"That's what happens when you care about your job." Pause. "And you don't give a rat's ass about your grandmother."
"Well yeah. That is why I put you in the home."
Ha! The sparkling dialogue kicks off to a good start. Grammy is a boss.
And then the Harvey/Daniel Hardman games begin, and it's riveting because Hardman is smart and tough and weirdly sympathetic. It's not that I trust him particularly, but I did find myself both liking and respecting him in this episode, which mirrored Mike's response (more on that later) and established him as not simply a formidable foe for Harvey and Jessica, but an interesting character in his own right. I hope he turns out to be Not Evil because I'd already quite like him to be a permanent member of the cast, as opposed to this season's Villain.
Ugh, Harvey and Jessica. Together in a scene. Will always make me happy.
"You know why I picked you right?"
"Because you knew I'd roll with your lie."
"Because you need a chance to get out of the doghouse."
"I got your tea service for you!" lolol Harvey's outraged expression forever and ever
And then of course this show knows just how to make me lose my mind by giving me inappropriate Harvey/Mike (which, yeah. okay, it's all inappropriate, I know this, but that's what I live for. As long as their scenes continue to be outrageously unprofessional, I am a satisfied fangirl.) First of all, Mike is dreaming about Harvey and Donna's can opener. That can opener HAUNTS him. I find this unspeakably adorable. And then it cuts to Harvey, who has been watching him sleep for god knows how long. Probably a while. Let's just say it was a while. And then this beautiful conversation (with bonus Harvey commentary) happened:
Harvey: "Paying for your sins of last night?" (stop thinking about Mike having sex, Harvey. Stop asking Mike about his sex life, Harvey. This is blatant sexual harassment. On second thoughts, don't stop. Carry on as you are.)
Mike: "I wish you hadn't said that."
Harvey: "Why not?" (Care more about Mike's private life, Harvey, I dare you. Oh wait, YOU CAN'T.)
Mike: "Because I spent the night with my grandmother."
Harvey: "She hot?" (LOLOL NO OH MY GOD. The offensiveness of Harvey's workplace banter only makes it more glorious.)
Mike: "What is wrong with you?"
Harvey: "You started it." (AHAHAHA I LOVE YOU HARVEY SPECTER)
Mike: "I most certainly did not."
And then Harvey tells Mike to go see Rachel because he doesn't care about the hurt feelings of either of them and basically Mike needs to be over Rachel so he can do whatever Harvey wants him to do the end, and Mike's all "I can't see her" and Harvey's all "tell her about the exciting night you spent with your grandmother. Trust me, she'll realize she dodged a bullet." LOL. What a dick. I love him.
OMG MIKE DOES PRO BONO CASES ON THE SLY BECAUSE HE'S SO NICE. Which makes my heart flutter with adoration, but what I love even more is that Harvey knows this and Mike knows that he knows and it's this quiet understanding they have that it's something Mike needs to do, and Harvey doesn't say anything about it (because he knows that Mike needs it) until *he* needs to use this piece of gorgeousness in aid of his own agenda, and then he's all, "Oh, and I need four bullshit pro bono cases, right now."
"I don't have any pro bono files, I'm a corporate lawyer. That's what we do here."
EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE TWO THO. otp forever srsly.
Credits roll and then there's more sexual innuendo between Harvey and Mike (with bonus Mike commentary):
Mike: "You know the head of the nurse's union isn't a lawyer, but a nurse, right?" (It's already weird that you're so excited about the joke you're setting up, Mike.)
Harvey: "What's your point?"
Mike: "What if you get schooled by a hot nurse?" (Like. I mean. I almost want to present that without comment, because it speaks for itself. But then what am I here for? So let's break it down. MIKE WANTS TO SEE HARVEY GET SCHOOLED BY A HOT NURSE. That's the only conclusion a reasonable person can draw from this so-called "joke". He wants this for Harvey. And he wants to watch.)
Harvey: What are you, twelve?"
