( Hart of Dixie, 1.22: The Big Day ***Season Finale*** )


( How I Met Your Mother, 7.23-4: The Magician's Code ***Season Finale*** )


Suits

It is back SOON guys. Like, one month. ONE MONTH. I can quite honestly tell you that I have never in my life been so nervous and excited about a show returning. My over-investment in these characters has basically ruined my whole life - and I say that as someone who could really do without seeing the phrase 'life ruiner' ever again - because, and I'm totally serious about this, since Harvey/Mike took up residence in my pants, I have not given one single flying fuck about anything else, including finding a better job or doing well in school. [I did OKAY this year at uni, but I didn't get any firsts (yet - I still haven't got all my marks back, and I have an exam coming up, but tbh my expectations are low) and that sucks because in my first two years I kicked a lot of ass. Next year I hope I can find a better balance between fandom and school.]

I've been working on a fic for MONTHS too - it's now 30K+ and a bit of a mess, because I'm not used to writing long stories, but thatotherperv is helping me whip it into shape, so hopefully I will be able to post the damn thing some time in the next few weeks. I can't decide whether to post it in chapters or not, though, and I welcome your feedback on this. It's not so much that posting a long story in one go bothers me, but Mel did make the very good point that when there is a lot of sex in a long story (and there is a LOT of sex in this fic, shocker) readers can get desensitized to the hot. With that in mind, do you think it's better to dole it out in, say, four big chunks, or just post it as a massive one-shot and trust that my sex scenes are hot enough to keep working their magic? And if you do agree that chaptering the fic is a good idea, do I post once a day? Every second day? Every third? GIVE ME ADVICE, FLIST.

Or just do this poll.

Poll #1840667
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 13

Long fic

And in exciting RL news, Suz is leaving the flat to move in with her boyfriend and we are getting a new (very nice) flatmate called Emma, who has a CAT. Charlie is going to be so angry about it, but eventually I'm sure they will learn to tolerate each other. I can't wait. I've even started researching the best way to force friendship on them. *glee*

Was out with Sharan last night and now have one of those hangovers that means I will be doing no work whatsoever today. She didn't even bother coming in today. I'm not sure if that makes her a slacker or me a chump (or both).

Suits!

I don't think I can put into words quite how freaked out I was about the possibility of a Blond Harvey next season. This is the promo that gave me nightmares (I'm not kidding. I DREAMT ABOUT BLOND HARVEY AND WOKE UP IN A COLD SWEAT.) because, and I think you should all agree with me, he DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HARVEY. I love Gabriel Macht with blond hair:



But Harvey Specter is tall, dark and handsome. It can be no other way. Which is why these Instagram pics that Patrick J. Adams has been taking of the cast over the past day or so have helped with my anxiety. It's a little bit hard to tell. But his hair looks dark again in them, right?





RIGHT??

Also, holy crap, that one with Harvey and Rachel and Donna... *DEAD FROM HOT* I can't. I can't contain my excitement about this show coming back. I care way more about it than I do anything that's actually important. But like, ugh. THIS SHOW. THESE CHARACTERS. ♥ ♥ ♥

~

Speaking of Sharan and Suits, I made everyone I work with watch Suits when it aired here recently, and they all loved it, naturally, but what was really GREAT for me was being able to squee with Sharan over a tv show. She's not a fangirl in any way, shape or form, so that aspect of my life is not something I really share with her, but man, she LOVED Harvey, and was more than happy to talk about his epic hotness with me once a week. The other day we snuck to the pub at 4.30 (perks of working at a uni: there's a pub on campus) for a quick beer, and had this hilariously filthy conversation about all the things we'd like to do to Harvey Specter. She very much enjoys him in a three-piece, and loves the waistcoat so much her main fantasy involves him leaving it on (with his collar open) and just taking his pants off. My response was something along the lines of: he can leave his pants on too as long as he's got his dick out (which made her laugh long and hard [no pun intended], but then she totally agreed with me, because ultimately even a super hot guy wearing a top half and no bottoms would look silly).

This has been an entirely pointless post. Hello LJ!

Title: Man in the Middle
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Rachel/Harvey
Word count: 7,971
Spoilers: “Dog Fight”
Notes: I am eternally grateful to thatotherperv, my personal fandom queen, for inspiring me to actually sit down and write this thing, for her superlative work as my beta, and for just generally being awesome and talented and making me happy.
Summary: Rachel regrets leaving Mike that phone message and decides to seek comfort at the bottom of a martini glass, but she gets more than she bargained for when she runs into Harvey in a bar downtown.


( Man in the Middle, by Kate )


Or if you prefer you can read this story at AO3

Justin Bieber continues to bring me joy in the form of Metro news stories, the latest of which had me laughing out loud on the tube this morning. I would struggle to name more than one of his songs but he might well be my favourite douchebag celebrity:

Justin Bieber is being sued over a tweet that allegedly left an elderly Texan couple fielding 1,000 calls. The singer accidentally sent their number to his 19million Twitter followers and told them: ‘Call me right now.’

The couple, Kent and Dilcie, want concert tickets and an apology from the 18-year-old.

Read more...

LOL.

They are suing him for CONCERT TICKETS AND AN APOLOGY.

Is it just me or is that the most ridiculous fucking thing you've ever heard.

LAST WEEK OF TERM!!!! I'm very excited about not having to go to class three nights a week any more, so I can go to the pub with Sharan instead.

And maybe, just maybe, I will finish all the fic I'm currently working on: an epic Harvey/Mike shmoop-fest, and, because thatotherperv got so excited about it, I am finally writing the Rachel/Harvey story I've been wanting since last year. I just made them kiss. THEY ARE MY (EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE) PUPPETS AND I AM THEIR MASTER.

~

So after Inception came out I wrote a post in this LJ about how much I hated it (called "Why I hate Christopher Nolan") which still gets a fair bit of anonymous traffic. Turns out if you type 'i hate Christopher Nolan' into google, my post is the first link! Awesome.

