OH GOD I AM SICK OF WRITING ESSAYS. I have another one due in a week and I hate all this stupid pressure. I could be out drinking! But NO. I have to stay in and attempt to do analyses of things no one normal will ever care about. Currently I am attempting to analyse the mise-en-scene in The Bourne Identity. For God's sake. I'm pretty certain I was perfectly happy back in the days when I didn't know what the fuck mise-en-scene meant.

I really need to read more and watch less TV, and I totally will as soon as I'm caught up with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia which is quickly becoming one of my favourite shows of all time. My sense of humour + this show? OTP. Well acted, well written absurdity is pretty much the key to my comedy heart, and if it's on the edgy side all the better.

Loving Rihanna's new album. Hating her hair. (I miss this hair.)

One more week to go! Then we have our end of term party. I hope my hot teacher comes.

Why in God's name did I choose to write an essay on Foucault? *SOB* If you never see me again after this moment it's because I've killed myself. FYI.

In television news, my favourite show at the moment is (gasp!) The Vampire Diaries. I can't get enough of it! It's the perfect combination of cheese, sexiness, jokes, frights and vampires. And you know what, forget what I said before about it not being good. I was talking crazy.

And now, in alphabetical order, comments about some of the shows I'm watching:

30 Rock

Best episode ever? Y/Y?

Bored to Death

Hysterical. <3

I am completely obsessed with Jason Schwartzman. This is freaky because I used to hate him, but Jonathan Ames is a deceptively appealing character: guileless, pathetic, and strangely, sleepily sexy, in a way that creeps up on you slowly but surely. Once in his thrall he is irresistible and all I want to do is watch him, laugh at him and imagine kissing him (I know! I told you it was freaky, but JS is actually a really good screen kisser).

Also, watch this stupendous clip:

Kanye's 'Can't Tell Me Nothing' with Zach Galifianakis


Community

( spoilers! )


Cougar Town

There's something very wrong with me but I keep downloading this show, watching it and hating it. Okay, it never bores me, but every character needs to kill themselves and I'm not kidding.

Glee

I'm one behind but I enjoyed last week's episode, because Artie is a really great singer (loved "Dancing With Myself") and the club's rendition of "Proud Mary" was totally fierce.


( How I Met Your Mother, 5.08: The Playbook )


( Smallville, 9.08: Idol )


The X Factor

I've given up on caring about The X Factor although I still half-heartedly watch (without voting!). This is my eternal problem with reality television: the public and their horrible taste and their sexism. I still find it unacceptable that they voted off Miss Frank, and that apparently they think Stacey is both the best female singer and a worthy winner, just because she's amusing. Shit man, I would never buy her album. Her singing is mediocre! Olly better win, and not because he is awesome at singing (he's not) but because he's the best performer by miles. I genuinely understand the dislike of Danyl because he's strangely charmless, but he's the best singer so I hope he at least makes it to the final. That Jedward are the big news this year is a joke.

First essay submitted!

As it turns out, writing essays is nothing like writing porn.


( Vampire Diaries, 1.01-1.06 )

Ugh, I am hungover and I have to go to a compulsory lecture on plagiarism tonight, when I would much rather go home, eat fried food and watch television.

Not The Good Wife though, which I'm sorry to say I find absolutely terrible. (I've watched the first two episodes.) Overblown, overacted, badly scripted melodrama that takes itself too seriously - it already feels embarrassingly dated to me, and I'm disappointed that this is not a more realistic, audacious portrayal of a woman who has spent her adult life being defined by her role as a politician's wife, because that would actually be interesting. Another lawyer procedural, on the other hand, is not. The "girl power!" vibe feels cheesy and empty to me, because I personally believe that drama featuring strong women characters tends to have more (feminist) value if it's honest rather than fantastical. The reason Mad Men is powerful is because it doesn't shy away from human nastiness and yet it rarely feels gratuitous, whereas everything in The Good Wife is over the top, hard to relate to, and difficult to believe. No points.

I like White Collar though, I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear.

Also, I may drop Dollhouse. It hasn't been all that engaging this season, and after the last episode I have lost all faith that the show is going in a direction I can get on board with.

I start university in one month. I have enrolled, I have even paid the fees for the first term, so there is NO TURNING BACK. I will be working full time, studying part time for the next four years, and most likely doing volunteer work once a week for Victim Support. It's possible I may be overextending myself, in which case the voluntary work will have to, sadly, be put on the back-burner.

OH MY GOD.

Goodbye forever, fandom. /kidding (hopefully)

I'm finding it cold here. It's really warm outside, but my parents house is like an icebox. I miss central heating.

The wedding was excellent, although I was so jetlagged I had to leave before it turned into carnage. Two of the boys ended up in hospital - one had a dance floor accident which resulted in an enormous shiner, the other simply fell over whilst standing and cracked his head. LOL. Idiots.

I'm doing nothing but relaxing, and trying to recuperate. I am not keeping up with any of my TV, and I'm barely looking at the internet, but I am watching plenty of stuff. I discovered that my awesome mother bought Slings and Arrows season one, on the strength of me telling her it was really good even though I'd never seen it, and we are both totally in love with it. We're four episodes in. Paul Gross is *amazing*. And why did no one tell me Rachel McAdams was in it! She's like totally one of my favourite actresses!

Also, I brought Veronica Mars season one to show my mother. We're four episodes into that also, and Mum called Logan "the creepy one", and I was all, "JUST YOU WAIT. Everyone falls for Logan." And she was all, "I'd be very surprised" and now I'm slightly concerned because what if she never stops finding him creepy? I'd probably have to divorce her.

And now I'm going to finish my book.

I have decided to ship Zac Efron with Megan Fox, even though some gossip I read recently suggested that poor Vanessa Hudgens is jealous of their "friendship".

( Proof of jealousy )

Or maybe they can be my new ot3?



According to the internet their celebrity power name will be Megafron. Perfect.

A lot of Megan Fox fans really hate Brian Austin Green and wish she was with Shia Lebouf instead, which is weird to me because BAG is super hot and Shia is a dweeb.

( Proof of this. )

Not that it matters who Megan used to date because from now on we are going to be rooting for her budding relationship with the Zef.

( Supporting evidence )

Plus quotes to support my position:

"I'm obsessed with him," she told a Page Six spy.

"What you don't know is that Zac and I are the same person. It's like Janet and Michael [Jackson], we are the same person."

And:

During an interview for her new film 'Jennifer's Body', in which she plays a cheerleader who literally eats men, Megan revealed that in real life she'd love to take a bite out of 'High School Musical' hunk Zac Efron!

"I think he'd taste like a strawberry cupcake!" Fox said.

