I'm saying this every week at the moment but Crimson is officially my favourite episode of the season so far, and I can't imagine anything topping it. I have some issues, but mostly I loved every minute of it. OMG IT WAS ALL SO RIDICULOUS AND CAMP AND HILARIOUS.
Sooooo much happened in this marvellously funny, sexy, Smallville-at-its-best episode.
I laughed out loud a LOT this week, which is a rare treat, and I found the writing really tight, the dialogue mostly okay, and the occasional clunker more charming than cringeworthy: "I'm not going to ask you to betray Clark's secret if you'll stop denying that he has one." A line which sounds clever on the surface but which actually makes no sense. What, You WILL ask Chloe to betray Clark's secret if she KEEPS denying that he has one? Still, Lana got what she wanted, so her faulty logic (or clever manipulation if you want to read it that way) is more impressive than not.
But yes, comedy gold. Erica and Tom were both fabulously funny throughout, and their chemistry was spot on, and it was all just SUCH a pleasure to watch. I will never not passionately love the mix tape and the tattoo. And Clark teasing her at the end was perfect and hot. (I love Tom Welling, btw. Just in case that wasn't clear.)
Red!Lois and Red!Clark made out a lot and it was very hot. I especially loved how into it Clark was and that he took his shirt off (FINALLY) and that he ripped her clothes off and bragged about what a great fuck he was going to be (which is amusing given his woeful lack of experience but ENTIRELY BELIEVABLE NONETHELESS) and that he FLEW. Jesus CHRIST. Could any of that have been any more awesome? NO!
Chloe still being in love with Clark is lame, but I *adored* him telling her that he's given it (screwing her) some thought at the engagement dinner. That was amazingly mean (and HOT) and probably quite effective at keeping Chloe's hopes raised that *maybe one day he will want her*. OUCH. Jimmy broke my heart a bit in the break up scene, but I love that he knows he deserves better and that he won't let himself be a consolation prize. What a cool dude!
It bears repeating that Clark on red K is the sexiest bastard in the universe. Also, the most beautiful. Plus, his experiences on Red K always teach him a lot about himself. He's ordinarily so damn repressed, to the point where I firmly believe that it's in his (and the audience's) best interests to occasionally dabble in the stuff. Everything he said at the dinner was TRUE and that's one of the many reasons that scene ruled. *air punch*
The Clana was alright. I loved the "She's your past, I'm your future" line just because it was followed by the awesome, "This is the present". Then he hauls Lana violently out of the room and makes out with her and she, quite rightly, kisses back for a while and THEN loses her shit at him. I CANNOT BLAME HER ONE BIT FOR ANY OF THAT.
Lex pointed a gun in Clark's face because Clark called him on the fact that Lana is just a trophy to him because she used to belong to Clark. (Lana wails quietly in the background: "I'm not a competition!" The boys both ignore her.) Clark pretends to try and kill Lex, but hello, if he *really* wanted to kill Lex he could do it in an instant. That was more about putting his paws on Lex and showing him who's boss. *FLAILS* And THEN they delivered a Lexana scene that didn't make me want to kill myself, because we got my favourite line of the episode (spoken by Lex to Lana): "But then, I wasn't the one kissing him."
HOLY CRAP. Lex talking about kissing Clark? IS AWESOME TIMES A ZILLION. (That's what that line did to all of you too right? You instantly imagined Clex kissing. *nodsnods*)
Finally, when I thought things couldn't get any better, we discover that Lex has somehow impregnated Lana with SOMETHING WEIRD. And that Lana KEPT THE FUCKED SWORD.
BAM! Kate dies of squee. The end.