Anyway, the comments are a glorious mixture of outraged trolling and whole-hearted agreement. I never would have imagined I'd enjoy being insulted so much, but there's something genuinely hilarious to me about how angry some people are with me - a stranger to them - because I happen to hate their favourite film director. But seriously, this comment never fails to make me laugh (I was going to quote the best bits but the whole thing is gold, so):

Christopher Nolan is a Genius
This article is ridiculous
-Nolan’s movies are some of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed of All Time, and yet you claim he has no talent; - how stupid are you?? If Making Billions at the Box Office, having universal critical acclaim, and winning Oscars is your idea of having no talent then you obviously know nothing at all do you?
All the most respected critics in the world – people who know MUCH more about movies than you have acclaimed “Inception” as a veritable masterpiece, but somehow you seem to think you know better than all the critics. How deluded can you get? Inception also has one of the highest audience approval rates of any movie EVER made – but obviously you think you also know better than all the millions of fans out there. The film has made over $825 million at the global box office and is now officially one of the highest grossing movies of all time. So deal with it.
There are too many shallow, stupid and emotionally retarded people out there; these people go to see a film and come out complaining that they did not like it, without realising that the problem is NOT with the film, the problem is with THEM. Perhaps you are too dead on the inside to appreciate an emotional storyline; - Inception actually made many people cry including myself, and I’m a guy.
The story of inception was perfect – engaging, moving, thought provoking, the Screenplay which Nolan wrote was also nominated for Best Original Screenplay.
The score which you called “awful” was actually nominated for an Oscar
- Nolan is seen as a genius by most critics and most film fans, and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Nobody cares about your opinion. If you don’t like his batman films or Inception, then I’m guessing your taste in movies must be Horrendous. I would HATE to see the kind of movies you have on your shelf – Supergirl, Batman and Robin, Gigli, Swept away, The last Airbender, Glitter, Catwoman. I think you should stick with these kinds of movies and leave the good movies to normal human beings.

LOLOLOL.

Every time I get a new comment on that post I reread that little gem and it fills me with happiness. Today's comment also made me laugh, as it begins like this:

I hate him as well and I hope he dies VERY soon

♥ ♥ ♥

~~~~~TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of fic prompt about non-consensual public discipline with a belt/public humiliation~~~~~~

I've been involved in an immensely frustrating, upsetting and enraging conversation today with the mod of suitsmeme, and as she has just screened the thread I am going to repost the entire conversation here because I feel the need to expose her ignorance to the world.

It all started with a prompt on the meme:

Harvey/Mike belting (dubcon)

Harvey's ordered to spank Mike with a belt for being merciful in the mock trial. Jessica and Louis watch to make sure he doesn't go too easy on Mike. Lots of H/C after, please!

And then the following happened:

huffydoo:

Subject: Re: Belting prompt really triggery
I wish the prompter had applied better trigger warnings in the subject line. Some of us find discipline especially in front of an audience very triggery. I wish the trigger warning had flatly stated "public discipline". Dubcon usually implies a sexual situation between two adults where one party consents though not possibly completely of their free will. There is nothing in the prompt to suggest Mike is consenting to the situation. I know that to each their own, but I wish discipline fics would warn so that then the reader can take the decision to read or not read. Nothing sucks more then to stumble into a really triggery situation blindly.

suitsmeme:

May I ask that you pm me the link to the prompt. I would like to read it to see if the prompt needs to be fixed and reposted with appropriate warnings. I understand the that certain situations would be a trigger for people. Remember that it also depends ultimately on how the filler would want to interpret the prompt, I have seen discipline fics done in an amazing way that really got into the minds of the characters and how characters react to it, while being in a consensual situation.

mskatej:

The link is here: http://suits-meme.livejournal.com/3959.html?thread=2663799#t2663799

And if someone tells you they've been triggered it's probably best not to tell them to remember that it depends upon interpretation. It's the prompt that triggered her, not a hypothetical fill to the prompt.

mskatej:

Additionally, asking huffydoo to go back and find a prompt that triggered her is unbelievably insensitive, as well as unnecessary - it took me less than a minute to find the prompt myself. It's your responsibility as mod to deal with problems in the meme, and as a mod I would hope and expect you to not engage in victim blaming rhetoric (which in itself can be triggery for many people) as well as to not dismiss the concerns of memers in the manner that you did here. I don't speak for huffydoo and I have no idea whether your response upset her as much as it upset me, but I personally think you owe her an apology.

suitsmeme:

First off, I did not mean to upset anyone. I actually could not find the prompt and I went back by flat view. Then again, I could have missed it solely by the fact that I was looking for belting. I am not victim blaming anyone. I have studied victim blaming and would never do that even online. I haven't seen the prompt when I requested her to link me it (insensitive on that part and I'm sorry for that). Now that I have seen it, it'll have the discipline label on it for delicious archiving but it can stay the way it was written with a dubcon warning.

Also, I know it's my responsibility and if you have been reading the other updates, you would also notice that I can no longer devote all my time to this meme. Thus, am grateful that others have stepped up and handled certain situations at the meme when I was not around.

mskatej:

I don't understand how you could so casually disregard the complaint of a memer who was triggered by that prompt. There's no dubious consent about it. Harvey is "ordered" to discipline Mike. The prompt does not mention that Mike enjoys it or wants it or consents. The prompt should be labelled NON consent and for god's sake should certainly come with a trigger warning given that you have been told be a person who frequents this meme that she was triggered by it. The fact that you (or any of your helpers) failed to ensure a proper warning was attached to the prompt *immediately* and had to be told by a memer *who was triggered by it* means you are not fulfilling your duties as a mod and you should either step down, or get better helpers.

Furthermore, while I believe it was not your intention, you have absolutely engaged in victim blaming rhetoric, both in your previous comment (when you told huffydoo that she should "Remember that it also depends ultimately on how the filler would want to interpret the prompt" - putting the onus on her not to be triggered rather than on the prompter or yourself to *not trigger people*) and in this comment, where you have decided for reasons I cannot possibly fathom that "dubcon" is a perfectly acceptable label because I can only assume you think the person who was triggered should not be taken seriously.

suitsmeme:

"I wish discipline fics would warn so that then the reader can take the decision to read or not read. Nothing sucks more then to stumble into a really triggery situation blindly." That is what I was responding to.

I'm not continuing this conversation without Huffydoo involved. I have a different interpretation of that prompt and you have another. What it is will depend on the fill, if it even gets filled. From there, it can be changed in the delicious archive from dubcon to noncon. As moderator, my decision stands. It has nothing to do with disregarding the person triggered, it has to do with interpretation of the prompt.

suitsmeme:

I have contacted huffydoo and we try to find a suitable solution to the situation. I'm glad that you are taking a stance about the situation. Please know that it will be resolved.

As to the warning change, I have had other requests for changing warnings some I have approved and sides with and some the person and I talked through about the warning. I am not against anyone here. I however refuse to allow anyone to start wank on this community. The situation will be resolved and whether or not you agree with he solution is up to you. I won't stop you from leaving the meme, starting your own or even critiquing it. Huffydoo and I will work together to resolve this issue.

ME:

FUCK YOU, MOD, I'M HAVING THE LAST WORD, EVEN IF IT IS IN MY LJ AND NOT IN YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MEME. I left the meme MONTHS ago because of your incompetency and if you consider this conversation wank it's on YOU, not me. Your lack of reading comprehension astounds me, as does your ignorance and insensitivity, not to mention your AUDACITY at screening a thread about a serious issue that affects more than just the people involved in this particular discussion, simply because you can't handle being disagreed with. I don't know huffydoo but I am appalled that you think it is appropriate to discuss this with her, rather than simply apologising and *doing as she asked*, and I can only hope she doesn't find talking to you as upsetting as I have. You're a fucking disgrace.

Spent weekend doing two things: writing an essay about Catherine Breillat and Andrea Arnold and watching Teen Wolf.

[I also fit in a viewing of Gabriel Macht film A Love Song for Bobby Long, which, other than for the eye candy, I found pretty terrible. I mean, Gabe and Scarlet Johanssen don't even have sex or make out onscreen. WHY? I don't understand why they wouldn't make out onscreen. Or have sex. But mostly I just found it...inauthentic, kind of boring, and slightly embarrassing.

Has Gabriel ever made a good film? I have S.W.A.T. Firefight ready to watch too, but I'll save that for a weekend when I haven't already sat through a bad GM film (especially since everyone told me Bobby Long was awesome). A while ago I watched Middlemen but only half of it, and although it's on my to do list I haven't felt much of an urge to finish it. I actually really liked Love and Other Drugs, but he doesn't exactly have big part.]

I'm so confused by my addiction to Teen Wolf. Like, it's honestly not very good - and I don't recommend it. And yet... I think I watched eight episodes? Possibly nine? Point is, I'll be done with S1 soon and I already know I'll watch S2. AND I have some thoughts about what I've seen so far:

( Teen Wolf! )

I've had this thing on my mind for a couple days now and it has been amusing me and making me curious in equal measure and because it's entirely appropriate subject matter for this journal, here it is.

How important is cock size to you guys when you're reading porn? It occurred to me the other day that it's a pretty big deal to me - in my SV stories I probably make mention of Clark's enormous member at least once per story, and like, with Harvey/Mike my head canon is that they're both hung but Harvey is bigger. I thought really hard about whether I would ever be able to accept a story in which Mike is bigger than Harvey? And I'm pretty sure I can't. And obviously Lex has a big cock but not as big as Clark's, because Clark is Superman. Then I thought about how Nathan is bigger than Peter (because he's older? idek) and how Bruce is bigger than Dick (because he's Batman) and how Merlin's is longer than Arthur's but Arthur's is thicker, and how Logan's huge penis is canon (extra large condoms!) and how awesome that is.

