I'm very nearly finished my Veronica/Logan futurefic, and I'm scared because it desperately needs someone to beta the shit out of it but I know there aren't too many fans of the show left on my flist (or anywhere), let alone experienced beta reading fans of the show. That said, can any of you help me? If not, do you know: where else I might ask/of anyone who might be willing to lend a hand?

~

This post about Tom and Michael's reunion at the Laker's game made my day.

To make this post more fun and interesting I have decided to make it interactive, so there will be an awesome poll at the end of each section, for your pleasure. (Aside: Thanks so much for your support re my last post. I have locked it for now, just because it seems too personal to leave public but your kind advice is very much appreciated.)

~

This morning I had a very nice dirty dream about Jon Stewart. I did not even know I found him attractive! But I realise now that he is sexy, and because of the dream he has been added to my list of famous married men I'm allowed to have sex with if I ever meet them.

In your ~current~ mood, who would you pick?

Poll #1366355 Hot married famous guy poll
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 79

He would get it.

That was the hardest poll ever for me. :(

Speaking of Jason Dohring, he is guesting on Rob Thomas's new comedy, "Party Down", which starts this Friday (I'm excited! Is anyone else excited or do you all hate Rob too much?). You can see him in a short clip here, and omg he is funny and I LOVE HIM. ♥

~

( Smallville, 8.15: Infamous )

~

( The L Word, 6.08: Last Word )

~

( Dollhouse, 1.05: True Believer (no spoilers whatsoever) )

~

And finally, on a scale of 1 - 10, how incredibly hot is Shannyn Sossamon?

( To help you decide. )

Poll #1366359 Shannyn
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 32

Shannyn Sossamon is this hot.

I want to push these two photos together and make kissy noises. I am serious, could they be any hotter?

I have a theory that Erica and Tom are sexually attracted to each other but will never act on it because they're both married. That said, I would read pornographic RPF about them and I wouldn't even feel guilty. (If I wrote some would you read it?)

Poll #1332163
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 36

Will I enjoy last night's Smallville?

I am in a very Tom Welling space at the moment, friends. It's not that I ever went off him (not possible) but during hiatus I wasn't quite as focused on lusting after him as I normally am. But he is looking so fine right now I can barely handle it. He's as beautiful as he's always been (perhaps more so?) but his sex appeal is through the freaking roof this season, and I'm not sure if it's the suits, the hair, the body, the face, or the fact that he's just being really manly all the time. SUPERmanly, you might say.

~

I took Charlie to the vet for the first time on Friday, for his last vaccination and a general check up; afterwards I was planning on finally letting him go outside, something he's been dying to do (he spends much of his day staring out windows now). Unfortunately things didn't go as planned. Not only has he been mildly sick (a cold or something) which meant the vet didn't want to give him a shot, my wee angel has a heart murmur. This is apparently not uncommon with young cats but it sounds so serious to me, and of course I spent all of Friday in tears. So yeah, having a pet is not all fun and games, it can be hard. I love him so much and he's not in perfect health and that kills me. :(

~

At least television is happy-making though!

The X Factor

This show rules all right now. My entire flat is addicted and we have even come up with an X Factor drinking game (which will work just as well with American Idol btw): every time someone cries you take a drink; if you cry you down your glass. Man, we got DRUNK. Also, we have decided that we are only allowed to vote once, as a flat (I agreed to this very reluctantly. See, I originally claimed that because I care more I should be the only one to vote -- unless they agreed with me in which case they would also be allowed to vote -- but this plan was met with some resistance. So now we are going to vote between the three of us each week and if we all choose different people it will be down to the roll of a dice or some such thing. This system already scares me).

We're down to the final twelve now and the live shows start next Saturday. Each judge put two people through that I agreed with and one I didn't. Not that it really matters because my two favourites are through, and they are both so much better than everyone else in the competition if they don't end up in the final I will be devastated.

First, we have Austin, who I am a little bit in love with. He's got it all: he's utterly gorgeous, he's a great performer with a lot of sex appeal on stage, he's an incredible singer, and he cries constantly. Perfection! Simon's criticism that he comes across as too desperate is the most absurd thing I've ever heard; he is no more desperate than any other contestant. This show is all *about* insane desperation for pete's sake, and clearly Simon is only saying that because they need to give *some* negative feedback and he couldn't think of anything else.

Check him out: Austin sings "Valerie" at Boot Camp.

My other favourite contestant is Alexandra, because she is a world class talent and easily the best singer we've had on this show since Leona Lewis. Heck, she's 19 years old and she sang 'Natural Woman' in the latest round, and *nailed* it. I've been passionate about her since her first extraordinary audition, and she's continued to blow me away with each subsequent audition. She's in a league of her own and, unlike Austin, who makes me laugh every time he cries, she makes me *cry* every time she cries. She's my girl, I want her to win, and I want to buy her albums in the future. ♥

Added to that, I love all our judges (except Danni, who I only have lukewarm feelings for): as you all know, I would have sex with Simon in a heartbeat, and Louis is adorable. His wee face! Cheryl is the real surprise though. I *adore* her. She's absurdly beautiful, but she's also sweet and compassionate and honest and down to earth.

