Kate ([info]mskatej) wrote,
@ 2009-06-23 15:41:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend  Next Entry
Current mood: relaxed
Entry tags:polls

Best/worst shag competition!
Do you know what we all need? No? I'll tell you.

We need a mindless poll, followed by an equally mindless discussion, about how good and/or bad certain hotass fictional characters are in bed.


Poll #1420007
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 44

Who is the best in bed?

View Answers

Chuck Bass
2 (4.5%)

Stringer Bell
2 (4.5%)

Seeley Booth
5 (11.4%)

Vincent Chase
3 (6.8%)

Charlie Crews
4 (9.1%)

Logan Echolls
3 (6.8%)

Merlin
2 (4.5%)

Barney Stinson
7 (15.9%)

Spike
8 (18.2%)

Sam Winchester
8 (18.2%)

And the worst?

View Answers

Chuck Bass
7 (17.5%)

Stringer Bell
1 (2.5%)

Seeley Booth
0 (0.0%)

Vincent Chase
4 (10.0%)

Charlie Crews
0 (0.0%)

Logan Echolls
3 (7.5%)

Merlin
16 (40.0%)

Barney Stinson
3 (7.5%)

Spike
3 (7.5%)

Sam Winchester
3 (7.5%)

Who is best lay?

View Answers

Vanessa Abrams
0 (0.0%)

Temperence Brennan
3 (7.1%)

Nancy Botwin
4 (9.5%)

Lisa Cuddy
3 (7.1%)

Joan Holloway
3 (7.1%)

Lois Lane
15 (35.7%)

Liz Lemon
0 (0.0%)

Veronica Mars
0 (0.0%)

Robin Scherbatsky
6 (14.3%)

Buffy Summers
8 (19.0%)

Worst?

View Answers

Vanessa Abrams
3 (7.5%)

Temperence Brennan
9 (22.5%)

Nancy Botwin
0 (0.0%)

Lisa Cuddy
6 (15.0%)

Joan Holloway
1 (2.5%)

Lois Lane
4 (10.0%)

Liz Lemon
9 (22.5%)

Veronica Mars
2 (5.0%)

Robin Scherbatsky
1 (2.5%)

Buffy Summers
5 (12.5%)


(48 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]huzzlewhat
2009-06-23 03:03 pm UTC (link)
This is hilarious. And I freely admit to a certain bias against my anti-OTP.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:05 pm UTC (link)
LOL! I was just saying to Melissa that you clearly are not a fan of Spuffy.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]huzzlewhat
2009-06-23 04:17 pm UTC (link)
Spuffy gives me hives. Well, not literally. Metaphorical hives. Which is fitting, since the pairing bothers me on a metaphorical level. :-) When Smallville actually outdoes Buffy on the unhealthy message to women about "evil/soulless/violent men can change into fluffy puppies if they really love you" issue, you know it's bad.

Plus, Spike's "I'm the sexiest guy in the room" schtick always just made me roll my eyes. Anyone who thinks they're that good in bed obviously can't be.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]huzzlewhat
2009-06-23 04:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh, and you know that Drusilla never let him off the leash — even if he wanted off the leash, which he probably didn't — so all those decades of experience were with one woman who preferred Angel anyway.

According to canon, he did do it with Angel once, but apparently it wasn't so great that it warranted seconds.

It's possible I still have some Spike resentment. :-)


(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:18 am UTC (link)
Hee! I'm sorry to say that Buffy/Spike was my first ever ship (they were the pairing that lead me to discover fanfiction at any rate) - never thought about the message to women, unhealthy or otherwise, I just adored their chemistry and wanted them to have lots of sex (which canonically was pretty darn awesome!!!). That said, they do seem to be a pairing that either rocks your world or makes you want to tear your hair out. :D

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]huzzlewhat
2009-06-24 06:19 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry to say that Buffy/Spike was my first ever ship

Then I shall refrain from being any nastier about them. :-)

I just adored their chemistry and wanted them to have lots of sex (which canonically was pretty darn awesome!!!)

