I accidentally found myself on a blind date last night. And I'd like to make it very, very clear that I don't DO blind dates.
So how did it happen?
Well. My friend Linda (who I went to high school with and who's just moved back to NZ after living here in London for a year or so) emailed me THIS:
Hey, before I left the UK I caught up with a friend of mine called
Daniel, and I was sitting there at dinner thinking how you guys would
get on....I would say as friends, I'm not playing cupid here....as
much as I am sure you'd want me too! But anyways, he's warm and funny
and very English and good fun. Easy company. I met him travelling.
He's up for hooking up with you if you felt like it... he likes
meeting new people who think a little outside the square. He told me
to give you his email address.... so here it is. Do with it what you
Right, so I think, cool, why the hell not, I'm not too old to make new friends after all. I email him and he's super, super keen to meet up and one of those people who won't just let the conversation lie, even when my emails clearly didn't require a response. And then at the end of last week, he sends me THIS:
How's your week going?
Even though it’s a short week, I’m so looking forward to the weekend!!
I'm sorry, but that's so inane I refuse to respond. Also, we haven't even MET yet. Don't make small talk with me over email, you boring twat. Anyway.
Within ten minutes of meeting he mentions something about the last time he was on a date and I say, "Is this a date?" And he says that Linda had given him that impression. I refer you to her email to me above. I think I might have to kill her.
Firstly, he was SO NOT MY TYPE. Secondly, I DON'T DO BLIND DATES. Thirdly, I DON'T NEED TO BE SET UP. Forthly, I AM GOING TO KILL HER. Damn her for living on the other side of the world.
Then I got really drunk and I let him kiss me and now he thinks he has a chance with me and I've already received one irritating text message and a boring email from him. Yech.
On a brighter note, Hamish decided to play his practical joke on me anyway, and now there are just out of reach postcards of me stuck in surprising places around the house, which - even though I know what he's up to - seriously makes me laugh my ass off every time I see one. It's like, it's such a funny joke that it doesn't even matter that you know the punch line. Comedy Gold.