All I'm saying is, if this were a competition between American Idol and The X Factor, The X Factor wins. That's all I'm saying. Even our presenters kick ass: Dermot and Holly are both so legendary that I now secretly ship them and if I was that kind of fangirl I would be writing fanfic about them skipping down the beach together being silly and giggling a lot. OTOH, Ryan Seacrest is pure evil.

~

I might write some Clois. Prompts would be most helpful!

I just bought season 1 of "30 Rock". :)

On Saturday night I went to see Leonard Roberts' play "The Viewing Room" because my photographer friend Digby promised I would get to meet him afterwards. Which I did! He wasn't feeling well because he'd eaten a dodgy oyster the night before but he still partied for ages afterwards and signed autographs outside (I met his three biggest fans, who he called the "Sexless Three" because "They ain't having sex any time soon." LOL correct. The lazy eyed one stared at me like he'd never seen a woman before) and was generally extremely attractive. He told me that Tom Welling is nice and very tall (uh NO WAY RLY?) and that he hung out mostly with Michael Rosenbaum, who has a different kind of chair on set from the rest of the cast: it's covered in leopard skin and says "Fuck Off" on the back of it, and it has a chalk board attached to it so people can write him messages. OH MICHAEL. ♥

This hilarious recounting of her night out with a famous actor last night, by the awesome mediaville, will tickle you all I’m sure: apparently the actors we porn about DO enjoy reading our stories and often tease each other about it. TRUFAX.

~

Office antics...

So we’re all yapping about dyeing our hair and I’m moaning about how it’s all my parents' fault that I need to dye because they both went grey quite young and then Sharan whispers to us that she has one white pube and I say really loudly:

“That’s one thing I don’t have: A WHITE PUBE.”

Student walks in at exactly that moment.

Me: “Hi.”

Student: *embarrassed/amused*

All four of us: LOLOLOLOL.

I have excellent timing.

~

Here is a tasteless poll inspired by a convo I had with radioreverie yesterday and it’s about Tom Welling, but also it will show me how much of a cynic you are.

Tom has been married to his cute wife (Jamie) since 2002; he was 25 when he got married, and he is a notoriously private person so obviously your answers on this poll will be entirely speculative. Please bear in mind that he is insanely hot and undoubtedly gets a lot of offers.

Poll #1126595
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 55

Does Tom cheat on Jamie?

I went out with the girls on Friday night and we accidentally ended up in a bar full of yuppies. I thought yuppies died with the eighties? Apparently not. Also, yuppy men are scared of me and Sharan, because we talk loudly and have actual personalities (unlike yuppy women). At one point I went to the bathroom and this youngish girl with a gallon of foundation on her face started a conversation with me (for no reason) like this: "Yesterday I burned my bum on the sunbed!" I liked her the best.

On Sunday I didn't leave the house at all, and I just watched a bunch of TV (and wrote a bit), which was nice. How adorable is "Batman: The Animated Series"! I have seen the first five episodes and really love how cheesy it is.

I also watched the latest "House", "Gossip Girl" and "Friday Night Lights", all of which I loved. Are we on hiatus now? What's the latest news on the strike?

I'm going to leave you with this picture:

( You can't afford me. )

Thoughts?

No ranting from me today. Just a stupid (but fun) poll about the CW boys. WHOO. Your answers will reveal to me the kind of woman you are.

( A poll about four hot guys. )

~

Another thing I want to talk about is responding to comments. Not everyone is good at it, and there are many reasons why: not enough time; nothing to say; you read it and plan to respond later then you forget (that's always my excuse); other reasons I can't think of right now.

If I'm friends with someone and they don't respond to my comment I don't generally mind, unless it was really long and I felt that it deserved a response, or if they repeatedly ignore me. And I'd actually rather icon makers *not* respond to my comment, because it's not like I'm saying anything, I'm just telling them I'm taking one of their icons and thanks. So a response is always just, "Enjoy!" or whatever, which is boring and unnecessary. I'll probably forget if an author doesn't respond to my feedback (unless, again, it's really long), but if I notice that the author never responds to any feedback, I'll probably not bother leaving any because they do come across to me as if they don't appreciate it that much (which they might! But they're certainly not giving that impression to the general public).

But okay, so can anyone relate when I say that if I leave a comment on a post (that's not fic or icons) in a stranger's journal and they don't respond, I (might) feel some combination of the following:

1. They don't like my comment
2. They don't agree with my comment but don't wish to argue with me
3. They think I'm stupid
4. They dislike me

It's more likely that I'll think one of those things than that I'll think the person is rude, or busy or forgetful. Which I know is absurd but there it is.