The point is though, I don't want to read about men with small cocks and I doubt you guys do either, unless, like, 'realism' appeals to you for some unknown reason.

So here's a poll on this very important topic:

Poll #1822249 Cocks
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 58

How much do you care about cock size in porn?

Suits: who has the bigger cock?

Smallville?

Sherlock?

Harry Potter?

Heroes?

DC?

Merlin?

Thank you so much to elli, clari_clyde, voldything, serenography, duskwillow and elsmoka for my V-day hearts. Because I have embraced the tumblr way of doing things I will now show you my appreciation with reaction gifs (none of which were made by me, obviously):









I LOVE YOU GUYS! And the rest of you too! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

MISFITS! It is my favourite. I thought I would be more upset about Robert Sheehan leaving the show but if anything season 3 is funnier than ever. The acting is great across the board, the dialogue is magnificent, it's wildly romantic (Alisha/Simon forever), and it's just...different. I've never seen anything quite like it before, I love every character, and it should totally win all the awards ever. It's the UK's best drama (dramedy? It's funnier than many of the comedies I watch) by a million miles and I will debate with anyone who says otherwise. (The Hour is good too, but nowhere near as entertaining.)

The Good Wife is pleasing me greatly atm (Eli! Diane! Will! Alicia! Kalinda! CARY!!!). I can't deal with how wonderful Cary is, and how much I love Will and Diane being awesome together, and Elsbeth is also my favourite, and by the way, if, like me, you fell in love with that incredible cover version of "Here I Go Again" by Audra Mae from the party scene in "Another Ham Sandwich", you can hear the song in its entirety here.

Parks and Recreation is my perfect show. I'm actually slowly rewatching it from S2 onwards (Louis C.K! ♥) and I have to say Fred Armisen's guest spot in "Sister City" (2.05) still slays me. I remember that episode being the first one to make me cry with laughter. Is he always that hilarious? Should I check out Portlandia?

~

I'm writing new fic, hurrah! I started off intending it to be an Established Relationship story, because I wanted to try something different, but it's kind of not working out that way so much, in that I've ended up telling the story of the relationship from the beginning, so it's more an Establishing Relationship story, which is much more interesting to me anyway. It just felt weird to leave out how they got together, you know? Like, surely everyone wants to know that bit, right? And then when the flashbacks catch up to the present I will tell a story about the relationship itself, and all going smoothly this should end up being my longest Suits fic yet. Which is a bit daunting but I am determined to see it through even if it takes forever.

[If you know me well you will know that I'm not good at long-form storytelling. It comes down to a couple of things: my impatient streak combined with my haphazard writing technique. I am slow and undisciplined and I reread/rewrite obsessively; my first drafts are often nonsensical, horribly written, and unpublishable - which means writing novella length fanfic has never been an option for me. Like, if my stories have any structure at all it's down to luck, intuition and/or a good beta.]

Suits premieres tonight in the UK (on Dave at 9pm)! I am very excited about this even though I have seen it tons of times and can't even watch it most weeks because I have class on Tuesdays (that I'm not going to tonight because I've been ill and haven't done any prep for it and it's a class that makes me feel stupid even when I have prepared, so).

Right now I feel a little bit miserable about fandom but I'm sure it will pass. I just feel... old. And a bit weird/lonely in my mono-fannishness, and I don't feel inspired to write at the moment, but I'm not sure if that's an issue I have with Suits fandom or if it's because writing my last story was such a satisfying experience that the thought of it being any other way fills me with apathy.

Whilst sick I started and caught up with Happy Endings, and I love it because the cast is so great I can't even single out my favourite because it changes episode to episode (although if I absolutely had to pick a favourite it would be Damon Wayans Jr. So much funnier and more charming than his dad, wow).

I also watched Series 1 of Misfits which I thought was genuinely excellent (that's right! A British television show I actually like!). Again, I love the entire cast - delighted to see Robert Sheehan again, who was so memorable in Cherrybomb; he's such a charismatic actor he can play an annoying little shit like Nathan and I can't actually hate him - and I'm thoroughly enjoying the clever, profane, brutally frank writing. I have a feeling Tumblr spoiled me a while ago for the death of a main character, and I'm already dreading that/hoping it's not actually real/hoping my memory is faulty, but knowing that spoiler isn't enough to make me stop watching.

Do any of you watch Californication? I discovered yesterday that Scott Michael Foster, who played my beloved Cappie on Greek, is in episode 1 of Season 5, and I am wondering if it is worth watching just for him. Is it a big part? Is he wonderful? Help me out here.

Finally, go read this story immediately: http://archiveofourown.org/works/294252

Title: Best in the World
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Harvey/Mike
Word count: 6,606
Warnings: Drug use and unsafe sex with only positive consequences.
Notes: Happy new year, Suits fandom! Beta’d by the lovely and amazing mockturtletale.
Summary: Mike takes ecstasy with a hot client at a Pearson Hardman function but once he’s high he’s only got eyes for Harvey.




( Best in the World, by Kate )

This is a strange request. [LJ looks so horribly unfamiliar, it's unsettling me. Why would they do this to us?]

Tentacle porn. I'm at Lex and Caroline's place for Christmas and we were watching SUPER earlier (the darkest film ever by the way; I would be very interested to hear what my feminist friends think of the rape scene in it, because it is by far one of the most interesting, startling and subversive scenes I've ever seen; Mary, I'm looking at you!), and in SUPER there's a clip of Rainn Wilson's character watching tentacle porn and I was all, OMG TENTACLE PORN. Because--and I'm not sure if this will come as a surprise to you, or if you know me well enough to be unsurprised about it--

I have never read any tentacle porn. I've heard of it. Of course I have. People talk about tentacle porn. Tentacle porn is a thing that is real and that I know about. But I've never read it. I saw a little bit of tentacle porn today, in the film, and then Lex paused the film and gave me a history lesson on tentacle porn (yes he actually did), and that was interesting because before tonight all I knew was that it was a kooky subgenre of pornographic fanfiction. But I've never read it! I assume it involves one of the characters turning into an alien type organism? With tentacles? Who fucks people with their tentacles? I can only assume this, because until tonight I had never let my mind go there. Until tonight I had never given a second's thought to the logistics of tentacle sex, of sex with a tentacled being. But tonight I did, because it was in the movie, and then it was a discussion topic, and then I was like... Huh. With tentacles literally every orifice can be penetrated at the same time.

THAT IS GENIUS.

Recs?

Title: The Trip
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Harvey/Mike
Word count: 9,194
Spoilers: None
Acknowledgements: I am so grateful to my awesome cheerleader and beta extraordinaire, mockturtletale, for her encouragement, her insightful comments, and for ensuring I didn’t go overboard with the sap. <3
Summary: Mike and Harvey go to LA on business and end up drinking at a bar in the Regent Beverly Wilshire. And then chaos.



( The Trip, by Kate )

Okay this is going to be a terribly self indulgent post but whatever. As you may be aware I have a new AO3 account and I have just spent the last several weeks uploading all my fic there, but instead of doing it the normal way and just transferring it as is from LJ to AO3, I decided I would take the opportunity to reread every single story as I uploaded it and make minor improvements. Like I said in a previous post I didn't change much; mostly I just deleted a lot of unnecessary adverbs and de-italicised lots of words, but, even though I've never been an author of long fics, it was a pretty big, time-consuming project, and now I have thoughts! Observations! Commentary!

