Hamish and I are friends again and we spent the whole weekend hanging out and watching movies and stuff. We made peace in the sweetest way possible. Over Smallville. See, Onyx was on tv on Friday and I was like, ooh this is the best episode ever and he was all, “really? I’m never drinking again. Let’s watch it.” So we did and Lex is very very hot when he’s bad (which Hamish agreed with. Sort of) and it’s also the gayest episode of season 4. Why doesn’t Clark want to join with evil Lex though? Is he retarded?
My friend Michelle came over last night and she’s one of those people who doesn’t think a film is good unless it’s depressing – which I so don’t understand – so we had to rent a gloomy movie to keep her happy or whatever. Just an aside about this. What the fuck is up with people who like films that aren’t enjoyable? Depressing movies, um, they *depress* me. You guys who like them, what’s up with that? Do they make you feel better about your own lives or something? Anyway, I took the opportunity to get out a film I’d been meaning to see because it got good reviews but which I hadn’t really wanted to see because I knew it would be a big downer.
Mean Creek is the movie and the only thing I’ll tell you about it is that Ryan from Smallville is in it! He’s very tall now but otherwise he plays basically the same character, except in Mean Creek he has two gay dads (oh wait a minute) and people actually call him faggot to his face.
Speaking of homosecksuality, I read this weeeeeeird thing the other day, that suzycat linked to claiming that slash isn’t gay and we’re not allowed to say it is anymore. WOW.
So I don't really know very much about the history of slash but I did start to think about Smallville and Clark and Lex and how they’re, um, TOTALLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER.
Like, you know, how, like, they love sucking cock for instance. And ass fucking is their favourite thing. LIKE THAT. And how they’re completely in love with each other as well. I don’t know about you, but that screams GAY to me. Okay, they don’t take part in Pride, but that’s because Lex is a politician and he’s not stupid. Also, Lex likes fucking women so he’s more of a bisexual, but Clark? He can’t even pop a boner for Lana who’s apparently the girl of his dreams, so YOU TELL ME.
So in the interests of gaying up slash (hrm) let's talk about what giant homos our favourite boys are. All fandoms.
I'll start (with Smallville because it's my only fandom and it's easily the gayest). Oh yeah, and I know I said a while ago that Clark isn't gay but I've changed my mind. I let the facts speak for themselves. Anyway, here's two points off the top of my head. Blinding proof if ever there was some.
1. Clark gets pissy and upset with Lex all the time, because he's a BIG GIRL.
2. Lex is very well dressed.
Now you go!