Am I all alone?

I must admit, that meme I did yesterday about my personal canon totally freaked me out to begin with. I was all, what have I gotten myself into, and really, WTF DO I KNOW, I AM NOT SMART ENOUGH FOR THIS. But then I relaxed and got into it and it was, like, the most challenging and rewarding meme I've ever done. Yes, my focus was on the characters' sex lives and whatnot, but this is me we're talking about so colour none of you shocked.

*

Recent polls...

You pretty much all agree that episode one of S7 of Smallville will be called "Bizarro". dawnybee believes that if it's not called Bizarro, SV is going to break the mold and give it the following totally classic and appropriate three word title: "Hot Ass Clark". I sure hope she's right.

~

Who's the smartest/dumbest out of MR, TW, JA and JP?

43.2% of you think Michael Rosenbaum is the smartest. I originally voted this way so I'm pleased with this outcome.

Tied in second place is Tom Welling and Jensen Ackles, with 21.1% of the vote each.

Only 14.7% of you think Jared is the most intelligent, and actually, you guys are probably right about that. He might LOOK like a monkey, but with a forehead that enormous he's gotta have a pretty big brain. Right?

Tom cleaned up in the dumbest category, with 47.8% of the vote, and I resent all of you for this. He might be pretty, but he's not a thicky godammit! He's smart enough to stay out of the limelight and protect his privacy at all costs, which (*eyes MR*) you gotta respect.

26.1% think Jared's the dumbest and Mike and Jensen tied with 13%.

WHATEVER FLIST. There is no way in hell Jensen is cleverer than Jared, even if he is the better actor.

Anyway, in that same vain, share your thoughts on personality with me.

( Another poll about boys. )

I might actually die today. I met up with the super lovely nightchik and her delightful lil sister last night for drinks at my local then more drinks back at my place. I had too many drinks. I vaguely remember thinking I needed to throw up when I went to bed last night but I guess I must have passed out instead.

But yes! Fangirl fun was had and there was much laughter and gossip and offers to stay at her place when I visit America. Which will happen I promise. I was going to do NYC this year but I have to go home for Christmas because I haven't been home for a few years and I need to see my family, and Kirsten, and Rehana (who will have just given birth to her first child when I'm there. Normally kids aren't my thing but she's the first of my best friends to get knocked up and I'm surprisingly elated about it. I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE!). Going to New Zealand is very expensive, so I'm hoping *next* year I'll be able to arrange a US trip.

*

SV is downloaded but I will have to watch it tomorrow because I'm going out with tommy_chivs after work for more boozing. The thought of drinking again scares me, but I'm sure I'll be fine.

*

Things that are making me happy, despite being ill:

- I love that the Mary Jane figurine has scandalised fandom to the point that Fox News, Defamer, The New York Post and various other sites and publications are reporting on it. This has become so huge maybe things might actually have to change? I don't know much about comics, but I'm told that this kind of sexism is rampant and most of my comics fangirl friends have become desensitised to it. So while the statue doesn't particularly chap my butt, the reaction to it thrills me. I hope Marvel's face is BURNING RED right about now. Because it's not just the feminists in comics fandom that are aware of this problem. WE ALL KNOW NOW, MARVEL.

- Nandos for lunch.

*

I'm so bored. Work is very quiet and I want to be entertained. So here's a poll:

Poll #987087
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 111

Who's the most intelligent out of these hot guys?

Who's the dumbest?

Happy birthday Tom Welling! I didn't have time to get you a present, but rest assured, you're on my mind. Right now. Why are you naked? OH. You're in your *birthday* suit. I GET IT. *applauds*

Gosh your muscles are so BIG. You're big absolutely everywhere, aren't you. *glances down*

O.O

My that's impressive. Some might say intimidating.

You want to do what? With who?? I had no idea you were such a kinky bisexual! *sweats* And you don't mind if I watch? You're happy for me to FILM IT?

Thank you KINDLY.

Have a great day, suga. STAY HOT.

Love,

Kate

Let’s all just assume that any movie news regarding the not-much anticipated second sequel to Teen Wolf (Teen Wolf 3!) is nonsense. And if it's not, let's just assume that Tom is good friends with the producer or something and has agreed to do a small cameo as a (really big) favour.

I think we should try to remain positive and talk about the things Tom should be doing instead.

radioreverie and I have been discussing what we would do if we were in charge of Tom:

Kate: I'd get him to stay with tv for a start
Kate: in something on HBO maybe
Melissa: ooh
Kate: short seasons, adult content
Melissa: I kind of want him to do at least one, low-key adult movie
Melissa: something indie-ish, maybe based on a book
Melissa: where he gets to be the romantic hero
Kate: yes, he could do indie movies when he's not working on the tv show
Melissa: and then another one where he's like a serial killer or something
Kate: i'd like to see him play a bad guy yes
Kate: he's hot when he's bad
Melissa: totally
Melissa: I wouldn't want him bad on a show though
Melissa: he can only be bad in small doses

I AGREE WITH THIS. He should get himself a good TV show on Showtime or HBO (where nudity and bad language is the norm), so he would get a bit more time off (is that how it works btw? The seasons are shorter so presumably they don’t have to put in as much time?) and then he should start hanging around at Sundance and meeting pretentious art house filmmakers who want to put him in clever, low budget little movies that make critics (and fangirls like me) happy.