What you will find behind the cut: observations about my writing, including talk about the stories I am most/least proud of and the stories I think are my hottest; discussion about fic in general/fandom/AO3; moaning about how bad people are at leaving feedback and giving kudos; thoughts on happy endings, particularly w/r/t Clark/Lex; and much, much more! I hope this post is more entertaining that it sounds, and do feel free to ask me questions or come talk to me about anything you like in the comments, even if it is only tangentially related (or just, you know, ignore me).

( Read more... )

Hello LJ. We are having much fun talking about our kinks and squicks over in mockturtletale's LJ at this week's Suitors Session. Get over there!

Or if you are not interested in Suits but still want to talk to me about your kinks and squicks (I LOVE THIS SUBJECT A LOT OKAY) then feel free to comment here.

~

I was checking my Gabriel Macht tag on Tumblr and saw this post, which is entitled "I blame them for my high expectations for men." And there's a pic of Harvey Specter and Zac Efron (both great choices) and then at the bottom, a pic of Chris Brown.

...

~

I filed the following under my "gifs that make me horny" tag on Tumblr:

( Neither of them have any respect whatsoever for the other's personal space. This pleases me immensely.  )

~

Let's finish this with a fun meme I've seen floating about:

Give me a character and I'll tell you

1. My OTP for them

2. A person of the same gender I ship them with

3. A person of a different gender I ship with with

4. An uncommon person I ship them with

5. A ship with them I don’t care for

Suits people!

I have been meaning to make this post for the last couple days but turns out, writing LJ posts is hard and time consuming, and tweeting and cruising Tumblr is not, so sorry about that but don't worry it's not too late. Go forth and check out (and participate if you feel the urge!) the very first Suitors Session at mockturtletale’s LJ. This is something we hope to do on a regular basis, and it's all about getting together in one space to discuss Suits fandom related issues and whatnot, with an eye to making our baby fandom more awesome for everyone involved. As you all know by now, I am entrenched in Suits fandom and deeply invested in making it a place that not only I want to be but that YOU want to be.

This first post is an introduction/general discussion type deal, but already some interesting topics have come up (I, naturally, jumped straight in there with ‘STOP HATING ON THE GIRLS’ because some things never change and I like to be consistent. And while I suspect my comments may make anyone who even mildly dislikes Rachel feel like I just called them a mindless, racist, misogynist asshole, I can assure you that was not my intention); in particular, a discussion about the current state of the kink meme (hint: IT IS NOT GOOD) is worth checking out.

~

Smallville people!

The amazingly talented and lovely lidi_photos made me some absolutely gorgeous Clex art, inspired by one of my stories, and trust me you need to see it immediately:

BEAUTIFUL

~

In other news, I am STRESSED. I have so many essays to write and they're all freaking me out because the questions are hard and making me feel stupid, and then in addition to that and the fact that I can't keep up with all my television any more and haven't watched a film in months, I am dying to find time to work on my latest story! Which I’m really psyched about. I love them so much. Thing is, it’s not going to be short and there’s a lot more to write and it's just like, why are there so few hours in the day? I hate that I have to work for a living. You know people who win the lottery and keep working because they want something to do? What the fuck is wrong with them. They really piss me off. I win, the first thing I do is resign, and then I never, ever have a job again. God. I would be so good at being rich.

~

Huh. Closer has written new Suits fic. But it’s gen. I’m sure it’s great and all. But it’s gen. I don’t know what to do with this information.

The day I write gen is the day you need to call a doctor on my behalf.

I am in the process of uploading all my fic to my new AO3 account. This is taking quite a long time because I am editing each story before I repost it, not a LOT or anything, I'm just trying to fix some (but not all) of the terrible writing, you know how it is. Mostly I am deleting all the unnecessary adverbs. I read this piece in the Guardian a while ago called Ten rules for writing fiction, and the one rule that stuck in my head was this, from the brilliant and hilarious Elmore Leonard:

Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said" ... he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances "full of rape and adverbs".

I USED TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME. And it really embarrasses me now; I've actually gotten to a point where I hate adverbs in general and I try not to use them at all if I can help it. I see adverbs now as a form of telling rather than showing, and I urge all writers to limit (or eliminate) their use of adverbs from here on out. Check it out:

"To hell with this," Mike said fiercely.

Just no. Don't explain to me a tone of voice that I can glean for myself through the words being spoken. Take out the 'fiercely' and see for yourself how much more elegant the sentence is, and how pointless (and ugly) the adverb was.

Btw this is also a great - and related - rule, again from Leonard:

Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue. The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But "said" is far less intrusive than "grumbled", "gasped", "cautioned", "lied". I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with "she asseverated" and had to stop reading and go to the dictionary.

It is SO TEMPTING to do this (and I still do it a lot), because you think you're using said (or says) too often, but no one notices said or says, whereas other verbs stick out like sore thumbs. Again, you are telling your reader something that should be implicit in the dialogue, that you should be showing in another way. [I give a pass for whispering and murmuring though, because they are essential in porn.]

And while we're talking about bad habits that writers should watch out for, let me reiterate some advice I've seen floating around in fandom forever. Do not call your characters "the other man" or "the younger man" or "the taller man" or "the whatever-bizarre-descriptor-you-can-think-of man". Don't do it. It is bad writing and a lot of readers who see that will hit the back button immediately and probably never attempt to read your fic again. Call your characters by their name. At all times. Even if you think you're using his name too often (and when you're dealing with two characters of the same gender pronouns become an issue so yeah, you DO have to use your characters names a lot more) you're not. No one will notice eight Harveys in a paragraph, but every single one of your more discerning readers will notice when you call him "the other man".

So hey, this is fun right? Me doling out totally unqualified/unsolicited writing advice. Let's get a discussion going. Tell me about some of your pet hates, tell me about all those bad habits you'd like to see less of in fic.

Let's help each other be better writers!

I introduced a friend of mine to fanfiction yesterday by sending her my latest porn-fest, and she loved it (quote: "it turned me on!!!") but then asked if I write on request, because she wants a het fic with lots of dirty talk, so she can improve her vocab (she's esl). Basically she wants me to help her be better in bed. HA. So anyway I'm writing back to her saying that no, I don't do bespoke fic because it's time consuming and all I want to write at the moment is Harvey/Mike, but I also want to help her out and give her what she wants.

Can any of you rec any good het fic with lots of dirty talk in it? I can't remember ever even reading anything like that but SURELY it exists. Any pairing/fandom will do as far as I'm concerned; all I ask is that it's well written and hot.

Thank you for my adorable Halloween spider, duskwillow!! <3

There is not one single solitary thing I don't love about this Justin Bieber story. Let's review:

• Mariah Yeater claims that uber-Christian Bieber plucked her out of a crowd of hopefuls to be the very lucky woman he would lose his virginity to.


• He then took her into a bathroom (awesome) and told her he wanted to "fuck the shit" out of her (hilarious).


• He refused to wear a condom because it was his first time and he wanted to "feel everything".


• It lasted thirty seconds. (This is of course what makes the story plausible)


• Yeater was thus impregnated with Bieber spawn, although clearly unimpressed with his performance overall.

IF THIS IS TRUE I WILL DIE OF HAPPINESS.

My favourite thing also about this article is that Gawker has a 'resident Bieber Expert' who says:

I think it's true. Bieber has always had a teen dad vibe. And there have always been rumors of him hooking up with fans in the Biebersphere. His parents had them when they were suuuper young.

Crazy, but true.

The expert thinks it's true! What IS a Bieber expert! How does that differ from a super fan! It's all so exciting I may pass out.