Mike: "What, you can talk about my grandmother but I can't make a nurse joke?" (It didn't even feel like a joke, dude. It felt more like you were genuinely fucking excited about the possibility.)
It doesn't even end there you guys. Mike overshares with the revelation that, "Actually, I was twelve when I had my first care giver fantasy."
Harvey: "Let me guess, Nurse Ratched."
Mike: "Say what you will, she had a kind of stocky hotness."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. That Mike found Nurse Ratched attractive is one - very disturbing - thing (and if you haven't seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest it's very important that you go and watch it immediately so you can fully understand the depths to which this show has sunk by going there with these characters), but Harvey knowing Mike so well that he nailed it... fuck. Nurse Ratched, the Domme to end all Dommes, and Mike's into that and Harvey knows it. Way to vindicate all shippers everywhere, show. *APPLAUDS*
Harvey: "Our goal is to reach a fair agreement between a hospital and its nurses. There are no winners."
Mike: "Did you have a stroke? There's always a winner."
Harvey has never looked prouder in his life. "Of course there's a winner." And then he ruins it by saying, "I just wanted to make sure you were ready to stick it to the nurses."
And by ruined it I mean made the conversation EVEN DIRTIER than Mike had, which wasn't technically possible but trust Harvey to find a way.
MY TERRIBLE WONDERFUL BOYS. <3333
The nurse is not hot but she is the magnificent Margo Martindale, and I love this show for continuing to hire great character actors in guest starring roles. I particularly appreciated seeing her and Harvey flirt with each other, because apparently I ship Harvey with everyone.
Louis is preoccupied with Harold, as per usual, talking into his new dictaphone: "Reminder: Ask Harold to dye his hair. Orange is the color of a clown. No strike that. Harold is a clown." ♥
"Never use the phrase 'safer bet' with me again."
Mike can't not disobey him. "Safer bet," he says, just to see if he'll get away with it, and then Harvey flat out denies him the privilege of seeing him win, by physically pushing him back from the elevator, and then waving and smiling at him as the doors shut. What is this relationship.
Sheila Sazs, played by the very funny Rachael Harris = another fabulous guest character who I'd kill to see again. Hopefully she'll end up dating Louis. Those two would be an hilarious couple, right? Right.
Hardman: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Harvey: "People say I'm emotionally unavailable?"
LOL OH GOD. Harvey. You are my favourite forever and ever.
And then he gives Hardman a way to get to Mike, and he doesn't even know he's doing it. He accuses Hardman of 'thinking like a rookie' but in doing so he arouses Hardman's interest in Mike. That's a big mistake Harvey just made right there! I love it when Harvey messes up because Mike's on his mind too much. Ahahahaa.
Now let's talk about my fave aspect of this entire episode: Rachel. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing Rachel. She is my queen. I'm so in love with her I can't breathe properly. I love that we're getting so much of Rachel's POV now. We're spending time with her away from Mike - something s1 mostly denied us, and it's what the show was missing last year imo - and it's great because she is FABULOUS. omfg Donna and Rachel at the bar. They're fast becoming my #1 bffs.
Donna: "We're lawyers."
Rachel: "Pearson Hardman."
Donna: "I'm Harriet Specter, and this is my associate."
Rachel: "Michelle Ross."
I AM ACTUALLY DEAD. MY GLEE HAS KILLED ME. Literally everything Meghan Markle did in this scene was comedy gold:
"I've got a photographic memory. Pretty much a legal superhero." *dying*
Donna" "I'm a closer. I'm the best goddamn closer this town has ever seen."
And I'm starting to think they're suggesting that Donna's feelings for Harvey aren't resolved? Like, I think that's where they might be headed. I mean, I really did not get the sense that Donna was still in love, or that she'd ever been in love, with Harvey in S1, but they've confirmed the latter and they've definitely hinted at the former this season. This is one ship I don't particularly support tbh (knowing that the actors are such old, good friends and that kissing each other would be really weird for them doesn't help), but I have faith that if they do ever go there they'll do it in a way that I'll enjoy.