Either that or he should embark on a career in gay porn. That would also be fine. (Peen Wolf)

First of all, if you're a picspamer, or even if you just like putting lots of photos in your photobucket account, you have GOT to download Flock. It took me five minutes to upload the following photos and five minutes to add them to this post. This is LIFE CHANGING. Anyone who's ever picspamed knows how time consuming it is. WELL NO LONGER. \o/

Anyway, have some pretty Tommy:

I'm back from Prague. The last week has been horribly stressful for reasons I won't get in to, but Mum not only knows about my hobby now, she's very keen to read one of my stories. HAHA. I don't think so.

Did I mention that I saw The Fog? No amount of knowing how much that movie sucked could have made it suck any less. I feel bad for myself that I'll never get those two hours of my life back. Oh Tommy. You're lucky you're a hotass. (I suppose it was worth it for the nakey scenes, but what was with the shower sex? I hate it when bad film directors try to make sex arty; know your limits and just point the fucking camera at his butt already.) I think Tom needs new representation, or possibly, he needs to actually read scripts before signing up for films. He should just stick to television, actually. After SV, I'd like to see him do something adult and interesting and comedic and with lots of sex scenes.

What's most important at the moment is SMALLVILLE!! JUST OVER A WEEK TO GO OMG. We have lots of cool things planned for Project Smallville: The Countdown, and I hereby encourage everyone to start going CRAZY WITH EXCITEMENT WHOOOOOO!!!! bop_radar has organised everything, so keep your eyes on her journal for details of what's happening. And if you haven't already commented in toadstoolsmiles's post about why you love SV, then get your butts over there now (which is what I will be doing in a few moments).

Oh, and just quickly, who's seen the SV/SPN promo? I normally avoid spoilers but I couldn't resist watching it and I just have to mention the one thing that really made my entire life worth living.


Um, how come it says "Update Captain's Log" down there? WTF? Is that staying? It sounds kind of piratey if you ask me, and as you all know, pirates are the sworn enemy of ninjas and are therefore totally lamecore.

Fuck it, we're getting pumped about Smallville NINJA STYLE.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK, LIVEJOURNAL?

*ROCKS OUT*

ETA: Would anyone be interested in hosting a SV spoiler chat thread in their journal as part of Project Smallville: The Countdown? You'll have to be totally fine with spoilers, obviously. Let me know!

Don't you love it when you type tom welling into google and you find pics you've never seen before? I DO.

I found a bunch of outtakes on tomwelling.com, and they're old but they're GORGEOUS. I also made icons!

Enjoy...

Okay, THESE photos of Tom are making me happy. He's wearing flipflops (HOT GUYS IN FLIPFLOPS ROCK MY WORLD). He's still with Jamie. He's smiling. He has STUBBLE. He's the foxiest thing I've ever seen. And they're from May THIS YEAR.

Also, you might not have seen THESE yet. Thanks to laurab1 for the heads up. He is so perfect I might cry.

In other news, I'm half way through Birthright and I'm in love with it totally and utterly but I won't talk about it until I finish, although I have found two phrases that I plan to use whenever possible:

"That's what's chapping my butt." (Lois) and "For now, let's be content to bask in my genius." (Lex) Aren't they great!

Tell me your favourite quotes! From anything: comics/films/teevee/books/fic.

I AM TIRED BUT IN A GOOD MOOD. *smug*

Um, look! titof has a livejournal! He set it up in January this year but hasn't posted anything yet. POST SOMETHING TITOF. Talk about how much you love sucking cock and what it's like to be French and the sexiest man who ever lived. We will even translate your posts into English! 

GIP. I have my first ever Jamie Bamber icon. It is very sexy and does weird things to me. LOOK AT HIS ARM.

I try to only have about five TV boyfriends at one time, and I'm not overly fickle but it does change. Currently I'm doing:

Tom Welling (with or without the beard I honestly don't care): to hang out at home with and eat donuts.
Michael Rosenbaum: To go out on the town with and meet celebrities. Especially his best friend, Topher Grace, who will have threesomes with us.
Jamie Bamber: To throw me about the bed with his ginormous arms.
Wentworth Miller: To talk to me with his voice and to maybe jerk off while he's doing it. I will take photos.
Titof: To have gay sex in front of me for hours and hours.

Tell me who your boyfriends are and what you like to do with them.

