Kate (mskatej) wrote,
Kate
mskatej

Moaning about bad movies

I watched a bunch of things on the weekend while I was sick.

"Million Dollar Baby", which OMG FUCKING SUCKS WHAT THE FUCK, ACADEMY? WHAT THE FUCK, CRITICS? I really do not understand why anyone on earth would think that piece of shit movie was actually good. Hilary Swank kicked ass, I’ll grant. But what a load of clichéd, melodramatic, horribly written, drably filmed (or as Charles Taylor said in his awesome review: "The alleged cinematography by Tom Stern is a visual insult"), most depressing bunch of bullshit that’s ever won an academy award.

People seem to think that if a film is plodding and dull and very very serious (no matter how daft the story is) then it’s good quality. They seem to think that if their characters have no sense of humour whatsoever (hi Heroes fans!) then it’s Great Drama.

Whatever.

Give me "The Devil Wears Prada" any day! I loved it. *happy* I’m a sucker for feel-good films, it’s true, but especially when they’re well written and gorgeous to look at. And my God. How can anyone not be madly in love with Anne Hathaway? She’s the most delicious actress of her generation I reckon. I love her. She’s beautiful and charming and smart and quirky enough to stand out from all the other young pretties in the industry. ♥

So after I sat through "Million Dollar Baby" the other day, Melissa and I started listing all our most hated movies. I’m not sure if I have a top ten of all time, but here are ten popular movies (six of which won the oscar for Best Picture) that I loathe and despise and think are truly awful:



1. Requiem for a Dream

Possibly the worst film of all time. The people I watched it with, who thought it was good—simply because it was arty and grim I suspect—accused me of having no taste and only liking blockbusters. These same people hate all blockbusters regardless of quality though, so I didn’t take their opinion seriously. Anyway, I hated every pretentious second of it and I resent losing two hours of my life to be repulsed by this so-called "art", with its absurdly trite and unoriginal message: Drugs Are Bad Mkay, and its kooky gimmicks that were all *utterly meaningless*. Get the fuck out RfaD.

2. Million Dollar Baby

Don’t trick me into crying motherfucker! You didn’t earn it! Sentimental =/= genuinely moving.

3. Forrest Gump

Yes great. Let’s worship stupidity as if stupidity itself is a virtue.

4. Batman Begins

So overrated! Wow! My first ever LJ post was a virtual slaying of this film. Read that if you want to know why I hated it.

5. Crash

Oh god really? Racism is BAD? Wow, I didn’t know. THANKS FOR BASHING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT AMAZING MESSAGE. Paul Haggis, you fucking hack. If you hadn’t been responsible for due South you might be my least favourite writer in Hollywood. (Cronenberg’s Crash, otoh, totally rulz.)

6. Gladiator
I don’t think I need to justify why I hate this film, but I will tell you that even though it is truly dire, Russell Crowe is a legend. He makes bad writing sound good and that’s what I call great acting.

7. Finding Neverland

I barely made it through this snoozefest. Also, Sir James Barrie is creeeeeepy.

8. Chicago

Why was this so popular? It was SO BORING. And I love musicals! It went on and on and on and the production numbers became increasingly unimaginative. Maybe it would help to know the songs or something, but I really disagree that this is a decent film. Give me "Moulin Rouge" or "Idlewild" any day. Also, I found Renee Zellweger gross in this movie.

9. Titanic

When my parents went to this film, at about the halfway point, my dad said my mum: “When is this bloody boat going to bloody sink?”

*BEAMS*

Excellent question, Dad! But yeah, I was with a friend who was bawling her eyes out at the end while I was sitting there gaping at the screen going: well THAT sucked.

10.
(I will leave this one open for now because I'm sure one of you will remind me of a film I hate that I can add to the list.)
Unbreakable

Thanks to kristiinthedark for reminding me how much I absolutely despised this film. We were all so excited about it too, because of The Sixth Sense! But it turned out to be the most offensive, revolting, horribly written nonsense of all time. It's been years since I sat through it but the bad aftertaste remains. UGH.

Tell me your top ten (bottom ten?) or just any popular movies you really hate and why.
Tags: film
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