PS. Thank you anonymous rose giver number 2. I love you!!
I love American television so very much. This is, as you know, because I’m shamelessly shallow and I far prefer seeing attractive people on my screen and American television is full of amazingly attractive people. GOD. These are all shows I watch (with a few exceptions) so sorry if your show isn’t on the list. Again, feel free to post your own pics in the comments and make my day!
Sydney Bristow; Michael Vaughn; Eric Weiss; Irina Derevko; Jack Bristow; Julian Sark; Will Tippin (Jennifer Garner; Michael Vartan; Greg Grunberg; Lena Olin; Victor Garber; David Anders; Bradley Cooper)
There’s probably nobody I *wouldn’t* have sex with in Alias. Okay, I wouldn’t fuck Marshall or Sloane, but I’d definitely hang out with them.
Dude. Sydney Bristow is SO HOT. Her *body* is just the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
And she’s so damn cool as well.
I can’t believe he left the show (got fired, whatever). I haven’t seen S5 yet but I’ve always loved Vaughn, always. I love his relationship with Syd because it’s so freaking romantic. I always *believed* in their love for one another. Of course, that’s not what this picspam is all about so I’ll just quickly mention the most important thing about Vaughn. He’s HOT.
And so full of angst. *strokes Vaughn’s hair*
Hello, Sark. You evil, sexy bastard. How much did we want Sark and Sydney to get busy? THIS MUCH.
He oozes sex.
Yep. I’d fuck Weiss too.
And Will! I miss Will. I *love* Will. And he and Sydney (who basically has chemistry with all men it seems. Seriously. Jennifer Garner has that Michael Rosenbaum quality – whoever she’s playing against, it just *works*. I mean, look at these next pics…
GUH. The Syd/Will kisses were totally erotic, man. They shoulda had a lot more sex than they did.
Irena Derevko is the foxiest, sleekest, most mysterious character EVER and she’s *gorgeous* and she totally saved season 4 and if it hadn’t been for her, I might have, um, given up on the show altogether (God S4 sucked ass).
Lookit how insanely beautiful she is.
And of course, then there’s Jack. It might not come through in photos but Jack is the sex. Everyone loves Jack.
Angel; Cordelia Chase; Charles Gunn; Julie Benz; Lilah Morgan; Lindsey McDonald; Wesley Wyndam-Price (David Boreanaz; Charisma Carpenter; J. August Richards; Darla; Stephanie Romanov; Christian Kane; Alexis Denisof)
David Boreanaz got progressively less hot as the show went on. Too many nights at the playboy mansion methinks, and not enough dieting and working out (which, sorry, I demand of my hot guys on tv because dammit, eye candy is important to me and to everyone). But he still makes it onto the list because he was still sexy in the first two seasons.
Anyway, check out Cordelia. OMG. Okay, I’ve totally cheated – these are photos of Charisma Carpenter, not Cordelia Chase, but fuck me, they’re so hot you have to see them. And besides, I think with TV characters it’s different. Charisma will always be Cordelia to me.
Look at her! Those *thighs*. Jesus.
Aw. Angel and Cordy. Not that I ship them. YUCK.
And now Julie Benz, er, Darla.
Aw, Darla and Dru. Not that I ship them. YUCK.
Darla and Lindsey. I don’t ship them but Lindsey is delectable.
I sort of found Gunn hot, so he gets one pic.
Wesley I definitely found hot, so he gets a few more…
Aw, Welsey and Lilah. I TOTALLY SHIP THEM.
Lilah is evil and hot.
Capt. Lee 'Apollo' Adama; Dr. Gaius Baltar; Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace; Number 6 (Jamie Bamber; James Callis; Katee Sackhoff; Tricia Helfer)
One of my new favourite shows and okay, MY GOD, Gaius and Six are SO FUCKING HOT TOGETHER. I mean, I can’t even like *believe* it sometimes. And THEN. So are Starbuck and Apollo. There’s a lot of sexiness in BSG. A really lot.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy Summers; Angel; Cordelia Chase; Faith; Rupert Giles; Spike; Willow Rosenberg; Anya (Sarah Michelle Gellar; David Boreanaz; Charsima Carpenter; Eliza Dushku; Anthony Head; James Marsters; Alyson Hannigan; Emma Caulfield)
Ah, my first love. Buffy will always be number one in my heart because, unlike Smallville, it’s a truly remarkable show. And not only that, every character in it is gorgeous and fuckable.