It's so on!

~

I haven't talked much about TV lately but I've been watching a ton of it. I've seen the Leverage Pilot (♥Aldis Hodge♥); the unaired Dollhouse pilot (far superior to the aired one) and the unaired 13th episode (not that good! It made me feel like I'd been horribly spoiled for the ending of the show); Hung (I can't get enough of Tanya, such a downtrodden, sweet-natured pimp, such an optimistic, weary loser); Weeds (funny); True Blood (I'm an episode behind now but I'm loving this season); and best of all, I'm halfway through season 3 of Rescue Me. Which I love more than anything. I can't believe I waited so long for this and rest assured once I'm done with it I'll be downloading the rest and catching up because it's amazing. I don't know when I started finding Dennis Leary sexy (I used to hate him) but there is something about him that does it for me now. The relentless sarcasm?

~

I'm off to New Zealand tomorrow! I have never needed a holiday so badly in my entire life. My health is not great at the moment: I have (seemingly) undiagnosable abdominal problems, which I am starting to suspect are stress related. I can't wait to see my mum and dad, and Kirsten, and I'm looking forward to David and Hannah's wedding, and my dad's 70th birthday, and sitting by the fire (it's winter there), and eating home grown veggies, and drinking gorgeous wine (in moderation, of course), and watching lots of movies, and relaxing. I'm going to miss Charlie terribly though.

I got to go to the zoo for free yesterday! And I saw a TIGER:



( More tiger and a camel )


( Plus bonus Charlie being cute )


( Plus bonus eagle being cool )

ETA. Oh yeah, and every cat person loves a happy kitty yes? Well check out this (crazy) video and see the world's happiest cat:

Deer Licks Cat

The 4th of July party was good. Everyone liked my Lois Lane costume (which was just me in normal party wear, flashing my press pass at people whilst saying, "Lois Lane, Investigative Reporter"). Lex was dressed as Hunter S Thompson, which meant we began the night arguing about whether or not he killed himself. I was, of course, the winner, insisting to Lex that he'd shot himself in the head a few years ago, and Lex was all, "no that was William S Burroughs" and I was all, "no, he died ages ago but he didn't shoot himself". He didn't believe me until someone else confirmed it, but that's okay because I was right.

~

This morning was terrible. For the first time since I got him Charlie didn't turn up for breakfast, so naturally I freaked the fuck out and spent the morning crying and panicking and fearing the worst, only to go home at half eleven to find the little sod perfectly happy and fine and pleased with himself. So now I'm back at work and in a much better mood.

~

Enty revealed his blind items this weekend on Crazy Days and Nights. For scandalous tales of celebrities behaving like douchebags (and occasionally like diamonds), scroll through the first several pages and feel better about yourself.

Have any of you seen Catherine Breillat's arresting and unforgettable "The Last Mistress"? If not, you should.

I adored it. The central relationship, between Vellini and Ryno, has got everything I love best: passion, hate, devotion at the expense of everything and everyone else, fun, cruelty, helplessness; it's epic, deeply sexual, and dangerous. (Thinking on it, they remind me a lot of Veronica and Logan.)

The way Breillat trains the camera on the exquisite Fu'ad Ait Aattou (who plays Ryno) is almost perverse. It's not that I find myself particularly sexually attracted to him, it's that he's so phenomenally beautiful that anyone with eyes, male or female, would enjoy gazing at him all day, and Breillat clearly understands this (seriously, she makes love to him with the camera). And then there's Asia Argento's Vellini, whose raw, untamed sexuality practically leaps out of the screen and eats you whole.

---

Cats are stupid!

I love all the outraged comments at the bottom. "BUT MY CAT OPENS DOORS AND IS THEREFORE A GENIUS". LOL.

~

H&M are collaborating with Jimmy Choo!!! This excited Sharan and me so much that we put the date in our diaries (14 November) and we're planning to get up early, queue for ages, buy some shoes and then spend the day drinking bubbly.

I'm going to a 4th of July party on the 4th of July and the theme is "come dressed as your favorite american - alive/dead or imaginary".

I pretty much hate theme parties, mostly because I'm lazy, but I've been told they won't let me in if I don't dress up. But who should I go as?

My two favourite ideas so far are Liz Lemon and Sydney Bristow. If I go as Sydney I could totally wear my flatmate's pink wig.

I welcome any other ideas though, and would be particularly interested in hearing about women with bangs.

See, I've wanted to get a fringe for years because I feel I have the right shaped face for one, but my hair is very odd and I've always been told by hairdressers that it's a bad idea, mostly because it would require daily maintenance. Understandably this put me off, because I am a low maintenance kind of gal who spends a maximum of five minutes getting ready every day.

Then I got these amazing Corioliss hair straighteners, which have totally changed my life. I can tame my hair within minutes, and if I spend a little longer on it I can create curls that actually keep their shape if I wear my hair down. So with this in mind it seemed like a good time to try out a fringe.

My plan today was to have a consultation, and the first hairdresser I went to wasn't crazy about the idea, because of something to do with my widow's peak and how my hair lifts up at the hairline, which is apparently not normal. Still, she said if I was willing to maintain it every day I could get one, so I booked an appointment for a full haircut this Friday. Then Sharan was all, "Let's pop into another salon and get a second opinion. You know, just to see what they say."

The hairdresser was called Emily and she was this gorgeous, bubbly kiwi girl who I instantly fell for, and she checked out my hair and was like, "Yes, because of your two cowlicks and your widow's peak it's going to look awesome." Which was exactly the answer I wanted! Next thing I know she's got her scissors out and I'm like, "Are you going to do it now?!!!!" And there was much squealing and laughter and me talking in a high pitched voice about how I totally wasn't ready but MAYBE I SHOULD, and Sharan was all "DO IT."

So we did it! And I am very happy with the results! Although my forehead feels very hot.

Before you look at the pictures, please bear in mind that I didn't do my hair prior to taking them, and I think I can get it looking a lot better when it's down then it looks here. I'm quite digging how it looks in a ponytail though.

( Hair styling. )

Movies seen recently:

1. Stardust: Absolutely brilliant!
2. Choke: Diverting but forgettable!
3. Repulsion: Gave me nightmares!

My shoes still haven't arrived. >:(

My Veronica/Logan fic that no one will read is coming along nicely.

I watched the VM extras on Sunday. The season 4 presentation was weird because it didn't feature Logan, Keith or Wallace. Was Rob Thomas planning on doing S4 without them?

I'd be keen to read some T:TSCC fic. My pairing preferences are John/Cameron and Sarah/Derek. Can anyone point me in the direction of some good fic? Or even better, good rec pages?