I amuse myself endlessly fyi. I wrote a post last night that I didn't post, because I was all angry and negative and I decided that maybe now isn't the time to be a hater. But thankfully, LJ restored the draft so I can now share it with you:

***

Dear Smallville,

FUCK YOU. I can't believe that there are only TWO commentaries on the S5 boxset. I hoped that was incomplete information but NO. It's true. I am pissed at everybody involved, including the actors.

Bite me,

Kate

***

You know, it's lucky that my boyfriends are hot, because otherwise I'd be dumping their asses right now. It's also lucky that I have many bofriends in reserve. I bet Wentworth will do some Prison Break commentaries. I bet Jared and Jenny will do some SPN commentaries. I bet THEY don't think they're too good to take an hour out of their day to talk about the show that MADE THEM FAMOUS.

They better make it up to me somehow, I swear. I think that Mike and Tom should do an interview together to talk about SV, and they should sit next to each other on a couch, really close, and make jokes and stare at each other and generally just show the world how in love they are. I also think that Tommy should work out and diet and then do a photo shoot as cool as Jensen's and without a shirt on for a lot of it. That would make me forgive them.

Tell me your ideas! What do the boys need to do to make YOU forgive them?

Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

I'm browsing amazon to see when The Fog is getting released here, so I can buy it. SHUTUP. It's not out until the end of June, but then, randomly, I decided to have a look at the American amazon and read a few of the customer reviews and okay, my all time favourite. HEE. Is this:

Four stars
Now, I have seen the original version of "The Fog" at least 5 times and it is one of my favorite John Carpenter classics. However, I must also give the remake credit. Unlike boring remakes like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (why did they even bother), The Fog eschews the blood and guts and goes in for plot and character, much like Carpenter's original. Yep, there's some bloodletting, but there is also a gothic love story that is quite interesting. And, for once, Tom Welling (Smallville), who is totally cute, is playing his own age. Just get out the popcorn and enjoy it. The Fog is old-fashioned horror with special effects that rock.

YAY! I don't think I've read a positive review of The Fog before. I'm so delighted to discover that it's all about character and plot. DELIGHTED! *gets out popcorn*

(I love her description of Tom as "totally cute". Um YEAH. He totally is!)

***

Last night I got a phone call from Rehana, one of my best friends in all the world, who is going to be living here for the next four months. She arrived on Friday and I didn't even know! (Me and my friends totally suck at staying in contact. I'll go for months without speaking to them and then BAM, they turn up in London and I see them and it's like no time has passed.) Her hubby Chris has just finished directing his second feature film in NZ and they're doing the post production here. I plan to get myself invited to lots of celebrity parties where I will hopefully seduce someone rich and powerful, who will take me away from all this (my job) so I can spend all day lounging about, writing porn, watching television, and not doing any housework.

Would you be happy living a life of leisure? A lot of people say they'd get bored, but I reckon, with a limitless supply of money, I'd be FINE.

***

Happy birthday herohunter! Hope you have a fantabulous day babe! *KISS*

It's Monday and I'm on holiday! YAY!

Anyway, I'm going to surprise you all by posting about... wait for it...

Smallville!!!!

Don't judge me, but I decided to watch Spell last night. Then I listened to the commentary, which I hadn't bothered with before.

Go and do this poll about the hottest teevee kisses of the past season. I highly recommend downloading the clips that go with the poll too. I started my day watching five totally sweet makeout sessions and picking the one that turned me on the most. That's my kinda poll.

I watched Lost last night. I'm liking Michelle Rodriguez a lot I have to say, and for some reason I find it hilarious that she's just been done for drink driving and will have to serve prison time.

About yesterday's poll. Most of you think that Tom is vain and spent hours on his look. WHATEVER. I really doubt he cares enough to make the effort. I mean, it's common knowledge that he hates those publicity events, so to me it makes more sense that he accidentally looked that scruffy. Almost all of us would still fuck him, regardless. (SHOCK!)  And actually, most of you like the look, and more of you are indifferent to it than dislike it. INTERESTING.

You want to know some of my favourite Tommy looks?

Well, MPREG Day was a roaring success, and I even managed to read a couple of fics! This is good because really, there's nothing more horrendous to me than the thought of one of my honeys all knocked up. Pregnant men are even worse than ladyboys. I like my men to be MEN. That said, I'm very proud of my mpreg fic, which is the spookiest thing I've written yet, and I can't lie, I find writing really dark material to be super fun! I'm like the Blue Velvet of darkfic. Sunny on the outside and sick and twisted on the in. DON'T MESS WITH ME.

I was supposed to have the house to myself all week right. My new flatmate, Juliet, is a lot like Pete - she travels a lot and keeps odd hours and doesn't watch television, and this suits me FINE. I was very excited about the fact that they're both away all week because Hamish didn't go away at all really, the entire time we lived together. But guess what I forgot all about? Hamish needs a place to stay this week before he heads off to Australia. NEAT. I'm so bummed out about it I could cry. I mean, it'll be fun hanging with Haim again before he fucks off for good, but why *this* week? *pointless moan*

Right! What I want to know is this. Did Tom spend hours on his CW "look" or did he not make the slightest bit of effort. There's a lot of debate about that, so I'm polling to find out once and for all.

