Word count: 1,160
Notes: This is for radioreverie, who wanted a fic based on the song Daddy’s Car, by Jamie Lidell. I’m not sure how this ended up being a comedy but there it is. radioreverie also beta’d for me and is responsible for one of my favourite lines in the fic, because she rocks. Thank you Melissa! ♥
Summary: Clark stages an intervention.
Feedback: Yes please!!
Daddy’s Car, by Kate
“Lex, are you okay?”
Lex looks up from his slumped position on the floor and squints at Clark.
“Obviously, I am fine,” he slurs. “Are you okay?”
Clark rolls his eyes. “Get up. I’m taking you home.”
“I don’t want to go home,” he says, clearly enunciating every word. “I’m having fun.”
The thumping bass reverberates through Clark’s body as he reaches down and grabs hold of Lex’s arm, before hauling him up to his feet in one swift, graceful motion. Lex tumbles into Clark’s body and drapes a limp arm over Clark’s shoulder, putting his entire weight onto Clark.
“Do you wanna dance?” he asks. Then he giggles.
“Where’s your car?” Clark responds as patiently as he can.
“Clark,” Lex sighs, straightening up and clutching Clark’s arms. He looks into Clark’s eyes. “You can take me home after we’ve danced.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I borrowed Daddy’s limo tonight. Ralph is the only limo driver in Metropolis I can trust now. The others… well… they got what was coming to them.”
“You killed all the other limo drivers?” Clark asks blandly.
Lex finds this hilarious. “No Clark.” He stops laughing suddenly and his face turns serious. “Although that’s not a bad idea-”
“Lex, shut up. You have to get out of here. You’re making a fool of yourself.”
“Are you ashamed to be seen with me, Clark? Is that why you won’t dance?”
This is trying Clark’s patience. “For God’s sake. I won’t dance with you because you’re too drunk to stand, you’re acting like an idiot, and yeah, let’s not forget, you hate my guts.”
Lex looks like he’s concentrating hard on staying upright and looking sober. “Don’t be ridiculous. Why on earth would you think that?”
“Gee, I wonder.”
“Well if you hate me, why do you want to take me home?”
“No, you hate me. Oh, forget it.”
“If I hated you why would I be asking you to dance?”
“I dunno. Because you’re gay?”
Lex cracks up and Clark suppresses a smile. “Come dance with me. Come on.”
Clark’s eyes are starting to hurt from rolling them too often. “Fine,” he says in defeat. “One song, then I’m sending you home.”
Clark follows Lex onto the crowded, pulsing dance floor and when Lex stops and turns around Clark walks right into him. “Whoa!”
But Lex is already dancing, and they’re completely surrounded by hot, wet, perfumed, semi-naked bodies. Clark blinks uncomfortably. He’s not the best dancer in the world and he feels a little out of his depth, but it’s pretty funny watching Lex get his groove on, so Clark eventually relaxes.
He keeps it simple and unassuming, moving as little as he can and concentrating mainly on watching Lex bust his moves.
“That’s great, Lex,” he mocks. “Real smooth.”
Lex smiles sunnily at him. “You’re just jealous because you haven’t got any rhythm.”
“Hey!” Clark squeaks. “I’ve got rhythm.”
Lex grabs his hips. “Have you?” He sounds breathless. “Show me.” He presses up against Clark and slides a leg between Clark’s thighs, then starts to gyrate. It makes Clark choke out a laugh and stare down at Lex incredulously.
“Gay much?” he inquires. His question is answered by the stiff length of Lex’s erection being pushed insistently into the top of Clark’s thigh and the wet lips on his neck.
“Lex?” he says uncertainly. “We should probably go now.” This is getting weird.
“Okay,” Lex whispers breathlessly. “Come on.” Suddenly Clark is being lead out of the heaving crowd by the hand, and they’re rushing their way out of the club. Why is Lex in such a hurry now?
“Just drive around for a while,” Lex is saying to Ralph the driver, and then he’s pushing Clark into the back seat and clambering in after him.
“Lex, what’s going on?”
Clark is too surprised to react at all to Lex straddling him and sliding down his lap until they’re groin to groin. Lex moans and throws his head back.
Lex had thought when Clark said they should go that he meant they should go and… do… well, this. That had so not been what Clark had meant. The way Lex is biting his neck though, is confusing him. He needs to think of a way to make Lex stop.
“I think we should get you home now, Lex,” he says conversationally as Lex grinds down into his crotch. Shit. The physical sensation of that is causing his penis to respond rather enthusiastically, which is just… wrong.
“Yeah,” Lex agrees. “We’ll go home soon. But don’t worry. There’s plenty of space in here. Let’s make a mess.”
“Oh, fuck you feel good.” A long sigh. “My dad would kill us if he found us like this.” He sounds delighted about that. “Fucking each other in the backseat of his most prized car.” Voice strained and eyelids drooping. "Don't you want to, Clark? Don't you want to fuck me in the backseat of my daddy's car?" he pants out mischievously.
Clark’s hips are starting to move, seemingly of their own accord. “Lex,” he whispers between shallow noisy breaths. “That’s not why I’m here.”
Lex didn’t seem to hear that because he starts moving faster and unbuckling his belt.
“Why are you here, then?” Okay, so Lex did hear him.
“Lana asked me to come.”
“Fuck Lana. She means nothing to me now.”
Clark groans at the feel of Lex pulling down his fly. His cock is in Lex’s hand now and he’s finding it difficult to focus his eyes.
“That’s not true,” he gasps. “You wouldn’t be out here getting hammered and making scenes every night if you were over her.”
Clark takes hold of Lex’s cock and they start thrusting into each other’s hands in unison.
“I don’t need her,” Lex whispers shakily. “I just need your hand on me. That’s all I need.”
Fuck. Clark’s close to coming and it looks like Lex might be too.
“Girlfriends come and go…” Lex says on a moan. “But you and I…”
“We’re forever-“ Lex stops suddenly and starts to shudder, hot liquid spilling out of his cock, all over Clark’s moving fist, spurting out onto Clark’s black t-shirt. Clark reciprocates with a long helpless groan, as he soaks them both with his own come.
Lex slumps onto him and they cling to each other for about a minute.
Then Clark finds Lex’s mouth with his own and they kiss.
“Let’s go home,” Lex purrs sleepily. “I want you to fuck me.”
Clark gasps. “I-”
Jerking each other off is one thing. Having sex is an entirely different thing altogether.
Lex kisses him again.
“Okay,” Clark says in a high voice, making a mental note to leave out the details when he regales Lana with the tale of his successful intervention tomorrow.
No one needs to know about this except Clark and Lex. And Ralph. And possibly Lionel.