( My thoughts on these two pairings )

I'm thinking of getting a fringe. Or bangs, for the Americans in the audience.

I dyed my hair blackest black (it used to be darkest brown) and bought a really expensive pair of straighteners that also curl. Here I am on Southbank last Friday, with Hilary, modelling my new 'do:

( Drunk photos. )

radioreverie made me this icon because apparently I am a crazy cat lady. :)

~

My insomnia is so bad at the moment I have hardly slept in five nights. If you've never had insomnia you won't know what it's like but I'll try to explain how it feels to me.

It's like you're trapped in the land of awake, being in bed at night is uncomfortable and it makes you miserable, but you have no energy to be anywhere else so you just lie there with your eyes closed, tossing and turning, and you try to stop being afraid of not getting enough sleep because you know that's what's stopping you from falling asleep, and you do all the tricks you've learned over the years but nothing works and then suddenly your alarm goes off and you figure out that you must have finally passed out at about 4am. In the day you walk around like you're not even in your body, your eyes are sore, your muscles ache, your skin tingles unpleasantly, you feel disconnected from everything and everyone, and it takes a few seconds longer than normal to understand things. Sometimes you feel giddy, almost high, but not in fun way, and even though you've never felt so tired in your life you're pretty sure that if you lay down right now you wouldn't be able to sleep.

No wonder I self medicate!

~

Gossip Girl is awful. Some notes:

( Gossip Girl, 2.21: Seder Anything )

~

I love the way Logan dresses. I'm currently very fond of him in this jacket:

( guuuuuh. )
Sexy.

Can someone please tell me exactly what happened in Supernatural last night with regards to ( spoilers ) Because I don't have a clear picture yet and it's bothering me. Thanks!

~

Nightfall, by utsusemia, might be the most powerful, emotionally devastating, hauntingly beautiful story I've ever read. You needn't have even seen Veronica Mars for it to knock the breath out of you, but if you have the slightest fondness for Logan/Veronica it will kill you. Read it and then come and hold me.

~

I've had the week from hell. There are several people at work I'd love to punch in the face, but I'm a pacifist so I can't.

Tell me something cheerful/funny/nice and/or rec me the saddest story you've ever read, I don't care about the fandom (although if it's a pairing that squicks me I won't read it, obviously).

Leave a comment and I'll tell you five things I associate with you. And then you post about those five things, and invite others to have you tell them what you associate with them!

fleegull chose:

1) London

Ah, London. The emigration destination for 90% of the youth of New Zealand. If you're a kiwi and you haven't lived in London for at least a couple of years you are probably a big loser (no offence). I got here about seven years ago and I'm as settled as it's possible to be in a city this insane, although I still don't know my way around the west end. This is not a joke. Every time I go to the theatre I have to print off a coloured map from streetmap.co.uk and I still get lost. It's so embarrassing. I used to live in Notting Hill and I hate it there – too many tourists, too many bankers -- who think they’re cool for living in such a bohemian area when actually they are just suckers because it is now ridiculously overpriced and full of pretentious dickwads and it hasn’t been bohemian since the seventies although the carnival is still good times except for how it gets really violent -- not enough cool bars (which is the fault of the bankers, of course. A bar is only as cool as its clientele). Best city in the world.

2) Being so outspoken...a good thing!

Blame my parents, especially my mother. Both of them are scrupulously honest which is why I never lie, and my mother is very opinionated and outspoken, so it’s normal behaviour to me.

I’m an extrovert who likes a good discussion and the best way to kick off a discussion is by speaking your mind about a contentious issue. Yes, it means taking a risk that you might offend someone, but if you’re good humoured about it more often than not people will respond positively. Of course, being outspoken has come back to bite me in the ass on more than one occasion here in fandom and because of that I now keep my journal mostly light-hearted. As it turns out I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with nasty backlash and I’m definitely not prepared to be seen as a fandom wanker/hypocrite/misogynist even by a small number of fucking assholes, so I don’t look for trouble anymore because at heart I’m a sensitive soul who just wants people to like her.

3) female characters in fandom: standing up for them!

If I had one huge bugbear in fandom it’s the ubiquitous, relentless bashing of female characters. No matter what the fandom you’ll generally find the most unpopular character/s is/are female. This upsets me. It makes me wish that we would all try harder to resist hating that female character who drives us nuts, because maybe our reasons for hating her are Utter Bullshit and based more on deeply ingrained sexism than on things that actually offend us. Maybe they’re based on just plain jealousy. Maybe she’s really not all that bad. Maybe we should take a good hard look at ourselves every time we think of a female character as a skank, and if we just can’t help ourselves calling her a whore in our head we should *definitely* stop ourselves from sharing that opinion with the world. Because it hurts our cause whenever we use hateful, derogatory language about women, and is it really such a hardship to keep our mouths shut when we’re in public? It’s bad enough when men judge us because of the way we look or the number of people we fuck, but when women do it, it hurts so much more. It’s not wrong to hate a character (and of course I dislike my fair share of female characters) but when you’re spending more time despising her existence than you are, I dunno, having a life, you maybe want to check your attitude.

So yeah, even the female characters I don’t like will get a second, third, tenth chance from me, because I want to be able to stand up for them when everyone else is damning them to hell for eternity. \o/

4) Nightlife and how you live it up so well!

HA! I have always been a hedonist and I suspect I always will be. My friends and I tend to have this in common: we like to drink. If I’m getting together with a friend drinking is going to be done, and if it’s not I’m going to wonder why they're trying to ruin my good time.

5) Dinosaur comics!

Funniest comic strip IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I would marry T-Rex if I could (and if I can’t then I will marry Ryan).

A few of my favourites:

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000004.html

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000005.html

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000011.html

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000016.html

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000816.html

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001203.html

I don't have to go to work today! Because of this:
( Pictures! )

~

In other news, I haven't watched the latest "Smallville" yet. Mostly because everyone seems to hate it right now for some reason or other and I can't be bothered getting angry/frustrated/sad, so I'm doing other things instead, like rewatching "Veronica Mars" season 1 with Kirsty (it's just as good if not better the second time round!), reading as much S1 LoVe fic as I can get my hands on (holy crap, THIS STORY is one the best things I've ever read), watching season 2 of "How I Met Your Mother" (LOL), ooh and watching "Baby Mama" finally, which is completely awesome. How is Amy Poehler so funny?