( Click here to see what I'm talkin' about )

Poll #734444
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 85

Is he vain?

Would you still have sex with him?

Finally, do we like the look?

My favourite person in the whole world to look at pics of is Tom Welling. Shock!

As you all know, Heat is the sexiest, porniest, hottest episode ever of Smallville, so instead of going into town and running errands (my original plan) I spent a bunch of time fucking about with some of oxoniensis's caps. And now I share!

First though, look how freaking gorgeous he is:

This means I have a new picture on my Beatles calendar to look at and it's a very cute one. The boys are playing their instruments in what looks like a jungle. They are young and super cute and all in black.

If you coulda shagged a Beatle, which one would youa shagged? (I woulda shagged all of them quite frankly, but my first choice would be John.)

There's one thing I will never forgive Friends for. Not YOU guys. The show. That they didn't cast Tom Welling in the role of Tag. WTFF? They've been playing the Tag episodes recently and A) he's NOT GOOD LOOKING (even though he's supposed to be really pretty) and B) He's NOT FUNNY. see, Tommy is both extremely pretty and totally funny. He's also sexy, and I just know he would have made the scenes with Rachel hot. The actor they went with didn't even have any sexual chemistry with JA/Rachel, so I'm just bewildered. Why on earth did he get the job? Tom should have got that job, dammit. I keep imagining it's him when I watch Friends, and he's really good! And HOT! And imagine how cool it would have been for him. To be on FRIENDS. The biggest show ever in the history of EVER! That you kind of have to be a souless humour-void not to enjoy! (Ewan, if you happen to be reading this, I don't mean you. Despite your hatred of Friends you're generally pretty cool.) That role belonged to Tom. I'm outraged on his behalf, and on the behalf of all Welling fans out there. And who I actually feel the most sorry for is Jennifer Aniston. She didn't get to make out with Tommy! She instead, had to make out with crappy!Tag. POOR JENNIFER ANISTON.

Weirdly, I could go on for quite a lot longer about that subject but I won't. I'm drinking bad cheap wine at the moment and it's not even five o'clock. WHAT. I'm on holiday so I'm allowed.

Um. Yeah, I'm posting AGAIN. But that's because it's Tom Welling's birthday and I made him a super special birthday banner which you will all love a lot. Because I am a banner making GENIUS. 

rumpuso kindly reminded me that I needed to temporarily snap out of my Lex trance and write somthing smutty about Tommy on his 29th bday. I then offered to make a banner because it's my thing today. God you guys are gonna flip out over it. SERIOUSLY.


Okay, I'm sorry. I did it in about five minutes because making banners at work will get me in trouble. But hey! I TRIED.

Now to think of something smutty to say...

*cracks knuckles*

At twenty nine, Tom Welling is a very experienced lover. He's done it all. See, I respectfully disagree with all of you who said that Mikey is the kinkiest out of the WB boys. I admit, I initially chose Mike, but then I realised that, of course, Tom is much kinkier.  IMAGINE IT. Can you imagine someone THAT hot fucking you really well and then murmuring in your ear, "how about we spice things up a little." Then he puts you over his knee and spanks your ass with an open palm and it hurts like hell but you're so turned on and so wet and completely at his mercy. He likes being dominant and maybe humiliating his lovers just a little bit. He likes taking pictures of girls (or boys) while they're sucking his cock. Which is so big that when he fucks you it's almost painful.

Okay, now I'm all hot and bothered.

Happy birthday beautiful man. WE LOVE YOU!

First, before I forget again, I need a beta(s) for my smutbox story. It’s RPS starring Tommy and Mike, but also featuring the Js and a few other people from the SV cast. Anyone game?

***

Sorry I didn’t post the Marlena Shaw songs last night. I had a fight with yousendit and yousendit kicked my ass. You’ll get them though, don’t worry.

***

( A rant about Grey’s Anatomy. )

***

I promised Ginger that I’d talk about porn today, so seeing as it’s Friday and everyone’s high on SPN and SV, I have a question about sex and the WB boys.

I was going to ask who the best in bed was but that’s boring because you’ll all just pick your favourite and it won't be objective. This question will force you to be objective. SO.

Who likes to get up to slightly crazy shit in bed? Who's the most adventurous? Who's the *filthiest*? Who loves sex so much that they'll do pretty much *anything*?

Poll #714254
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 82

Who's the kinkiest boy?

Tom Welling has the biggest cock! It's been proved! By our very own kristiinthedark HERE.