Well, sure, they thought it was great...

(Oops. Slipped there, for a moment.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]anoel
2009-06-23 03:11 pm UTC (link)
I had to pick Barney for best since he's had the most practice...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:15 pm UTC (link)
Haha yes. I considered voting for him for worst actually, but I like him too much to do that to him.

Now to put them in order of prowess. :-?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]allzugern
2009-06-23 03:14 pm UTC (link)
I'm torn. I think Sam Winchester is probably a filthy, sexual agressive an hotass lover with a big fat dick. However, all the women he sleeps with die, so that might actually make him the worst lover ever.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:20 pm UTC (link)
What, he fucks them to death? That makes him either really good or really bad. (I have this image in my head of Sam waking up the morning after, seeing the girl lying next to him, dead as a doorknob, then shaking his fist at the sky screaming, "WHY GOD WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME *EVERY TIME*?")

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]allzugern
2009-06-23 03:27 pm UTC (link)
It's like a curse. Every woman he's has sex with has died. Even the dead woman wasn't immune from dying a second time after Sam had sex with her demon-inhabited corpse. Every. Single. One. I want to see them do an episode next year where he picks up a chick in a bar, and when they're getting down to the nasty she realizes he's Sam WINCHESTER and runs for her life. I'd watch that episode. On repeat.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]justabi
2009-06-23 03:30 pm UTC (link)
Hey, now. Dr. Hangover M.E. lived! I mean, I think Dean wanted to cut a bitch, but he manfully restrained himself to cutting Sam instead.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]allzugern
2009-06-23 03:33 pm UTC (link)
No, wait, I thought she died too? If she didn't then Sam's penis wasn't there. Seriously.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]justabi
2009-06-23 03:42 pm UTC (link)
Maybe she died of internal injuries from scary big Sam's penis going there the next day? She was still breathing at the end of the episode. Or maybe they'll bring her back and kill her later. They could totally use a party girl MD on call, though.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:32 pm UTC (link)
Does the show do that deliberately (as in, is there an actual reason all of Sam's lovers die), or do they have the Smallville disease where the same shit just happens on repeat, for years on end, because the writers wouldn't know a new idea if it smacked them round the head?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]allzugern
2009-06-23 03:37 pm UTC (link)
I have no idea if they just forget from episode to episode or what. The first two times I think the writers just thought it would be good drama or some shit. But it's pretty much gotten to the point that if Sam hooks-up, you know you shouldn't get too attached to the actress. Dean's chicks live. Well, mostly.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]norwich36
2009-06-23 03:43 pm UTC (link)
He's only slept with 4 women in 4 seasons, and I do think the first two were kind of deliberate--the death of his girlfriend motivates him to become a hunter again, rather like the death of his mom sent his dad on a 20 year obsessive revenge quest. Unlike Dean, who canonically sleeps around a lot, Sam generally only sleeps with women he has a strong connection to. The second woman he slept with turned out to be a werewolf and they couldn't reverse the curse, so he actually had to kill her. This season, though, he did have a one-night-stand who lived, but I think that's partly to show how his brother's death affected him; he's never been a one-night-stand guy before.

The other person he slept with this season was a demon, and that was *definitely* thematic, showing his descent after his brother's death. She claimed to be helping him prevent an apocalypse when all the while she was planning to trigger it, so Sam and Dean killed her together in the last episode of this season.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:46 pm UTC (link)
I think that's partly to show how his brother's death affected him

Dean died? Is that why he's friends with an angel now?

Poor Sam. Let's hope he finds love with a human being and gets out of the game some day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]norwich36
2009-06-23 06:08 pm UTC (link)
I hope this comment thread is long enough now to collapse and not spoil people, since I realize my above comment and this one are pretty spoilery. But yeah, Dean died and went to hell for 40 years (well, 4 months in normal time) and got dragged out of hell by an angel.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:20 am UTC (link)
I wouldn't worry about spoiling people - anyone reading this journal is almost certainly either up to date with spn or hates it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]norwich36
2009-06-23 03:32 pm UTC (link)
Hey, the hot doctor from "Sex and Violence" didn't die. I think.