I feel ropey. We had a party at our house and I snogged a guy called Nicholas at midnight, and then again much later. He told Sharan that he thinks I am too smart for him, which is probably true, but I really don't care because he is a good kisser and hot and he has a lovely voice and he rides a motorbike and he promised to take me for a ride and I have never been on a motorbike but I've always wanted to and I've also always needed an excuse to buy some leather pants. The last people left the party at 7.30am and I am never drinking again (although I might have to because there's so much booze left and I wouldn't want it to be wasted).

~

What does Arthur wear to bed? I was thinking like a nightshirt and some drawstring pants, but is that right? And if so, what would the pants be called? (Currently I am calling them bloomers but only because it makes me laugh).

I bought my first ipod on Friday and I'm having a passionate love affair with it. I'm not sure how I lived so long without one but never mind. I'm thinking that I might now get into podcasts, but I'm not sure how to find the good stuff, so if you can recommend me anything you think I might like please do so!

~

Vid recs

I don't watch many vids but last night I saw two of my favourites ever:

Revelation, by theclexfactor (or go here for a streamed version)

It's possible that I may not have made this very clear yet but if you're not watching this season of Smallville you are missing out so hard. It is amazing. Clark and Lois are falling in love with each other and it's very, very sexy and full of humour and angst, and Tom and Erica just look so freaking gorgeous this year it's practically impossible to watch the show without dissolving into a puddle of lust. This vid captures the wonder that is S8 Clois, and the song is perfect: Leona Lewis's heartwrenching cover of Snow Patrol's "Run". Even if you're not a SV fan, go watch this lovely vid.

This has been rec'd a lot already but that's because it is genius:

I Kissed A Girl, by bop_radar.

A lame song made funny and sexy by a very talented vidder. Boppy totally understands what makes Clark so attractive: his lack of ego despite his remarkable good looks, his shyness, his sweetness, and his smile when he's aroused. GUH. As you can imagine, there is a lot of awesome Clark kissage in this vid, which obviously makes it essential viewing.

~

I was going to do that cool Flickr mosaic meme but it all went wrong so I will just leave you with two very delicious Tom Welling photos instead:

( HOW SO BEAUTIFUL? )

Right! Now to finish my undermistletoe porn fic and send it off for betaing. \o/

ETA: Hey, I'm going to send some more fics to my new-to-fanfiction friend, Christine, and I'd like some advice. I'd like to send her the best Wincest fic, the best John/Rodney fic, and a bunch more SV fics (because I am biased). Suggestions?

I'm off to my very first Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Lex has a new girlfriend who lives in London and is American, and that is great for two reasons: 1. it means Lex will come to London to visit all the time and 2. I get invited to Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently there will be pumpkin pie and pecan pie, two things I have never had but have always wanted to try. Nice.

~

Last night I went to see the London Philharmonic, playing this programme. It was so amazing I've been on a high ever since, and I am currently deeply in love with Tchaikovsky. The reason I've decided to start going to orchestral concerts is because about a month ago, Kirsty and I went to see Romeo and Juliet at the Barbican. We were both really disappointed with the ballet - the costumes were ugly, as was the set design, the lighting design was non-existent, the two leads had no chemistry, and the choreography was boring. It did, however, make us want to go see some "proper ballet", and because I'm not very knowledgeable about ballet I have insisted we go see Swan Lake, because it's a classic and because Carlos Acosta is on rotation (although maybe you can recommend some other must-see dancers, fleegull or chimosa?)

Anyway! My point is, the highlight of the night for me was the London Symphony Orchestra, and Prokofiev's incredible score, and that reminded me how much I used to love going to see NZSO concerts when I was in high school. I plan to become a regular at the Royal Festival Hall, because even the £9 cheap seats are fantastic, and there is so much awesome stuff coming up.

~

And now, because this year I am celebrating Thanksgiving, a short list of things I am thankful for:

1. My friends and family, because what's the point of life without them?
2. Charlie, who makes me happy every single day.
3. Great music, because it reminds me how remarkable human beings can be.
3. Television, because there's no better way to pass the time.
4. Fine wine and good food, just because.
5. Tom Welling, Erica Durance, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin, for rocking my world on a regular basis and for being my four favourite actors.
6. YOU GUYS. ♥

So last night I did this dumbass thing whilst drunk. See, I was out with Kirsty, Lois (who introduced herself to us as Superman's girlfriend, lol), Sharan and Christine, who works in another department here. I don't know her that well but I do really like her, and we had this little bonding moment early in the evening when she came by my office to pick me up, and spotted the Tom Welling picture I have tacked up on my wall. Turns out, she's a huge Smallville fan, she *downloads* it because she loves it so much (although she's still a few eps behind), she agrees with me that Tom Welling is the hottest man on the planet and that Clark is looking foxier this year than ever before, she loves Clark and Lois, and she finds Lex sexy. Amazing!

Later in the evening after much drinking I discovered more. She not only loves Smallville, she loves Supernatural and SGA, Buffy and Star Trek, and probably every other big fandomy show ever made. She didn't know what fanfiction was but she liked the sound of it, and was more than open to the idea of Wincest, and people, she is clearly a fangirl. I was all, "You have to read some fanfiction. I'm going to send you my latest story!"

Which I did the moment I got home. Except that I also thought it would be an awesome idea to send her a link to my livejournal.

This morning, when I remembered what I'd done I had a mini panic attack. HOLY SHIT I JUST GAVE SOMEONE I BARELY KNOW WHO WORKS AT THE SAME PLACE AS ME ACCESS TO MY LIVEJOURNAL. That's, like, three and a half years of me doing nothing but talk about television and porn, and omg WHAT WAS I THINKING.

When she walked in to our office this morning to say hi I was an anxious, shaky, hungover mess, and she goes to me: "You know what, Kate? I think I gave you the wrong email address."

LOL.

So I sent her the story as an attachment instead because I'm still on a mission to convert her to fanfiction, and whoever that other Christine person is that I sent last night's email to, she got a nice, weird surprise this morning.

VICTORY!

~

I saw "Teeth" the other day and I can't get it out of my head. Not a perfect film but seriously amazing (and strangely cathartic). You should ALL see it.

~

It is really cool to be fannishly obsessed with something again, to the point where all I want to do is write fanfiction. All me and Melissa do at the moment is talk about Clark and Lois and how perfect they are, both separately and together. Ack. I love them so much it hurts. Apparently I am now in het fandom you guys. The only character I remotely feel like slashing these days is Chuck from Gossip Girl (of course. I mean, who wouldn't?), but otherwise I'm all about boys and girls having non-subversive, heterosexual sex. From Jack and Liz, to Booth and Brennan, to House and Cuddy, to my beloved Clois, what the hell is going on?

PS. Clex fans, don't fret. I will always adore them.

