Kate (mskatej) wrote,

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Fandom: too complex for mothers

I have a lot on this week. I have birthday drinks for Nina on Wednesday, my parents are arriving from NZ on Thursday, and on Saturday I’m having a birthday party, which I haven’t remotely organised (bar the invitations) and which my parents are not invited to. Is that wrong? I haven’t seen them for a few years and I’m sure they’d like to meet a lot of my friends, but seriously, they won’t like my party. The music will be mostly hip hop/r&b and people will be, like, smoking pot and popping pills, and yeah, THEY CANNOT COME. Apart from anything else I want to be able to smoke myself, without having to deal with my mother crying like a baby about her perfect daughter not being perfect. Besides, they will get me on my actual birthday which is a great honour for them.

I've been thinking seriously about telling my mother about all this. This fandom thing. 

My dad doesn't need to know because he's in his sixties and amusingly homophobic and without any interest in thinking of me as a sexual being and that's the way I'd like it to stay, but my mum's different. Hell, I bet she'd really *enjoy* the stuff I write if it wasn't written by me. The first erotic stuff I ever read belonged to her after all! I have quite an urge to convert her to erotic fanfiction. Give her some of Jenn's clex fics; get her started the way I got started. Eventually let her read the shit I've been writing. I mean, God, I wouldn't want her to read my LJ because she IS my mother and I do talk about penises and gay porn ALL THE TIME and my language is atrocious, but I just. I want her to know that I actually *do* something with my spare time other than get drunk. That I have an intellectually stimulating, creative, time consuming hobby that I love with all my heart and that's a huge and longterm part of my life.

The problem is, how do you explain fandom to someone who has no clue what fandom is? I've tried, God knows, and there's like, NO WAY to be brief and for it to make sense. I could say to my mum, let me email you a bunch of wiki links, so you get what fandom is, what fanfiction is, what slash is, what het and gen means, what the history is, how LJ works, how big it is, how it's a wonderful place to meet women, how the talent in fandom is mindblowing, why it's not ever going to be about making money and no, I don't want to make money out of it (many, many of my friends don't understand how I can have talent and not want to capitalise on it. It's annoying sometimes having to explain that writing is, you know, FUN), but I want to be able to TELL her.  Sit her down and talk her through it. Explain why Clark and Lex are meant for each other, tell her how good I am at writing porn, how much I've improved over the year I've been writing, make her understand in a way that will leave her feeling happy for me, not worried about my strange, sick obsession.  But it's not really possible, is it? It takes years to understand how fandom works, not a lunchtime. SIGH.

Talk to me about fandom. To you, what is fandom in a nutshell?  If you're describing Livejournal to someone, what do you say? 

How do I make my mum understand that it's not just about the gay porn?
Tags: fandom, real life
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