Frankly I don't really know. I mean, I voted for Tom but there's hard evidence that Mike is also MASSIVE. This morning I fantasised about having a threeway with both boys and neither disappointed. Also, I made them kiss and they got really into it and I got to watch.

ANYWAY.

I wonder if the boys have ever had a threesome with a fangirl. I BET THEY HAVE. They seem so comfortable with each other, and Mike is outrageously flirtatious with Tommy. See, as cute as Jared and Jenny are about each other: "I wuv him, he's like my bwover." And it's so SWEET. (Personally I think Jared's more secksually attracted to Mayhem, but that's just me. o.O) But MIKE right. He's like "Tom's hot. Tom's goodlooking. Tom, you're so sexy and hot and wet and naked." And Tom's like, "I'm Michael Rosenbaum, I play Lex Luthor," because Tom loves Mike so much he wants to BE Mike. And then, like, okay, then Mike and Tom try to think up a way that they can have sex with each other so they say, "let's seduce a fangirl and take her home and show her a night she'll never forget." And then they seduce me and show me a night I'll never forget and then they have sex with each other in front of me and I FILM IT! And then I sell it on Ebay for a million dollars and everyone in the whole world is jealous of me. \o/

My celebrity sex fantasies are also money fantasies it seems. STAY AWAY FROM ME BOYS. 

Tell me your celebrity sex fantasies! And make them good and weird. Because it's NOT REAL PEOPLE! YAY!

We have ANTS in my house. I fucking HATE ants. I left New Zealand to get AWAY from insects. I didn't even know you guys HAD ants in the UK. It's too cold isn't it? And the little fuckers are so fucking difficult to get rid of. One ant? I can handle. But there's never just one is there. They hang around in packs and they're sneaky. I vacuumed some up the other day and Hamish claimed that it wouldn't kill them and that now we have ants crawling around inside our vacuum cleaner. Please tell me he's insane and that there's no way an ant would survive that kind of trauma. *deep frown*

And now for something completely different.

I thought I was the queen of difficult polling right? NOT SO. I've never had a problem doing my own polls. But yesterday, amandajane5 posted a poll I literally COULDN'T DO.

She wanted to know who our favourite SPN and SV boys were, and yeah, Jared wins for SPN, but I honestly could not choose between Tommy and Mike. Seriously, I couldn't do it. If I chose Mike it'd be like I was betraying Tom and vice versa. I AM OFFICIALLY CRAZY. 

See, I think most of you have a favourite. Are there any of you out there like me? Who loves them both equally to the point where they can't do a *fun harmless poll*?

I spent my walk to work pondering and comparing and allocating points. Maybe youse fullahs can help decipher my system and let me know if I have a favourite (though I swear, I will NEVER DO THAT POLL NEVER. What if it got back to one of them? And then I met them and they were pissed about it? WHAT ABOUT THAT?)

• Tom is more photogenic.
• But Mike is a better actor.
• Clark has a bigger cock.
• But Lex has the sexiest voice ever.
• They're both porn stars and they're both naked in my head an EQUAL AMOUNT.
• Lex is way smarter but Clark is way stronger.
• They aren't complete without the other. You can't have Clark without Lex and you can't have Lex without Clark. They complete each other. JUST LIKE IN JERRY MAGUIRE.
• "You had me at *coughsplutter* 'why the fuck aren't you dead?'"
• They're both as filthy as each other.
• Although, that said, Clark likes to, ahem, felch. And yeah, Lex *would* do it, but I don't think he'd love it quite as much as Clark does.
• Clark has almost no recovery time and can get hard after coming pretty much straight away.
• But Lex can fuck for a lot longer before coming.
• I'm marginally more sexually attracted to Tommy than Mike, but I also fancy Lex more than Clark.
• Except, of course, when Clark's on red K.
• Mike seems like the most fun, crazy person ever and he and I would be good friends if we met.
• Tom, I'd just like to fuck a lot.

I think I'd better stop there before I develop a tumour. So now, I collate all the points and they get five billion points each and it's a TIE. *sigh*

Add to my list people! What am I forgetting? WHO DOES KATE LOVE MOST?

I haven't been able to stop thinking about that MR interview where he said: "On my one day off in Vancouver, on a rainy, foggy day -- no pun intended -- I went and saw 'The Fog.' When Tom was in the shower scene, I called him. I go, 'Tom, I'm halfway through your movie, dude. You look so hot in the shower.' " 

And then there was:  "I'm very supportive. And Tom saw me in 'Sorority Boys' four times."

Why aren't you RPS people going nuts about that? COME ON. That's GOLD. It certainly couldn't have come at a better time for me because I'm writing a smutbox story about those two and now I have proof that A) Mikey thinks Tom looks hot wet and naked (of course he thinks so, he's got eyes) and B) Tommy will sit through a shitty movie FOUR times just to see Mike dresssed as a girl. I haven't seen either film, btw, but I know for a fact that they both SUCK. That's love people.