Recent things that have made me happy:

1. "30 Rock", Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Jack and Liz and how they are BFFs who TOTALLY WANT TO SHAG EACH OTHER.

2. CLOIS. <3 <3 <3

3. Abyss (I'm sorry but I liked it! And I liked what Clark did! And I like Chloe again, finally!!!)

4. "Ghost Town". It was funny AND moving: my favourite combination. Any film with this much heart is a winner, afaic.

5. "Friday Night Lights". Oh my God I love this season. ♥ ♥ ♥

6. Fish finger sandwiches. The easiest thing ever to make and always delicious. Always.

7. Charlie! I need to picspam him again, because he's the best cat of all time. He went outside for the first time on Friday and I was so proud of him. Within five minutes the ginormous neighbourhood cat, who has been feuding with Charlie through our (glass) kitchen door, turns up on the balcony and Charlie instantly pounds towards him and jumps on his head. The enemy cat looked *so surprised* it was genius. Clearly he was not expecting Charlie to ever actually be let loose on him. Then he slunk off, defeated and embarrassed. \o/

8. Alexandra's performance on Saturday's X Factor.

9. Leona Lewis's cover of Snow Patrol's "Run".

Recent things that have annoyed me:

1. This post. A WORLD OF NO. (ETA. Screening the comments every time you're not around to answer them is rampantly stupid and does not make you look like less of a dick, fyi.)

2. Louis Walsh. Get the fuck off my television. I used to like you but now I really don't. Also, when you say to Eoghan (every fucking week) that he'll be in the final, and then you say the same thing to Diana, the whole world is thinking, "And what about JLS, asshat? You know, *the group you mentor*?"

3. Eoghan Quigg. *stabs*

When I was three years old I asked my mother if I could have peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because lots of the other kids at kindergarten had them so I figured they must be delicious. My mother agreed (despite not being a fan of peanut butter herself) and I took them with me to kindy, very excited. I took one bite and was utterly appalled. WHAT IS THIS HIDEOUS GLUE? I thought, completely traumatised. I decided then and there that peanut butter was the single worst foodstuff in the entire world (next to mushrooms) and that I would avoid it for the rest of my life. Fast forward 30 odd years and I'm living with a woman (Suz) who eats peanut butter every day. She goes through jars of the stuff so quickly and so joyously that I figured maybe, just maybe, I should give it another shot. It had been a long time since I first tried it, after all, and it's not like I hate peanuts or anything. Guess what. I FREAKING LOVE PEANUT BUTTER. It's amazing. I can't believe I have been living without it for my entire life because of a decision I made when I was three years old.

~

I was reading this post about the offensive tags on politisex and I learned something new: the term "brown sugar" is not just a "code for sex with WOC" (which I knew) but the old street name for heroin. The Rolling Stones song is talked about, but the song that immediately sprang to my mind is D'Angelo's "Brown Sugar", which is one of my favourite songs (and albums) and has been since it came out, about 13 years ago. I was like, *surely* D'Angelo is talking about a girl, not *heroin*, so I went and checked the lyrics.

IT COULD TOTALLY BE ABOUT HEROIN. I've always loved the lyric, "That's why my eyes are a shade of blood burgundy" but I'd always just assumed he had bloodshot eyes because of all the hot sex he was having! And then later he mentions that she's "got a big sister by the name of Chocolate Thai". Chocolate Thai is a kind of cannabis.

HA! I mean, I think D'Angelo is just being metaphorical, but it is amazing how many heroin inspired songs there are out there. According to the internet "Fire and Rain" (which is my and Kirsten's song) is all about James Taylor trying to kick the habit: "Won't you look down upon me, Jesus/You've got to help me make a stand/You've just got to see me through another day/My body's aching and my time is at hand/And I won't make it any other way..."

Interesting!

Best. News. Ever.

Thank you America! The rest of the world is totally in love with you right now.

Hilary texted me with the news at 4.30am this morning:

"U dancer!!!!Woo hoo!!! Fuckin awesome!!"

I was half asleep but still managed to burst into tears.

Oh, the young girls in my office, how they frustrate me with their old fashioned, sexist world views.

I hate the attitude that you shouldn’t sleep with a guy on the first date because he might not respect you. I can’t imagine withholding sex from a man in the hope that it will make him stick around a little longer, and here’s why:

1. If he doesn’t respect me for putting out too soon, then I don’t respect him, because a guy who will look at me unfavourably for doing *exactly the same thing he just did* is a guy I don’t need to see again.
   
2. What if you go on ten dates with a man, then you fuck him and it’s awful? I prefer to find out if we’re sexually compatible early on so we don’t waste each other’s time pretending there’s a future there when there’s not.
   

~

I spent all of yesterday at work writing my Lois story and I ended up with fewer words at the end of the day than I had at the start. It was very frustrating. I must have discarded thousands of words over the course of the day, and, you know, some of those words were pretty good! Except for the part where they didn't make sense. Argh. Today things will go better though, because it's not possible for them to go worse.

~

Watched "Penelope" last night. James McAvoy, how I love you so! The film was average but you were your usual ridiculously charming, sexy, gorgeous self. ♥ ♥ ♥

I am back from Dubai, thank God. It was the worst experience of all time, I hate the city with the fire of a thousand suns, travelling for work it turns out is my idea of hell on earth, and I am never, ever, ever doing it again. I got in at about 7am this morning and have spent today watching some of the TV I missed and hanging out with Charlie. Tonight I have a work dinner, which should be fun because Sharan will be there; the fact that the only sleep I've had in the past 24 hours was on the plane is slightly problematic but I figure I will just drink through it.

I'm a bit too spaced out to write anything coherent about the Smallville premiere today (other than HOLY FUCK TOM WELLING IS THE HOTTEST MAN I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON and CLARK AND LOIS 4EVA!!!111!!! ♥ ♥ ♥) but hopefully once I've seen episode 2 later this weekend I will get off my ass and talk about the show, which yeah okay fine I admit it, I am clearly watching this season.

Mostly I just wanted to say hellooooo flist! It's great to be home.

I got woken up this morning by lots of pathetic mewling by Charlie. He was either begging for food or trying to sing me happy birthday. I vote the latter! Then I opened my door and found a present from my two flatmates sitting just outside my room.

It's an amazing present, but also a frightening one. They got me tap dancing shoes and a voucher for one tap lesson. EEP. I expressed an interest in learning tap dancing months ago and we were all, LET'S GO TOGETHER! But like, I didn't expect to *ever actually do it*. And now I'm going to find out just how uncoordinated I really am. YAY?!

