Kate (mskatej) wrote,

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Grammar and why I hate today


I'm not, like, *bad* at grammar or punctuation or anything. Hell, I used to think I was totally awesome at it because people who didn't punctuate properly irritated me. What it is, is that I do it all intuitively without actually understanding any of the rules. I don't have a clue what a conjugation or a preposition is and I don't care. People can understand me and that's what matters. Also, I have friends like bop_radar who are smarter than me and who go through my stories and put in commas and shit like that.

Ooh, I got interesting feedback the other day telling me that leisurely is an adjective and not an adverb (so Lex can't leisurely walk over to Clark and leisurely rip off Clark's clothes and then leisurely fuck the shit out of him). And I was all yeah it is an adverb, and then I was like BAM, and I linked to OED with the proof, and she said that I totally owned her with the OED move but according to myriad other sites it's one of the few words that end in "ly" that is just an adjective and not an adverb, and she said that while she was proved wrong, it looks awkward to her and now I don't think I'll ever be able to use leisurely as an adverb again even though I've been using it as an adverb for years. It's the best alternative to slowly that I can think of!

Anyway, my point is, this new professor has started in my department and OMG he is sooooo goodlooking that I want to kill myself. Also, I work for him. He's not even really my type and I imagine that it won't be long before I stop being completely attracted to him, but yeah, right now he would definitely get it. So he comes in and says, "Kate, how's your grammar?" (He's dutch) and I say, "it's okay," and he says great and sends me this paper to proofread.

FUCK. Okay, not only do I find it hard to concentrate on academic writing about 'contingent punishment' (although actually that sounds kind of hot), I have NO CLUE WHAT I'M DOING. Look at what I have to deal with:

Consistent with the description of non-contingent punishment as a form of interpersonal mistreatment that invites negative reciprocity; previous research has demonstrated the negative consequences of non-contingent punishment for subordinate behavior.

Ummm.... what? See, I'm not sure if that should be a comma in there or if I should leave in the semi colon.  And I want to do a good job for him! Because he is CUTE. Pah.

This afternoon I have another colposcopy appointment, which, if you were around six months ago, you'll remember that the procedure was the most traumatic thing I've ever experienced. This time, however, I am well prepared. I have VALIUM.

The doc prescribed me three pills so if the first two don't work I can knock back another one and float through the entire ordeal like a housewife on drugs. WOOT.

Actually, I'm terrified and I really hate being a woman. :*(
Tags: real life, writing
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