(Kate, he doesn't kill them, they just usually end up being werewolves or killed by demons or something.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]allzugern
2009-06-23 03:38 pm UTC (link)
Or his brother knifes them while Sam holds them.

I thought she bit it too?? That was the Siren episode - I'll have to re-watch it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]norwich36
2009-06-23 03:27 pm UTC (link)
I only voted for best, not worst, since I don't know who about 1/3 of these people are.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:28 pm UTC (link)
YOU NEED TO WATCH MORE TELEVISION, NORA.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]norwich36
2009-06-23 03:31 pm UTC (link)
THAT IS UNDOUBTEDLY TRUE!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]justabi
2009-06-23 03:32 pm UTC (link)
I voted for Vincent Chase for best shag, but really only because I love him to pieces and couldn't stand the thought of no one voting for him. I suspect he should win for the worst, as he seems to be a really fucking lazy lay and only like one position, the one the only requires him to lie back and maintain and erection. Fail, Vinny, FAIL. In my mind he's a desperate wildcat in the sack with E, though, so it's all good.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:35 pm UTC (link)
LOLOL this is so true. He's one of those gorgeous people who suck in bed because they've never had to learn to do anything other than lie back and look good.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]justabi
2009-06-23 03:36 pm UTC (link)
Also, why no love for the elder Winchester? Bendy-yoga-girl-mother-of-Dean-clone told all her friends that Dean was the best sex of her life. And that was before he showed up looking all sexass and made the other ladies titter.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:39 pm UTC (link)
My reasoning is very specific: if I include Clark or Dean in these polls no one else stands a chance and I find that boring.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]justabi
2009-06-23 03:43 pm UTC (link)
*giggle* Good point. Smart girl.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]beef_wonder3
2009-06-23 03:48 pm UTC (link)
I reckon Spike would be the best lay. Not only all that hotass-ness but over 100 years of experience wouldn't hurt. That said, I'd do Sam Winchester in a heartbeat ;)
I also voted for Merlin as worst, which I feel bad about 'cause I love him so damn much. But he'd be adorable and sweet and nervous and more than likely fumble-y but not on par with Spike (or Sam) (or Booth for that matter)
As for the ladies, Lois would be best because... she's Lois.
I don't know why I picked Cuddy for worst though, it was my gut reaction, that she'd be a horrid lover.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-23 03:53 pm UTC (link)
Most people seem to agree that Cuddy isn't a good lay. I think she'd probably be better in bed than Liz and Brennan, but she is my third choice for worst.

Merlin may eventually become a good lover but at the moment he seems like he'd have a problem with premature ejaculation.

I voted for Buffy but I want Lois to win. :D

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]jlvsclrk
2009-06-23 04:12 pm UTC (link)
The only one I felt at all confident about was Chuck Bass as worst in bed. He's way too egocentric to care about anyone else's satisfaction, and if he did bother to get you off it would be only for the sake of maintaining a certain reputation. Merlin would be all fumbly but he'd be very interested in learning, which has its appeal.

Edited at 2009-06-23 04:12 pm UTC

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:22 am UTC (link)
Ha yes. I can see the appeal of Merlin, if you like that kind of thing. I think Chuck would make up for his egocentricity by talking dirty a lot. I imagine he would be amazing at talking dirty.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]silveronthetree
2009-06-23 04:30 pm UTC (link)
I'm getting better at this - I only had to look up 4 names. Poor Merlin.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:23 am UTC (link)
He's young, he can only improve, right?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]azewewish
2009-06-23 06:14 pm UTC (link)
I don't know who most of these people are, but you left off Tim Riggins and Coach Taylor for best in bed & that makes me sad. *g*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:31 am UTC (link)
Crap, I did consider including them on the list then decided not to - but I'll tell you my opinion: I think Tim would be an excellent, non-kinky, fuck, and I can't think about Coach having sex with anyone other than Tami because it's wrong.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]tasabian
2009-06-23 07:39 pm UTC (link)
The boys were easy to pick: I'm positive that Barney is ace in bed and Vinnie is lazy and selfish!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:34 am UTC (link)
Yes. Vinnie would totally be lazy although I'd much rather shag him than Barney.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]xgirl2222
2009-06-23 08:24 pm UTC (link)
What! No Clark? No Dean? No Angel/Angelus? Say it isn't so, Kate.