But anyway, my favourite line of the night was Rachel as Michelle Ross, telling that dude in the bar, "I can recite the constitution forward, back and sideways because I read it once when I was seven."
Her droll delivery, and then reaction to being asked to prove it had me weeping with laughter. I love that both Donna and Rachel totally got into role-playing the boys - all their lives are so intertwined - and then when they got bored with doing that they just had fun making up cool jobs. "Professor. Of law."
UGH MEGHAN MARKLE. She's so funny and beautiful I can't stand it. And she and Donna get drunk together! I love girls who drink together! That's also MY hobby!
Patrick J. Adams has chemistry with everyone. He's such a generous, responsive actor - I loved him with Hardman. Their scenes...there was this lovely sense that two very intelligent people were in the room together and they recognised that about each other and they connected. Similar to the way Harvey and Mike connected when they met, but without the sexual tension.
Mike: "You and Daniel are gonna be so proud of me."
Harvey: "Why don't you let me be the judge of that."
Mike: Do you want me to go tell Daniel how proud you are of me? Or do we do that together later, like a group thing? (Jesus, Mike's neediness should be pathetic but it's just sweet and funny and sexy.)
Harvey: I'll give him the good news. (*FLAILS* HOW SO PERFECT, HARVEY?)
Rachel got my favourite line, but my actual favourite SCENE in the whole episode was the funny, charming and poignant Harvey/Louis scene. If I hadn't already been head over heels in love with Harvey? That woulda done it. The way he noticed straight away that Louis was genuinely upset, and immediately stopped mocking him; that he was concerned, and supportive, and his reaction to Louis admitting the truth - that the associates don't think Louis works as hard as them - was so fucking honest and decent. There's no bullshit with Harvey, it's one of the things I love most abut him, but at his core he's a kind man. "Louis. Anyone who doesn't think you're the hardest working lawyer at this firm is an idiot. You may be a dick, but as far as I'm concerned, the associates have it pretty good." *SOBS*
And then they reminisce! "Remember when we were in here? What we had to deal with?" Oh god the utter *sweetness* of this entire exchange. These two have so much history and that lovely, warm, perfect scene captured it in a way we've never seen before. Goddamn, show. You're killing it this year.
Oh, Rachel/Mike, oh my god. I'm shipping them so hard right now I don't even know what to do with myself. Like, if you've known me a while you know I've never been a Rachel/Mike shipper, but that's because I didn't particularly engage with how the relationship was written last season. But these last three episodes have turned me around and I think what's happening is an improvement on S1 - both in terms of their chemistry and the boldness of the writing. I love that they're writing them as being in love with each other, but also dealing with it like adults, but also, not being able to stop feeling the things they're feeling even though they can't be together. I'm finding it painfully romantic and I'm really fucking impressed that the show is (so far) doing this romance (that much of this fandom hates *EYEROLL*) so brilliantly, and has gotten me so much more invested in it than I ever would have imagined possible last year. I mean, if their scenes together didn't move you at ALL? You must be watching a different show from me. [Quick aside time: Dear fandom, you can enjoy the canon romance AND ship the hot guys AT THE SAME TIME. Radical! Think of it this way: one is canon, the other is fanfic. *boggles* TRUST ME IT CAN BE DONE!]
Anyway the point is, Rachel knows Mike's keeping a secret from her. it's now only a matter of time before she finds out what that secret is.
Mike doesn't want to be in a Harvey/Daniel sandwich ever again. It's too hard for him. And then, guh, Harvey told Mike the truth about his grudge against Hardman because he trusts Mike. I say again: GUH.
Rachel is taking the LSATs! I'm so proud of her and excited for her and oh my god i hope she gets a high score. She's gonna be a kickass lawyer before this series is over, or I'm gonna be mad.
And finally, Harvey's hair: 7/10 (because even though it's no darker than last week and Margo Martindale called him Blondy - I'm pretty sure just to wind me up - I'm now used to the new style and I'm finding it very attractive.)