First, Buffy, of course:
Okay, Angel is the prettiest vampire in the world. Seriously. Those early seasons of Buffy before he porked up and oh jesus he was incredible to look at back then. I love these two together.
Xand and Cordy, awwww.
Cordy (again just quickly)…
Giles. The sexiest librarian to ever walk the planet.
Spike and Dru…
This is Spike and Buffy fucking. If I had been involved in fandom back when I was obsessed with Buffy I would have been writing smut about these two. They are, without a shadow of a doubt, the hottest pairing ever (after Clex). Because they were a hot pairing well before it became canon, and then they were as hot as we could have hoped for when it actually *did* become canon. I mean, that episode of Buffy (Smashed), contains one of the most erotic sex scenes I’ve ever seen EVER. *points wildly at picture*
Spike is pushing up Buffy’s skirt. They’re in a club, on the balcony, looking down at everyone dancing, and he’s about to start fucking her from behind.
He’s inside her now.
That’s Spike fucking Buffy. Again. GOD.
Let’s not forget Faith, the other insanely hot slayer.
Faith and Angel. So wrong yet so hot.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Gil Grissom; Greg Sanders; Nick Stokes; Sara Sidle; Warrick Brown (William L. Peterson; Erix Szmanda; George Eads; Jorja Fox; Gary Dourdan)
I wanna be a CSI! I had no idea it was so glamorous. I mean, really, the cast of CSI (not the spinoffs, the original, the spinoffs can burn in hell for all I care) are just so very very attractive.
Grissom would so get it, especially before he grew a beard
I don’t normally go for square headed men but Nick is very sexy because he’s clever and he’s got a great accent.
Greg. God he’s just ADORABLE.
Max Guevera; Logan Cale (Jessica Alba; Michael Weatherly)
Okay, not all of these are exactly Dark Angel pics but who cares! Because WOW.
These two are totally hot. Specially Alba.
Benton Fraser; Ray Kowlaski; Ray Vecchio (Paul Gross; Callum Keith Rennie;
Don’t watch it but I know I have at least one Due South fan on my flist (*grins and waves*) so this is for you…
Dr. Douglas Ross; Dr. John Carter (George Clooney; Noah Wyle)
Yep. George is on here AGAIN.
Carter was my favourite…
Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds; Dr. Simon Tam; Inara Serra; Kaylee Frye;
Zoe Washburne (Nathon Fillion; Sean Maher; Morena Baccarin; Jewel Staite; Gina Torres)
Joss does it again. Another show full of hotasses.
Mal is definitely one of my many tv boyfriends.
Cause, you know…
LOOK HOW SEXY HE IS.
Simon’s cute too…
And the girls… The girls are HOT…
Dr. Gregory House; Dr. Eric Foreman; Dr. Lisa Cuddy; Dr. Robert Chase (Hugh Laurie; Omar Epps; Lisa Edelstein; Jesse Spencer)
Everybody’s favourite bitching cripple! *loves*
WHY IS HE SO SEXY? WHY?
The L Word
Marina Ferrer; Shane McCutcheon (Karina Lombard; Katherine Moennig)
Man, this show is possibly the most erotic programme on television. Consciously erotic, I mean, and yeah, The L Word does sex – and a lot of it - better than any other show I can think of. My two favourite dykes are Marina and Shane, because I would SO turn for either of them. Seriously. Check out how hot.
Dr. Jack Shephard; James "Sawyer" Ford; Kate Austen (Matthew Fox; Josh Holloway; Evangeline Lilly)
I’m getting bored with captioning, can’t you tell? Jack, Sawyer, Kate…
Marissa Cooper; Ryan Atwood; Seth Cohen; Summer Roberts (Mischa Barton; Benjamin McKenzie; Adam Brody; Rachel Bilson)
I’m not in love with the pairings on the OC. Summer and Seth are repetitive and boring. Hold up. So are Marissa and Ryan. But there’s no denying the hotness of these four characters.