Big thanks to: the lovely norwich36 for making me a ton of adorable Charlie icons, latxcvi for the completely awesome e-card, and morganichele for being so sweet, kind and generous. ♥ ♥ ♥ Thanks also to giggleloop for the early birthday message! <3

~

In other news, I still haven't watched Mad Men, Gossip Girl, Weeds or Entourage (or Fringe, which I am planning to try out) from this week. It is tricky these days to find the time for all my shows, but I hope to have some time alone in the living room tomorrow night, or maybe Saturday day time before my b'day party. Because I like being relevant.

I did watch the Ryan Gosling movie "Fracture" last night though. It sucked hard and I don't recommend it one iota. It's like: Dear Anthony Hopkins, Once you've played a career defining psychopath like Hannibal Lecter there is no point playing bad guys ever again. Also, what in God's name accent were you trying to do? Was it Irish? :|

I has kitty pictures! He's so sweet. He has the loudest purr ever and he's very affectionate; he absolutely loves being touched, which is a quality I look for in a cat. I love him so much and I am annoyed at having to be at work because I really miss him. He is eight months old.

( PUSS! )

ISN'T HE AMAZING. <3 <3 <3

He is the most gorgeous, slutty, funny, awesome kitty of all time. His name is Charlie Sparkles Lewis. (We tried with the fannish names but none worked.) If you're wondering about the middle name it's because he was called Sparky when I got him and he totally suited it. HE IS PERFECT. I am smitten, and a little drunk now. Also, hilariously, I have puffy eyes and a runny nose. Apparently I am allergic to a house of cats! (There were at least twenty of the little beasts at Ashye's place but I grew up with cats and I've never had this problem before so I'm not remotely worried.)

OMG YAY!

I've pretty much decided that when I get my cat I will name him after a fictional character that I love, and in general my friends agree that this is a good idea. It's also something that happens commonly in fandom, yes? Well, whatever. I never said I was original.

So last night at my super fun dinner party we discussed possible cat names. Kirsty has been pushing for Tim, Riggins, Taylor or Kitsch. I have vetoed this, but am considering Coach, which I think is hilarious. Hilary says that Coach would only work on a fat, grumpy tom cat, but that is hopefully what my kitten will turn into, so.

My first choice is still Clark, which Hilary and Suz like, but which Kirsty is not keen on. She would rather I call the cat Mr Bob Dobalina, and actually I am seriously considering that just for the lolz. Other names discussed were Bruce Wayne (haha. MY POOR CAT IS TOTALLY GOING TO GET TEASED AT SCHOOL.) or Jack (named after Jack from Lost in case you were wondering, although theoretically he could also be named after Jack from 30 Rock or Jack from Alias).

Obviously I would like to hear your suggestions, dear flist, and I'm thinking the best way to kick off this very important discussion is with a poll. FYI, I am planning on getting a male cat but it's very possible I will fall in love with a female cat so feel free to suggest good girl names as well.

Poll #1242224
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 66

What should I call my cat?

Kate, please name your cat:

I have two mouth ulcers that popped up over night and now I am grumpy. WHY MUST I BE AFFLICTED WITH THIS PROBLEM? They are so *painful* and they make eating painful and they make me moody and self pitying and angry at my body and angry at my colleague who talks too loudly (it's like a bark. She is *barking* at me as I write this) and angry with everyone who doesn't get mouth ulcers because THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND and that bothers me. Ever since I quit smoking I have been getting mouth ulcers because apparently the one thing smoking is good for is your immune system. They don't tell you that in all the literature though, do they! Fuck you, body. FUCK. YOU. (Being hungover is not helping either.)

~

In other news, the girls and I watched "Death Proof" together last night because I convinced them that they would like it. And they did! Afterwards Kirsty drunkenly declared it the best film ever made, which pleased me greatly. And I loved it as much the second time as I did the first. It's my official Girl Power film, which is weird I know because I'm a pacifist ( cut for spoiler )

~

Enough of that though. What ails you? Let's all be self pitying together.

I am getting a kitten! Finally! It was getting silly because I kept making excuses for why I shouldn't get a cat but then I realised that all those excuses were just holding me back from doing something I've wanted to do for about a decade. And the fact of the matter is I simply cannot live without a cat anymore! I'm very excited. My landlord has granted permission and now I'm just waiting for the RSPCA to call me back to arrange a home visit. I don't anticipate any problems because I live in a very cat friendly household, complete with cat flap, garden and lots of unfriendly neighbourhood cats close by for him to become enemies with. I CAN'T WAIT.

~

Kirsty expressed interest a few weeks ago in maybe watching Buffy, which caused me to have an episode: I promptly went out and replaced all my Buffy videos with DVDs and now I'm totally psyched about rewatching the entire series with a Buffy virgin.

One of my favourite things to do in the entire world -- and I have a feeling all of you can relate to this -- is show a willing friend something I adore. I've gotten friends into Friday Night Lights, 30 Rock, The Wire, The L Word, Alias, BSG (Not Smallville, strangely enough. I don't think I've ever converted anyone to Smallville.) and I'm always thrilled when I find out that my friend has become a fan. It's best when you get to watch it with them though; there is nothing so pleasurable as popping in a favourite film and witnessing your friend's positive response. It's all about sharing!

I own a bunch of films that people might not have seen but which they are guaranteed to enjoy, and I often whip them out when I've got a friend over and we feel like watching something. Some off the top of my head:

10 Things I Hate About You
13 Going On 30
Beautiful Girls
Equilibrium
Mean Girls
When Night Is Falling
Wonder Boys

There's prolly more, but what I really want to know: what films can you think of that fit this description? I want Guaranteed Good Time films so I can complete my collection, and that doesn't meant they have to be comedies, it just means they have to be entertaining from start to finish. (Like Dirty Dancing! Which, criminally, I totally don't own on DVD yet.)

I just paid off one of my credit cards. And then I paid off a bit of my other credit card, and now I'm broke again. But soon. SOON I WILL BE DEBT FREE. And then I can buy myself British citizenship and maybe a laptop and then I shall start paying off my debts all over again.

It's good to have a plan!

~

My flatmates are so madly in love with "Friday Night Lights" I feel quite giddy. Almost as if they are my puppets and I am making them dance for me. They *begged* me last night to watch One More Episode but I was too tired so didn't give them what they wanted, but man it's so good to see this show again, on a television instead of my shitty computer (which now has a pink screen that Suz reckons is getting steadily pinker), and with people who are becoming more and more besotted by the episode (just like we all did).