To celebrate, here are some pics of my favourite pretty boy, sent to me by a lovely friend of mine, who prefers to remain anonymous.


Me and Caroline were talking to one of the coolest professors in our department, Madan, about this other guy who's like a visiting academic and we don't like him at all because he's creepy and we told Madan something he'd said and I was like, "Yeah, there was no reason to say it. It was weird. He's weird." And Madan goes, "He's not weird, he's a pervert." We laugh and Madan says, "Weird are the people you can't explain."  I like that.

PS. Has anyone heard from Becky? I'm getting kinda worried.

The results of the poll were FASCINATING. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. And of course, you now realise, that because of archiving and whatnot and the fact that my journal isn’t flocked, your kinks are now public knowledge FOREVER.

I’d deeply sorry that I forgot to include a number of classic kinks, like fingering, incest, underage sex (which, hello SV and Harry Potter fandoms, is HOT), virgins, cunnilingus, genderswap etc etc.

Anyway! To celebrate I’m going to post a whole bunch of pretty pictures of Tommy, because he’s the prettiest, kinkiest, sexiest, filthiest, bestest porn star of all. And I think these are all pics I’ve never posted in my journal before. I found most of them here.

Ooh, and I even captioned. Because I am nice.

My colleague Caroline got engaged a few months ago and the wedding is next February and she talks about it ALL THE TIME. Don't get me wrong, it's great and she's a good friend of mine and I'm happy for her and yadda yadda yadda but OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR BRIDESMAIDS' DRESSES I'M SINGLE.

Otherwise, I'm in a good mood. It's SV day today and I'm giddy with excitement. GIDDY. Tonight I will write porn and watch SV and not leave the house and I have the house to myself too which is even better.

And now, a poll. A cruel poll.

( Suits of steel )

I feel a little embarrassed about picspaming you again, but fuck it. It's way easier than being interesting or smart. Hell, you're lucky to get ANYTHING AT ALL FROM ME today, because it's Monday and it's gloomy outside and the only thing I have to look forward to is Smallville tonight on TV!!!! So, in fact, you might well be hearing from me again later. Because the episode is Mortal. You know, the one where Clark roughs up Lex, gets all turned on by it and then goes and fucks Lana? Don't worry if you don't remember - pics to come!

( OMG he's the prettiest man in the whole world! *dies* )

 

Tom Welling is SOOOOOO beautiful.

When I first saw SV, years back, I didn't like it at all. I thought, with the exception of MR and AM, that it was really badly cast (and, you know, totally retarded). How could I take Clark seriously when he looked like that? Clearly, he was cast because of his looks, not his talent. Pretty boys have never done it for me (it was Lex all the way back then). And Lana sucked so hard and I was obsessed with Buffy, so SV was just a big joke in my eyes. Well, the joke, I guess, is on me.

Because of fandom and you crazy people, I have developed an obsession with both Smallville and Tom Welling. I don't give a flying fuck whether he can act or not. He is SO. BEAUTIFUL. As Ronnie pointed out, Tom's the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my entire life.

( No really. He is. LOOK. )

Lex Luthor is SOOOOOO sexy.

I'm all about being fair, so I can't post about the hotness of Tom without posting about the hottness of Lex (I find Lex much sexier than Mike, fyi, although I adore Mike to pieces and would still like to have lots of sex with him).

See, I ALWAYS found Lex attractive. His cleverness and attitude and arrogance and the fact that he looks amazing bald are just a few of the reasons why.

( Lex screencaps, all from Commencement, all by Oxoniensis )

Anyway, they're BOTH distractingly hot. Sometimes I can't even *concentrate* on SV because of all the overwhelming hotness on display. Huh, weird. I'm horny now.

They just showed the finale of SV S4 on tv here, because S5 starts tomorrow night! And what's weird is that, even though I've already seen all the episodes, I'm still excited. And I plan to watch them all again, every Monday night, at 9pm, with the ads and everything.

S4 Finale. Wow, really sucks ass. S5 is so much better. But in the interests of remaining shallow, I have to point out something that you might, for whatever reason, not have noticed: Lex looks incredibly hot throughout the entire episode. Lilac is a good colour on him, and when he's angry, this sexy vain pops out of the side of his head, and it makes me want him to be mad at me and then fuck me sideways.

Also, Lana with tar and blood dripping down her face, her leg fucked up, dragging herself through the mud with claw-like hands, is definitely my favourite look on her.

Now, you all need to watch this, if you haven't seen it already. It's HYSTERICAL. And if you love Tom Welling as much as I do, you are going to *die* when you watch it.

He's so beautiful

I found these pics of Tom on a net search this morning, so I could post a picture in my comment in toadstoolsmiles 's recent comment thread. And holy crap they made my day. So I posted them here, then I realised that I could post even more pics of Tom here too, which I've now gone and done. Check out His Gorgeousness behind the cut.

( *stares and drools (and giggles)* )