Pride and Prejudice
Mr Darcy (Colin Firth)
Hell, Firth’s Darcy inspired whatsherface to write Bridget Jone’s Diary which then got made into a movie which means we got Darcy played by Firth TWICE. Although he only went swimming and got all wet in Pride and Prejudice, so Pride and Prejudice wins.
Michael Scofield; Dr. Sara Tancredi (Wentworth Miller; Sarah Wayne Callies)
My life is ALL about Wentworth Miller, I swear. He OWNS me. Prison Break just rocks so hard and it’s all because of him. I mean FUCK. He is perfect.
Queer as Folk
Stuart Alan Jones (Aidan Gillen)
I haven’t seen the US version of this show, but the British version absolutely knocked our socks off and mostly because of Stuart, the sexually magnetic slutbag who no one could resist.
Sex and the City
Charlotte York; Samanthan Jones (Kristin Davis; Kim Catrell)
Every guy I know thought Charlotte was the sexiest of the SATC girls. And I have to agree.
More like a gay man than a woman, with the biggest, most indiscriminate sexual appetite in the history of ever but DUDE. She got away with it because she was cool AND hot. And how pleased was I when she ended up with Smith!
Clark Kent; Lex Luthor; Chloe Sullivan; Lana Lang; Lois Lane (Tom Welling; Michael Rosenbaum; Allison Mack; Kristin Kreuk; Erica Durance)
Well OBVIOUSLY, this is the hottest show ever. I mean, it’s off the freaking SCALE and I can’t even. I don’t even think I have much to say on the matter other than, uh, LOOK AT THE OVERWHELMING HOTNESS. LOOOOOOK.
Fuck it. I have a few things to say. Clark Kent is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. That MOUTH. Those HANDS. The EYES. The HAIR. The EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM.
Let’s start with Clark in a suit because, as my recent poll proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, Clark in a suit is the best thing that’s ever happened.
More classic sexy Clarkcaps…
Oh please. That’s not even fair.
I love shots of Clark orgasming:
Then there’s Lex Luthor and who knew bald could be so fucking ridiculously off the scale out of control hot and sexy? WHO KNEW NOT ME. But there’s nothing NOT hot and sexy about Lex. He’s smarter than everyone, he’s dark and damaged, he powerful (which is always attractive) and we know he’s only going to get *more* powerful. He’s morally ambiguous and God MR just has such wicked sexual chemistry with everyone he plays opposite (especially Tom Welling *g*) and his VOICE. GOD. It’s impossible not to think about sex whenever he talks. I really do not know how Clark has not ravished him yet. (It’ll happen I just know it I have faith in these two they’ll work it out *weeps*)
You know what? This is too hard for me because there are SO MANY gorgeous, hot caps to choose from and I just want to post all of them and I can’t because I left SV till last and it’s almost *too* big a job, so here are some choice examples from a couple of the sexiest episodes, in chronological order and they include Chloe, Lois and Lana as well, because hell, everyone on the show is foxy and porny and fuckable.
OMG, Lana, Chloe and Lois…
Star Trek Next Gen
Lt. Commander/Commander Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis)
I’m sneaking Deanna Troi in here because my friend Tom thinks she’s the SEX. That awful, awful non-uniform leotard that she had to wear for so many years, which left zilch to the imagination, and not in a flattering way, and yet… she still looked saucy.
Star Trek Voyager
Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan)
Ditto one pic of Seven of Nine. Because YOWZERS.
Dr. Rodney McKay; Major/Lt. Colonel John Sheppard (David Hewlett; Joe Flanigan)
What the hell do I know about SGA? Nothing, that’s what. Personally I hate the show (even though I’ve never watched more than half an episode of it). HOWEVER. A lot of people out there are under the impression that the cast is, like, *attractive* or some such thing, so yeah, they’re on the list. Well, John and Rodney are because… they’re the ones I chose. The end.