I always loved the humour in FNL and this second viewing is really highlighting just how wonderfully funny it can be. Yesterday there was a bit in it that made the three of us so hysterical we missed a bunch of dialogue and we had to rewind TWICE to make sure we heard everything. Tim Riggins is very popular in our house, especially with Kirsty who can't get over how pretty he is, but we love all the characters and omg I forgot how much Coach makes me happy. ♥

Next I will make the girls watch "The Wire" which is a far more devastating viewing experience then FNL but I'm thinking that they will be able to handle it. And after that probably "The L Word" because that's awesome for the soft-core porn.

~

I'm going to go DVD shopping at lunch time today. What should I buy, flist?

(Hey tommy_chivs, do you have my copy of S2 of BSG?)

I just bought this bag:



It is awesome.

~

I finally got around to buying season 1 of "Friday Night Lights" and Amazon sent that to me today. My plan is to make my flatmates watch it with me because they will love it. (I'm worried they won't give it enough of a chance though. I tried making them watch 30 Rock but they didn't believe me when I told them they would get hooked and they gave up after only a few episodes. Idiots.)

~

I also got sent "The Lives of Others" which is one of the best films I've ever seen. I've told you guys about it before and I'll probably tell you about it again, but if you haven't seen it go rent (or buy) it now. If you have seen it, tell me what you thought! (Unless you didn't like it or something, in which case maybe don't tell me unless you want me to think a lot less of you. Seriously.)

~

I'm completely hooked on that show "Damages". Thanks fleegull!

EDIT: This brilliant rant by naamah_darling sums up how I feel about the Contraception = Abortion bullshit that has been upsetting me for the past day.

~

I'm going to "The Dark Knight" with the girls in a few weeks but I'm afraid to say the only thing I'm looking forward to about it is seeing the girls. (HI GIRLS.) Because I know I'm going to hate it. I hated the first one -- and I don't advise you get me started on why unless you've got all day -- and according to Stephanie Zacharek (who I trust more than any other person in the entire world on the subject of film) the second one is as big a mess. DAMN YOU CHRISTOPHER NOLAN. Please hand the reigns to a more worthy director (del Toro! Cuarón! Rodriguez!) for the next instalment, and please stop listening to all the people who tell you you are a genius, because you really are NOT. /end frustrated rant

Hopefully my expectations are so low that I will end up liking this one more? At least it's got Maggie and Heath.

~

Beauty myths! Um, I need someone to clear this up for me (blythely?) because it sounds like a myth but maybe there is science behind it. Is it true that you are supposed to change your face cream brand every four years? Several women have told me this and it annoys me because I have been using the same brand for way more than four years (it's a good cream!) and finding a new brand is going to be a huge pain in the ass because I am allergic to so many of them.

~

Tell me what you have on your mug and key-chain because it will be interesting. My work mug has this picture on it:



I bought it at the Beatles Store on Baker Street when I first started here and have been using it ever since.

My keyring is this:



My friend Anna gave it to me and I find it amusing even though I have only ever flown economy so I guess the joke's on me.

Dear Weirdo Colleague,

Please lock the door when you're in the bathroom so people don't walk in on you when you're pissing.

YOU ARE NOT AT HOME.

No love whatsoever,

Kate

~

The above didn't even happen to me, it happened to Sharan, but I'm still totally appalled.

What irks you today?

A few days ago I got friended on facebook by someone with the same name as me (I friended her back of course), and then today I got invited to join a group of all the people with my name and there are now 14 members! Apparently we are "legendary" and we have "graced the world with our presence" and "life just wouldn't be the same without us". LOL.

circe_tigana and blythely: is my CV ready to be used as is or are you still slaving over it and making it awesome?

~

On Saturday night I was at this party and I ended up talking about Battlestar Galactica with two other fans. Random! Now, I don't participate in the fandom at all other than reading bop_radar's reviews, so I have no idea what sort of speculation there is with regards to the final cylon and stuff like that (also, I don't really approach television in this way. I pretty much never bother trying to predict what's going to happen because a) when I do I'm always wrong, b) it's not in my nature. I prefer to take each episode as it comes), but it was totally fun hearing what one of these dudes reckons, and I think his theory is a good one.

( Cut for wild speculation. )

~

( 30 Rock, 2.13: Succession )

Dear icon maker moron,

What is the point of posting your spoilery teaser icons outside a cut next to a warning saying *SPOILER IMAGES*?

THANK YOU I CAN SEE THAT.

No love,

Kate

(I had actually seen the image in question this time but am still outraged on behalf of all other spoilerphobes out there who maybe hadn’t. Also, rampant stupidity annoys me.)

~

In other, more awesome, news, I passed my Life in the UK test! They gave us 45 minutes to answer 24 multiple choice questions and I did it in 5. BECAUSE I ARE CLEVA. They didn't tell me how many I got right (you had to score at least 18) but I know for sure that I got one wrong because I looked it up afterwards.

Right, so I've decided to go on this special diet because I want to find out if my eczema is in any way related to the things I eat, which means for the next month or so I am going wheat and dairy and egg free.

Wheat free bread: WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS. The stuff I had for breakfast was alright, but not the stuff I had for lunch. That tasted like it had been crapped out by Satan, no exaggeration. The rest of the loaf is now in the bin.

Basically it's been half a day and I already miss cheese, milk and butter. And proper bread. And cookies. What the fuck am I supposed to have for lunch every day? WHY DOES SOYA MILK HAVE TO TASTE LIKE THAT? I'm just, I'm pretty sure I will get sick of salad if I eat it every day for lunch. Did you know that there is wheat and/or dairy in *absolutely everything that tastes good*? Did you know that? No? Well now you do.

Dinner shouldn't pose too much of a problem because I will just eat lots of steamed vegetables and meat. THANK GOD I CAN STILL EAT MEAT. I really don't understand you vegetarians. A life without steak and chicken and fish and BBQs is a life that sucks quite hard IMO. (One time when I was 19 I became a vegetarian for a few months because this beautiful guy I knew lectured me about the evils of eating meat. But I failed completely at it because I kept eating chicken by mistake.)

Of course, if during this diet my eczema clears up and then it turns out that I have a wheat or dairy or egg intolerance there's almost no chance in hell that I would give any of them up. So why am I doing this, you ask?

Curiosity!

Please talk to me about your food allergies, and other annoying things like that. Also, what is your favourite and least favourite foods? I am weird and hate mushrooms.

My friend Sharan irons her jeans, which I have told her many times is unacceptable, so she often brings it up when people come into the office and she asks them if they iron their jeans. Everyone is like, "No way," and then I'm all, "SEE. YOU ARE A DEMON." Because it makes me think of Buffy every time.

