanding of (and affection for) the character, is the reason Blair is far more sympathetic and likeable than either Jenny or Serena. There's been a screwball quality to Meester's recent performances and it's absolutely delightful. MORE OF THAT PLEASE, GOSSIP GIRL.
I missed Vanessa and Nate. Why is Chase Crawford often not in episodes? He's more of a supporting character than anything else and I find it sad, because he's so pretty and dumb and nice and it's better when he's around.