"Teen dad vibe."

LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

OHMIGOD UPDATE: http://gawker.com/5855709/justin-bieber-fans-thirst-for-the-blood-of-his-alleged-baby-mama

Two day weekends are appalling. That's not enough time to catch up on everything I need to catch up on. I can't remember the last time I watched a movie ffs.

I haven't done a recs post in a while but in case you are wondering, there is a lot of great fic coming out of Suits fandom (actually more than I have time to read! Which is frustrating to the max). Currently I am reading an absolutely gorgeous story, but I haven't finished it yet because it's long and I am slow, so I will come back and do a proper rec for it another time, and in the meantime you should get stuck into some of these gems:

First I want to rec my girl mockturtletale to you, because a) I LOVE HER and b) she writes like a freaking angel. I'm still working my way through all her stories, but a good place to start is where I did, with 'Til You Gave Out All Your Skin, because it's about an irrationally jealous Harvey who is in a constant - and hilarious - state of outrage over Mike's far-too-physically-affectionate friends. Funny, sexy and completely charming. ♥


Closer does it again, with a wildly entertaining and beautifully written AU, in which Mike is a PI who regularly does work for Harvey. He's The Go To Guy, and in this story things get a little more dangerous than usual when Harvey's latest case gets him mixed up with gangsters who want him dead. Mike, of course, must protect him at all costs. As ever, the world Closer creates is richly detailed and totally convincing: the characterisation is flawless, the dialogue gloriously witty, and the breathtaking romance is weaved seamlessly into the clever, twisty-turny plot. Just magic.



Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, by the very talented mclachlan is one of my favourite stories in the entire fandom. It is a work of genius: laugh-out-loud funny, moving and romantic and your life will not be complete until you have read it. Extract:

Nothing and no one, not even a unanimous verdict by a jury full of the most unbiased and intelligent people the state of New York has to offer, will ever convince Mike that Harvey doesn't go to Vulcan High Command when he leaves the office. There is no fancy apartment, no four-thousand inch plasma HD TV mounted on the wall, no fire pole or twisty slide or bathtub full of champagne and hookers (Mike has given it a lot of thought). No, there's a portal somewhere on the Upper East Side that takes Harvey directly to planet Vulcan where they routinely cleanse him of all emotion and give him gold stars when he reports on how he is working his new associate into an early grave, which will bear the epitaph "Live long and prosper, bitch."

The Rules of Normalcy, by faithbeckett, is a divine episode tag to "Rules of the Game". A (deliciously) broken Harvey turns to (a confused, surprised, willing) Mike for "comfort". The build-up and the sex itself is all outstandingly hot. I stumbled upon this fic via some random Harvey/Mike related google search and it totally made my day.


For a short, brutally hot, perfect PWP, look no further than this Untitled Suits fic by misspamela. Drunk Mike, awesome banter, Harvey giving head, go read it right now and then come back and thank me for sending you over there.


Knot a Problem (part of the Desk Job series), by janedavitt. I may not have read any of Jane's fic before (until now she hasn't written in any of my fandoms) but she is quite obviously a fic-writing legend and we are so lucky to have her in the fandom, even if it was only briefly. This is a short D/s fic (I figure I should always try to include at least one D/s fic in my Suits recs, because this pairing pretty much embodies that dynamic) that is just ridiculously hot as well as very, very funny.


For more recs, keep an eye on my Delicious suitsfic tag, as I regularly update it with links.

ENJOY!

I am slowly starting to engage with my uni classes, thank god. I don't quite care about any of it yet, but I actually enjoyed last night's class, and it's my hardest class, the one I was most afraid of because the little amount of reading I had done in preparation I didn't understand at all. [It's called "The Cultural Production of Space" and we're reading a lot of dense theory by French philosophers, and, as you know, French philosophers are the WORST WRITERS EVER. Most of it has gone way over my head so far and made me feel like I am way too stupid for the class, but I did actually really enjoy - and, more importantly, understand - the Gaston Bachelard Poetics of Space chapter we discussed last night, and I even contributed to the discussion without feeling like a complete dumbass fraud.]

~

The other day I ranted on Twitter about my aversion to Established Relationship fic. I avoid it like the plague. Also, if a PWP starts with the sex (without even a cursory attempt at build-up) I hit the back button faster than you can say "but the story is actually really good, Kate. Give the story a chance." If you like Established Relationship Fic (let's call it ERF) why do you like it? My prejudice tells me that there can't possibly be any romantic or sexual tension in a story where the couple are already a couple, but I don't read that shit so I'm no expert. This is one seriously ubiquitous genre I am missing out on. What's the appeal?

Title: Come Again
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Harvey/Mike
Word count: 10,026
Spoilers: None
Warnings: One commenter on the meme suggested I warn for brain damage.
Notes: More smut than you can shake a stick at. Originally posted in parts in response to this inspiring prompt, here now lies before you the finished version, complete with (brand new!) epilogue, and beta-read by the brilliant silveronthetree.
Summary: It all started with a phone call…



( Come Again, by Kate )

I'm really trying to finish this bloody kinkmeme story so I can move on to other things, but believe it or not writing porn is NOT EASY. How many ways actually ARE there to describe dudes reaming each other, know what I mean? Surely a finite number. I have a knack for smut, I know this, but if you people knew the hours I have spent slaving over this fic you would be terribly disillusioned. Anyway, I have a query that google is not helping me with:

You know how condoms come in threes or twelves or whatever and they're, like, attached to each other? Is that called a roll of condoms? A sleeve of condoms? IS THERE A WORD FOR WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY?

Help.

Source

Does that mean he's an atheist?

BE STILL MY HEART.

You'd be forgiven for thinking I took a break from fandom this week given my lack of posting, but actually, I've been having a whale of a time porning up suits_meme ! The fic I'm writing is a WIP (and is unbeta'd) so don't feel the need to rush away and read it right now, as I will post it here when it's finished, but if you do feel like following the story (which is less 'story', more 'epic amounts of smut') as it unfolds you can find it here.

~

It's becoming clear to me that I won't be able to keep up with all my TV this year if I don't want to totally fail university, so I'm going to be a lot more cautious about picking up new shows, and I'm going to *try* to be more ruthless when it comes to dropping shows that aren't doing it for me anymore.

Hung, for instance, is getting the boot. I watched the first episode of S3 and I feel pretty confident that I won't miss the show, or even feel the need to get caught up with it when I have more time. I'm sure I enjoyed last season but even so, the only character I actually care about is Tanya, and that's not good enough. Ray himself just isn't a very interesting character. I don't mind Thomas Jane as an actor (I liked him a lot in The Mist, for instance), but I don't care for him in Hung, because while I can see that he might be considered handsome by some women, his Ray is not in the least bit sexy or charming. Is it too much to ask that the one male prostitute protagonist we have on television be hot?

I'm umming and ahing about whether or not I should stick with The Vampire Diaries. On the one hand, it airs on a Thursday and if I'm in on a Friday I generally have time to watch all my comedies and TVD. On the other hand, I don't like the show any more. I can't stand how Elena's choices revolve around her love for Stefan - an unrepentant serial killer - rather than what's right, and that we, the audience, are expected to find that romantic. Plus, other stuff. Go read latxcvi's Stefan post, or any of penumbra's TVD posts if you're interested in finding out more about why I feel the way I do.

So, nice to see Kal Penn again but what do we think of his role in HIMYM? I'm not as horrified about it as others seem to be, but at the same time I wish they'd thought of a better way to bring him into the show.

I'm curious about how much I have in common with you guys these days (and who of you are still paying attention to me) so how about a poll:

[NB. I tried Pan Am and found it boring; I have not tried Homeland yet but plan to)

Poll #1784911
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 75

Which TV shows do we have in common?

What am I not watching that you think I should be?

Do you have any interest in the show/fandom Suits?

What kind of fan are you?

Which fandoms are you active in?

And now I'm leaving weird prompts on suits_meme. Yesterday I asked for non-con. Who am I and what have I done with me?

Does anyone have advice on how I can get my head out of fandom and back into the books? Classes started this week and I really need to focus on that, but all I want to read at the moment is fanfic. Luckily my fandom is small so there isn't much to read, but I'll reread things if I have to.

---

Speaking of, here are a few recs:

Midwinter, by anon

I read this today and holy crap what a story. It's my favourite kind of PWP: clever, funny, in character, and scorchingly, mind-meltingly hot, with a perfectly paced build up to an inventive sex scene that both delivers and leaves you wanting more. Great stuff.

Or Down You Fall, by sam_storyteller

The boys get high together. Not only that, it's plausible, intense, sexy and romantic. And of course, stoned Harvey just has to be experienced:

It's one of the most bizarre sights Mike's ever seen: Harvey, practically poured into the sofa, slouched and relaxed with his cufflinks out and his sleeves rolled up, collar undone, dividing his attention between Mike and the television screen.

That image apparently based on this:

( Cut for sexy )


Lit Up, by phreakycat

This is a beautiful and evocative story with a very cool, unusual premise: Mike has synesthesia ("a neurological condition in which one's senses are unusually linked") and one of the condition's side effects is occasional epileptic seizures. The author seamlessly weaves Mike's condition into the show's canon, and the H/c portion of the story is some of the best I've ever read.

Imprimatur, by Closer

Summary: Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.

I can't even express how much I loved this story. Stunningly well written and so romantic and moving it will make your heart ache with longing.

---

TUMBLR RULES. I can't believe it took me so long to realise this cold hard fact. All I do is reblog cool things and there are so many cool things. Check out some of the cool things:

http://msninjafan.tumblr.com/

I haven't posted anything original yet - for now I'm more comfortable here - but you don't need to! Your blog can be made up entirely of other people's cool things. My favourite post so far, because it made me cry with laughter the first time and it still makes me laugh every single time I look at it, is here:

http://firstandamistad.tumblr.com/post/10774477580

I know all I ever talk about is Suits these days and for that I apologise, because I know the majority of you couldn't give a crap about any of it, but it is what it is. Scroll on by if you must. (N.B. I will respond to the comments on my last post probably tomorrow - today I am too hungover to think clearly enough, because yesterday I was released from jury service and my fellow jurors and I spent the entire afternoon and evening boozing. Good times!)

Anyway, this post is very important because it concerns Harvey Specter's bedroom. In my head I felt that I knew what his bedroom looked like because we see it in episode 7 - "Play the Man" - but, turns out, he has two bedrooms! Because we ALSO see his bedroom in the pilot, and I think you will find when you inspect the screenshots behind the cut that they are in no way similar.

( Two bedrooms! )


What the hell! The E7 bedroom is fine, don't get me wrong, but the pilot bedroom is clearly better. Why would they change it! Or shall we just assume that he has a number of different bedrooms, all of which he uses? Perhaps it depends on the woman he's banging. The Pilot bedroom is for waitresses and the E7 bedroom is for lawyers, and he has another one for hot young associates.

I love being on jury service. On television everyone's always trying to get out of it, but I'm finding it very interesting and rewarding, and occasionally fun. It probably helps that I'm in love with our judge, and that the hours are 10-4.

You know this widespread trend in fandom of hating romantic storylines? I made a post about the love triangle in Suits a while ago and it's gotten a few comments from some randoms about how much they hate Rachel and how the last thing they want to see is any romance on the show. An anon tells it like it is:

"The whole love-triange thing annoys me to no end, partly because I don't understand what he should see in Rachel, partly because it takes up so much screentime. I don't watch the show because I'm interested in Mike's love life, I want to see Harvey mentoring him."

Hmm.

If you are the type to hate romantic plots in TV shows, is it because you find romance boring in fiction no matter what? Or is it because you ship two of the male characters and any kind of canonical romance involving a woman interferes with that?

I see a lot of people bitching about romance, declaring love interest characters inherently deficient (although that same criticism is not generally levelled at male love interests from what I've observed), or accusations that romance will get in the way of what the show is about. But if Suits is a show about lawyers, and lawyers are human beings, capable of falling in love and being attracted to people, then how would a storyline about one of those lawyers falling in love take away from that? Why is a character falling in love considered an invalid storyline by so many, when it's something - complicated and life-altering - that happens to people in reality all the time?

For many of us romance enriches the main drama because it humanises the characters; it makes them more than just their job. I can't speak for any one individual in fandom who happens to be in the anti-romance brigade, but I strongly suspect most of the fangirls bitching about romance plots are not exclusively interested in, say, gen fic. Not to have a go or anything - you like what you like, you hate what you hate - but one thing I'd love to see less of is this ridiculous insistence that romantic storylines are somehow inferior to all others, that romance ruins shows, that romance is somehow boring objectively speaking as opposed to just not your cup of tea because, maybe, you struggle to slash the dudes when there's a woman getting in the way.

I prefer to think of actors as being too dumb to understand the internet but sometimes evidence to the contrary can't be ignored. Patrick J. Adams, for instance, has a Tumblr, he appears to keep a close eye on Suits fandom, and he is clearly not an idiot. Which is why the thread linked to below caused me to wake up in the middle of the night feeling dirty, because there are two comments in it that were made either by a talented troll, or by Patrick himself:

http://suitsmeme.livejournal.com/1310.html?thread=365854#t365854

And because we'll never know the truth, and because one or both of those comments COULD be him, and because I can believe that he enjoys checking out the mental shit fans get up to (I would were I an actor), I can't help assuming that it is, in fact, him. Obviously this is totally unacceptable.

That being said, hi Patrick, welcome to my livejournal.

~

I found this season of Damages a bit of a slog to get through. I wasn't exactly bored, but I wasn't exactly entertained either, and I'm not feeling particularly enthused about next season. So what I think I'll do is not watch it week to week, but wait until it's all over and done with and when I've got a weekend free I'll mainline the whole lot in one go (which, let's face it, is usually the best way to watch television). The cliffhanger - if you can call it that - was so ridiculous I'm not even going to dignify it with any commentary, except to say that I suppose it will generate a storyline marginally more interesting than whatever new convoluted court case they come up with for the final season. I feel like this show needs more sex. (I should probably put that on an icon.)

~

Breaking Bad is blowing my mind, yet again. I'm not saying S4 is better than S3 - I'm not sure that would even be possible - but it just keeps on delivering, week in, week out, every episode a masterclass in suspenseful storytelling.

~

HIMYM was quite good this week! (for once)

So you know how I'm getting back into reading and writing fic and being all fangirly and whatnot? I went out with Hilary last night and we talked a bit about that, and then we talked a LOT about D/s (because I sent her Good Boy to read the other day) and I was all, "yeah D/s isn't my kink but maybe it is," and she goes to me: "Uhhhh, what are you talking about? Your favourite movie is Secretary. D/s has been your kink for all of time." Me: "Huh." Her: "You are a forgetful freak." True story.


Suits people: what is the episode where Harvey visits Mike at his house? This GIF is really doing it for me but I can't remember when it happened.

I'm enjoying Tumblr but I suspect it's going to become a massive time suck.