Only kidding:)

I read your reply to justabi so I understand your reasoning and even agree with it. Put any of the above on a poll along with, Captain Jack Harkness and more recently Kirk and Spock and you pretty much know who everyone is going to vote for. Unless of course all them are on one poll. Then it becomes an epic battle of hotness.

As for me, I chose Sam Winchester and Buffy Summers for best. Sam because you can tell he'd be a giving, yet passionate, (and some what dirty) lover. He also probably has a package proportionate with his size. Which just screams good night, with a side of walking funny in the morning.

It was hard to choose between Lois, and Buffy (evil Kate), They'd both rock any mans world. Buffy won in the end because she has those slayer muscles, that can make a man pop like warm champagne, and begged to be hurt just a little bit more. There's no beating that. Lois did come in a solid second, since she'd be awesome in bed and out.

Worst guy went to Chuck Bass. He's way to narcissistic to care about anyone's pleasure but his own. For worst girl I chose Vanessa Abrams (narrowly beating out Temperence Brennan for the win). You'd expect Vanessa to be a kinky, experimental, mother earth type. But in reality she'd probably be boring, with bad technique. Someone who thinks their rocking your world but really just putting you to sleep.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]radioreverie
2009-06-23 11:01 pm UTC (link)
Somehow I can't imagine sleeping through sex with Vanessa.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]xgirl2222
2009-06-24 02:55 am UTC (link)
It's just this vibe I get from her that says she'd be a big yawn. *Shrugs*
Not logical, but there you go. If it makes you feel better, you can always just substitute Temperence for Vanessa since she almost won for my worst by a hair.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:41 am UTC (link)
Put any of the above on a poll along with, Captain Jack Harkness

Ugh no!!! I know a lot of people fancy him but trust me, just as many people find him utterly gross. :D I don't find Spock attractive either but Kirk would totally get it. Yummmm.

Buffy and Lois were my top picks as well but I went with Buffy in the end for the same reasons.

It's hard to tell what Vanessa would be like in bed but I find her too smoking hot to imagine her as boring. I think she could be pretty fiery, or possibly really submissive (but in the best way). I picked Brennan because, while her technique would be far superior to, say, Liz's, I can't imagine her being as much fun.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]slodwick
2009-06-24 01:18 am UTC (link)
Clearly, the only reason Joan is not winning is that not enough people watch Mad Men. *wolf whistles*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:24 am UTC (link)
Clearly. Joan must be legendary in bed.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]issuesgrrrl
2009-06-24 06:11 am UTC (link)
Hee! I went Charlie Crews FTW - he's a grown-up and and all the money and the zen. Not all about him all the time - unlike Stinson who I picked for worst. Too busy looking for the next notch on the bedpost, that one.

Lois Lane definitely wins Best Lay. Knows what she wants and how to get it so you need to play along or get gone. Too bad she sucks at actual relationships but she can learn. Went with Brennan on Worst Lay. Her and Cuddy and Liz Lemon would all think about it too hard before hand but at least Cuddy and Lemon have a few romance novels on the nightstand to work from...

Such a fun poll! ::snogs!:: How about some picspam? ;^)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mskatej
2009-06-24 08:28 am UTC (link)
Charlie was my number 2 best lay after Logan - although I might only be saying that because I find him next most attractive.

I also went with Brennan for worst, but I suspect she's actually pretty good (she has talked about being good in bed and she's not the type to brag). Liz is probably the real worst lay on the list but I decided not to vote for her because I reckon with the right partner (Jack!) she'd be tons of fun.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(48 comments) - (Post a new comment)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…