Hey Blythe, Circe and Jayest: I'm currently studying for my "Life in the UK" test (I have to pass this before I can apply for citizenship) and I just found out that I am not allowed to drive here until I sit the theory and practical driving tests! WTF. Basically if you have a licence from a country outside the EU you can use it for up to 12 months and in that time you have to sit the tests. After 12 months it's illegal to drive. THIS SUCKS. A) I really don't want to have to sit my driving test again (ONCE IS DEFINITELY ENOUGH), and B) I do not want to study for the theory part of it (It's instinctive now! Theory shmeory!). Which means our plans for me to drive us places is scuppered (where were we planning to go again? I have totally forgotten even though I'm still up for it) and one of you will have to be the designated driver. :)

I spent some time on Saturday lovingly alphabetising my graphic novels and devising a new way to keep all my comics in order.

Opinions on a few comics I am reading:

Buffy S8 #12

( major spoiler! )


Nightwing #142

( Meh. )


Batman #674

( WOOT. )


Detective Comics #842

( Ooooooh. )

~

I have been having dirty fantasies about Bruce and Dick again. Do you think I should write them down in story format? I feel a bit disconnected from fandom and fic writing at the moment and I feel like writing porn would be silly. EEP. I also have chronic insomnia and I'm all out of sleeping pills. I'm stressed out about everything and I don't know what to do about it. I need a second job. I need someone (preferably an attractive boy) to show an interest in me. I need some sleep.

A week and a half ago I went to the doctor and told him I might have a bladder infection and he said, "ok, gimme a sample and we'll send it off to get tested and in the meantime here is a script for some antibiotics. I'll call you when we get the results and if you have an infection you can just start taking the antibiotics and you won't have to come back in and see me." Didn't hear from him and on Tuesday I called the surgery and asked for my test results. The receptionist says, "Well there's no note next to your name saying you should come back in, so you're fine." That same night I wake up, puke my guts out, and then spend Wednesday in freaking AGONY. Unable to move or eat or do anything, other than sleep and moan in pain. I figure I have just randomly come down with the most evil flu of all time, but then this morning I wake up to a letter from the doctor saying "You are infected, plz take medicine."

WHY DIDN'T HE CALL ME! He could have prevented this whole week! Which would have been not only the decent thing to do, but a MIRACLE.

*STAB*

Anyway, mediaville tagged me for a meme, and I have nothing better to do, so.

Here's the deal: People who have been tagged post their answers and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse (well, I'm saying you can refuse if you really don't want to do it). These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you.

( Q&As! )

I tag norwich36, bop_radar, serenography, fleegull, radioreverie, alibi_factory, femmenerd and rilestar.

Hello everyone!

I am back from New Zealand and super tired with jetlag. I spent my holiday watching movies and two seasons of Bones and playing with babies and drinking fine wine and putting on half a stone because food tastes so good back home that I couldn't stop eating. I am behind on The Wire, but caught up on The L Word and I still have an episode of Smallville to watch and however many House's that were on while I was away. Plus, I have many opinions to share about everything, although I may not be fucked with that, we shall see. In fact, if you want to know what I thought about anything in particular just ask and I will let you know (maybe).

Today though I think I will share a few photos from my holiday, mostly just me and my friends and some babies and a giant television.

( Happy holiday pics! )


And now we're done with that, please share your gossip with me. Have I missed anything crucial (apart from you lot, of course)?

I am off to New Zealand tomorrow! It’s been at least three years since I was last home and I am quite giddy with excitement. Just the thought of being at my old house, in the sweet little town I grew up in (my icon is of Te Mata Peak, which is in said town), with my mum and dad and my best friend Kirsten…*flap*. Kirsten asked me if I was going to go to Jazz in the Park with her and Anna (another of my very best friends) on the 2nd, and I was all, that’s the day I arrive, I may be jetlagged. BUT I WANT TO GO SO BADLY. Because it’s jazz! In the park! With my best friends! And hot weather! And I will need to stay awake anyway right? So I can get over my jetlag!

I will have internet access at my parents’ house but I don’t know whether I will be posting much, if at all. Mostly I plan to stay away from the computer as much as humanly possible. (Except, of course, to download and watch all my tv shows.)

But really, this is all just to say: have fun while I’m gone and if you’re gonna be wanky at least be funny while you do it.

Love you lots!

This hilarious recounting of her night out with a famous actor last night, by the awesome mediaville, will tickle you all I’m sure: apparently the actors we porn about DO enjoy reading our stories and often tease each other about it. TRUFAX.

~

Office antics...

So we’re all yapping about dyeing our hair and I’m moaning about how it’s all my parents' fault that I need to dye because they both went grey quite young and then Sharan whispers to us that she has one white pube and I say really loudly:

“That’s one thing I don’t have: A WHITE PUBE.”

Student walks in at exactly that moment.

Me: “Hi.”

Student: *embarrassed/amused*

All four of us: LOLOLOLOL.

I have excellent timing.

~

Here is a tasteless poll inspired by a convo I had with radioreverie yesterday and it’s about Tom Welling, but also it will show me how much of a cynic you are.

Tom has been married to his cute wife (Jamie) since 2002; he was 25 when he got married, and he is a notoriously private person so obviously your answers on this poll will be entirely speculative. Please bear in mind that he is insanely hot and undoubtedly gets a lot of offers.

Poll #1126595
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 55

Does Tom cheat on Jamie?

Ugh. I feel like crap today.

I'm thinking it might be nicotine withdrawals? It's been two and a bit weeks now and I've been on a total health kick and feeling good, and I've not been around anyone sick, so... surely I'm not getting sick for real right? Ex-smokers, is this normal? I tried finding info on the net but it's all about what happens in the first week and stuff.

If it's withdrawals then I'm okay with it because it means my system is just flushing out all the toxins, and soon I will feel better than ever.

It's good to be an optimist!

~

Also, if I'm going to buy my mum an awesome book that she hasn't read (she reads more books than anyone I know), what should I get her? (I'm thinking I might buy her the first book in astolat's series, and then I can read it too. Good plan: Y/Y?)

I just finished my marzipan log much to everyone else in the office's disgust. It was excellent in the end, and only a small amount pure evil.

I bought these shorts today! See, I am going to New Zealand on the 31st of January, and it's going to be hot there.

I am on day 15 of being a non-smoker. WHOO. Not only that, I have not really been drinking very much and I have been eating lots of healthy food and going on the sun bed a bit (this is mostly to prepare for NZ because I have fair skin and the NZ sun is the most dangerous in the world and I need a bit of a base tan for protection) so I feel TOTALLY FABULOUS. I also look better than normal. Goodbye nicotine! I loved you for more than a decade, but now it is time for us to part ways forever. *sniff*

I can't think of anything fannish to talk about at the moment and it's bothering me.