Now, I actually did plan to caption everything in this picspam really thoroughly, but that wasn’t possible because I’m not made of time. But the SGA pics will be captioned, although not by me. I gathered some data the other day from a few lovely SGA fans on my flist, and I’m quoting them here…
slodwick: Above and beyond the fact that Joe Flanigan is hot like burning? John Sheppard is the perfect sort of leading man hero-type, in the same vein for me as Han Solo; he's laid back and snarky, but when the shit hits the fan, he's at the front of the pack, ready to throw down. He's smart, but doesn't like to make a big deal of it. He's got a great sense of humor, and a hot, lazy smile. He's a pilot, so he can fly helicopters, jets and spaceships, and he's a soldier, so he knows his way around a gun or a knife. He knows people, and can charm just about anyone when he puts his mind to it.
elandrialore: He's fantastically gorgeous and there's something indefinably hot about a guy who can be so beautiful and charming and affable and then can pick up a very big gun and kick someone's ass. I think he's got the cutest damn facial expressions ever and he's got a lovely drawling voice that makes you think he's going to take his time and do *everything* right. Of course he could also just pick you up and pin you against the wall, which is a fascinating thought as well.
sori1773: John Sheppard? What's NOT to love!? SQUEE. Forearms and the sexy smirk and the hidden depths and the surprising level of intelligence (MENSA!). And put him in the sunglasses, give him a big gun with the tight-black tee shirt and...guh. *is shallow* I love that he's a military man with a passion for disobeying orders, that he sometimes acts before he thinks b/c at heart, Sheppard is fearless and selfless.
slodwick: Rodney is by turns snarky and clever and arrogant and selfless and brusque and heroic. He's a genius, and he's not afraid to make sure everyone knows it, and while he's sometimes a jerk, he'll totally step up and risk his life for his team when necessary, and he saves the day more often than not. I find his sort of reluctant hero to be very sexy.
gorgon_mythos: Rodney McKay is the sexy that comes slowly and grows on you. It's the character's intelligence, snark, unwilling/willing heroic moments- those appeal to you first before you start noticing blue eyes, buff arms, great voice.
elandrialore: I love the way he talks. Not necessarily the words that he says--though I do very much enjoy his snarkiness--but the way his words almost trip over each other to get out. I love the way he uses his hands to talk. Or uses his hands at all, though I don't have any words to explain why I find that so attractive. I love how massively intelligent he is and how he doesn't expect more of anybody else than he does of himself. I love how staggeringly brave he is. I love his eyelashes--don't ask, I can't explain that one either--his mouth--it's just crooked and adorable--he's got fantastic arms and shoulders, and quite a nice butt. I can tell you that I want to nibble on his neck and lick up his side and tell you he's all sorts of hot but like most people, you can't see it until you see it. There's no real way to define his sexiness, he just *is*.
yavannauk: The snark - sharp-edged sarcasm does it for me every time. Physically it would be his eyes (and the eyelashes, just insanely guh!), his hands and arms (he talks with his hands and I love that), his neck and he has a very fine rear end too!
Dean Winchester; Sam Winchester (Jensen Ackles; Jared Padalecki)
I’m actually *not* going to talk about incest alright? The show is hot without me bringing up incest. (And actually, for *me*, it’s hotter if they’re just brothers, because eek, the last thing those boys need is to mess their lives up any more than they’re already messed. I am such a square). I would, however, like to see them fuck a lot more women, because SPN doesn’t contain nearly enough sex. And HELLO WORLD, Dean is about the prettiest, sexiest, funniest dude ON TELEVISION and Sammy? Well, my heart belongs to Sammy, who’s almost as porny as Tom Welling. What with his voice and his tallness and his intensity and, yeah, I’m not going to caption these pics because OMG if I never have to caption another picspam AGAIN I’ll die happy. (Just kidding – I love captioning!) Shutup. Look at the lovely boys!!!!
And that’s all, folks. I hope your Valentine’s Day contains more sex than mine will! ♥