I now feel that I can post again, because I've replied to comments, and the worst (and by worst I mean busiest) few weeks of work I've ever had are finally over.

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Obviously I need to drop some shows, because A) I don't have the same kind of time I used to, B) I am watching a few things that blow and C) I will, as always, pick up a number of new shows this fall, because I'm going to university I'm not having a personality transplant.

So! The first show to go is Gossip Girl, which I've spoken about previously - I haven't watched the first episode and I don't intend to, lest I get sucked in to that stylish black hole of inanity once more. I'm feeling good about this decision.

Next in the crapper is Merlin. Yes I watched the first episode. No I can't believe I made it through the first series. It's so bad it makes Gossip Girl look like The Wire.

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On the bright side, The X Factor is very exciting this year - I like a lot of singers from the auditions, although I'd say that overall the boys are more interesting than the girls. There are at least five guys I'm psyched about (no girl has made much of an impression on me), although Danyl, my original favourite from episode 1, is still the one I want to win.

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I have fallen hard for Community and recommend you all watch the pilot. It's funny, smart and very, very cool.

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The Emmys contain no real surprises so I'm not even going to comment on them except to say ( spoiler! )

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Stephanie Zacharek hated Jennifer's Body quite a lot, and she dislikes Megan Fox quite a lot, and I don't really know what to do about that except say that I am still going to see it dagnabit and I hope this will be one of those rare occasions where I disagree with her.

I enjoyed 500 Days of Summer because of the wondrous Joseph Gordon Levitt, who is so charming he makes everyone around him less charming than they otherwise might be. If they ever put him in a film with James McAvoy my head will explode. My main problem with the film was ( spoilers!! )

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The True Blood finale was boring, but while Eric is in it I will continue to watch.

I have decided to ship Zac Efron with Megan Fox, even though some gossip I read recently suggested that poor Vanessa Hudgens is jealous of their "friendship".

( Proof of jealousy )

Or maybe they can be my new ot3?



According to the internet their celebrity power name will be Megafron. Perfect.

A lot of Megan Fox fans really hate Brian Austin Green and wish she was with Shia Lebouf instead, which is weird to me because BAG is super hot and Shia is a dweeb.

( Proof of this. )

Not that it matters who Megan used to date because from now on we are going to be rooting for her budding relationship with the Zef.

( Supporting evidence )

Plus quotes to support my position:

"I'm obsessed with him," she told a Page Six spy.

"What you don't know is that Zac and I are the same person. It's like Janet and Michael [Jackson], we are the same person."

And:

During an interview for her new film 'Jennifer's Body', in which she plays a cheerleader who literally eats men, Megan revealed that in real life she'd love to take a bite out of 'High School Musical' hunk Zac Efron!

"I think he'd taste like a strawberry cupcake!" Fox said.

It's so on!

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I haven't talked much about TV lately but I've been watching a ton of it. I've seen the Leverage Pilot (♥Aldis Hodge♥); the unaired Dollhouse pilot (far superior to the aired one) and the unaired 13th episode (not that good! It made me feel like I'd been horribly spoiled for the ending of the show); Hung (I can't get enough of Tanya, such a downtrodden, sweet-natured pimp, such an optimistic, weary loser); Weeds (funny); True Blood (I'm an episode behind now but I'm loving this season); and best of all, I'm halfway through season 3 of Rescue Me. Which I love more than anything. I can't believe I waited so long for this and rest assured once I'm done with it I'll be downloading the rest and catching up because it's amazing. I don't know when I started finding Dennis Leary sexy (I used to hate him) but there is something about him that does it for me now. The relentless sarcasm?

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I'm off to New Zealand tomorrow! I have never needed a holiday so badly in my entire life. My health is not great at the moment: I have (seemingly) undiagnosable abdominal problems, which I am starting to suspect are stress related. I can't wait to see my mum and dad, and Kirsten, and I'm looking forward to David and Hannah's wedding, and my dad's 70th birthday, and sitting by the fire (it's winter there), and eating home grown veggies, and drinking gorgeous wine (in moderation, of course), and watching lots of movies, and relaxing. I'm going to miss Charlie terribly though.

Thanks to serenography for alerting me to this trailer because it is absolutely the best thing I've ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE, no exaggeration, and if you watch it and are not then totally psyched out of your mind about this film, you probably ought to see a doctor.

Exclusive! The Red Band Trailer for Jennifer's Body!

Look at the freaking cast! Megan Fox (OH GOD I WORSHIP YOU), Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody, Kyle Gallner, Chris Pratt, JK SIMMONS (who's not in the trailer but whatever), and it's written by Juno scribe Diablo Cody, and it's about MEGAN FOX (spoiler alert) KILLING BOYS. THAT IS AWESOME.

Am I a fool for believing a trailer? YES PROBABLY BUT I DON'T CARE. THIS FILM CAN'T POSSIBLY NOT BE GREAT.

Yesterday I watched two terrible movies:

"Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" because it's Megan Fox's first film. Avoid like the plague. It's like, you think with a title like that it would be passably amusing, mindless fun, but in reality it's deeply unfunny, mindless drivel. I WANT MY TWO HOURS BACK. (Megan was cute though.)

Then I watched "Pulse" because I'm a Kristen Bell fangirl who apparently must watch every shitty film she's ever made (including "Fanboys") even though I'm not like that. Normally I don't care enough about actors I like to watch their suckiest endeavours, and actually, I will never ever watch Kristen's episodes of Heroes so maybe I haven't changed after all and I was only bored. "Pulse" was kind of awesomely bad though, in that I found it highly entertaining (and quite scary in places!) even while it was being embarrassing.

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I am working my way through Catherine Breillat's oeuvre, because I love her take on male/female relationships and that her films often feature explicit sex: in fact, "Romance" and "Anatomy of Hell" both star porn legend Rocco Siffredi, and yes, we do get to see plenty of his magnificent, hard penis, which Breillat clearly admires greatly. Now, this is a man who also stars in a series of pornos called "Animal Trainer", which are as brutal and misogynistic as they sound (I watched part of one a few years ago and found it traumatising) so I never imagined I would find him attractive, but in Breillat's films he's interesting and sexy (although his French accent is horrific).

( Anatomy of Hell got dire reviews but I found it riveting. The story is simple: a depressed, beautiful woman pays a handsome gay man to spend four nights watching her... )

This is why I have nothing but love for the delicious Megan Fox. I seriously flip out with love for her every time I read snippets from her interviews, so you can imagine my joy when I saw that Jezebel had compiled her "50 Best (& Worst) Bon Mots". Haters to the left, this young woman is hilarious, intelligent, frank and refreshingly inappropriate.

A few of my favourites:

"Well let me tell you what [High School Musical] is really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved. You have to get stoned to watch it." - Esquire, June 2009

"Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months... Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie. I lost, like, 30 pounds. I was like, 'I'm losing weight for the movie'. I was telling myself I was being method (method acting), which was so outrageous and ridiculous and not true." - British GQ, July 2009

"I really enjoy having sex, and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who've said, 'You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!' That's because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them." - FHM, 2008

LOLOLOL. Also, hi. GUH:

( I'd be friends with her! )