I thought Fringe was average but it was good to see Olivia again. ( Read more... )



( The Menatlist, 401 )

Remember how I used to hate Pretty Little Liars but watched it anyway? I love it now but back at the beginning it filled me with rage, mostly because of the horrendous Ezra/Aria storyline that just - I mean really, she was fifteen at the time and HE WAS HER FREAKING TEACHER and the show presented their relationship as though it were deeply romantic as opposed to gross and abusive (which might have been hotter?) and god I'm annoyed again just thinking about it, but whatever, it's Friday, I'm in a good mood, and all I want to do right now is point out the following sentence I wrote at the time:

[T]o the show's credit, in episode 5 I think it was, the douchebag teacher's much more attractive friend was all "Hey dummy! Are you fucking crazy? If you keep this up you're going to prison." Finally someone talking sense!

Guess who that much more attractive friend was?

PATRICK J. ADAMS AKA MIKE ON SUITS.

What a small world. That job is also where he met his girlfriend, the awesomely named Troian Bellisario, who plays my favourite liar, Spencer, and loooook because they are seriously the world's prettiest, most adorable couple:

( click! )

Title: Nurse Fernandez
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Mike/Harvey
Word count: 5,185
Spoilers: None
Notes: Many thanks go to my lovely and clever beta, silveronthetree without whom this story would not make much sense.
Summary: A fill for this prompt from suitsmeme: ‘Mike gets hit by a car. By Harvey’s car. While Harvey is driving it.’ Yeah, that happens and then it just descends into porn. Natch.



( Nurse Fernandez, by Kate )

After making the decision to not watch The X Factor this year -- because what is the show without Simon? -- I am totally into it, and guess why: GARY BARLOW. He is waaaaay better than Simon in every way. I am so over Simon Cowell and his scary botoxed face. As it turns out my original Shouldn't But Would - ol' Gazza from Take That - is, like, totally, legitimately hot now. He has designer stubble that makes all the girls gaga. My friends love him, I love him, he's the best judge ever, and The X Factor is more entertaining with him and his girlfriend Kelly Rowland as judges than it's ever been before (he's married actually and I hope and assume faithful to his wife, but Gary/Kelly should be the new best RPF pairing in town, because in fiction cheating is awesome, and the two of them clearly want to bang each other).

So I have some Suits recs for you lucky people. Hilariously I took a half day today just so I could come home and read porn, and I've been working my way through maja_li's Harvey/Mike stories, because she is an extraordinary writer who has been quite prolific in this little new fandom of mine [THANK YOU BB. I'd envy your talent if I wasn't so grateful for your existence]. Anyway you should read her stories, but in particular -- and I say this to ALL of you not just to fans of the show - you should read the following story immediately.


Good Boy, by maja_li

It's a D/s fic and I didn't even know I was into D/s but holy crap, it turns out -- totally am. Dom Harvey is unspeakably sexy, and while I know virtually nothing about how D/s works in reality this story feels very authentic to me, and it's damn effective for that reason. I'm hard to please when it comes to porn, but the sex is really hot, evocative and moving. Zandra understands how to make (super kinky) sex both erotic and romantic without once resorting to sentimentality. I seriously adore this fic.

Same theme, much shorter:

Inadmissable

I read this wee D/s ficlet in the meme before I read "Good Boy" and boy did it get to me. It's only two comment boxes long and the first comment box is laugh out loud funny, the second very intense and erotic (despite containing no actual sex). To be honest I didn't understand what was happening the first time I read it but it had a powerful effect on me anyway, and so I read it again, got it, and was even MORE entranced. Not sure what that says about me.


It's Just
Just That
Five Years by stratospherique

This is a great series in which the author creates a convincing relationship between Harvey and Mike that is characterised by repressed feelings, douchetastic behaviour, and (mostly) unresolved sexual tension. It's very well written, very entertaining, and very sexy.


in vino fuckitas by _mournthewicked

Drunk Mike. Horny lawyers. Porn. :D


Madison Avenue, by anon

This story is SOOOOO AWESOME. Harvey's one of New York's Most Eligible Singles in New York Talk. Shenanigans ensue. It's funny, porny, bantery brilliance from start to finish.


Enjoy!!

I'm having one of those horrendous days where work is making me cry and I want to punch every one of these ungrateful motherfuckers in the face.

Fortunately I have fandom, and fandom has been good to me lately. The timing isn't great, as I have SO MUCH to read for school, which starts again in a few weeks, but what can I do? I'm madly in love and I don't care who knows it.

-- I am now following all the Suits actors I could find on Twitter like a crazy person.

-- I have joined Tumblr but don't understand it at all yet. So follow me if you love me but don't expect me to, you know, use it at any point soon. I am here: http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/msninjafan

-- I have successfully pimped Suits to two whole fangirls named silveronthetree and glammetalkitten. PLEASE JOIN US.

-- I have a pretty new Suits mood theme (farewell Veronica and Logan - I still love you but you are totally old news)

-- I have amaaaaazing recs for you that I will post some time this week, and - #shock#

-- I have written Actual Fic, currently with my beta but which will be posted VRY SOON. EEE! I am sure I'm way more excited about posting fic in a new fandom than any of you are about me posting fic in a new fandom.



In other television news:

I have decided I will not be watching this season of Sons of Anarchy. I thought the first episode of the season was awful, as in, I thought it was both unpleasant and badly written shite, and honestly, that Jax is fine with murdering a bunch of people in cold blood but won't "live off a woman" is totally fucking sickening to me, so I'm done with this bullshit show full of reprehensible creeps and I'm not going to miss it. I'm just sad that Rockmond Dunbar turned up as I'm leaving the show behind, because he is one of my favourite actors from Prison Break; unfortunately his much better show about men with too much testosterone, Terriers, was cancelled after one short season. So it's good that he has work on a more successful show, not good that it's on a more successful show that I've grown to hate.

Let's just not talk about The Vampire Diaries and how much Stefan should do the world a favour and kill himself.

I am officially a Suits fangirl. I'm reading fic for the first time in, like, years, I'm friending authors of good Harvey/Mike porn just so I don't miss updates, I'm compiling a list of recs ffs, I re-watched the pilot to remind myself what happened (I never rewatch things! I don't have time!), I pretty much plan to rewatch the entire first season even though I don't have time, and I want to replace all my icons with Suits icons but I won't because that would be mental. Harvey has eaten my pants. Mike makes me giddy with love and affection. All the other characters are brilliant, and I even like Rachel (although I don't ship her with Mike one bit; Mike/Jenny are my canon ship).

And now I'm considering joining Tumblr just because of this:

http://fuckyeahharveyandmike.tumblr.com

It's like it was designed just to please me. How does Tumblr work?

They are so cute and funny and hot. Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNU7GpKAFvc&NR=1

Hahaha.

Why isn't all of fandom into this show yet? Is it because of the stupid premise? (Which I unironically, unreservedly love btw. Realism is for fans of the news.)

~

I also caught up on Awkward and I really like it, you should totally check it out.

True Blood is the worst. The absolute worst. I don't know why I watch it but I will continue to for as long as it's on air.

Farewell Entourage, you empty-headed, unromantic wank fest. I liked you while you existed and I will forget all about you forever by tomorrow. Please don't make a movie.

In conclusion:

I just sat opposite Cillian Murphy all the way home on the tube. I spent the entire ride stealing glances at him and trying not to giggle. He was listening to his ipod, he was wearing a wedding ring, and he got off at my stop (although I didn't see if he left the station or changed trains because I was trying not to be too much of a stalky doofus). He has very blue eyes, is very striking, but also strangely normal looking.

Horrible, horrible morning. My email account was hacked and everyone in my contacts was sent an email saying I'm stranded in Athens please send money. Which is bad enough (every ex boyfriend, every ex friend, everyone I've ever emailed would have received it - if you're one of them, please ignore) but then I change my password, get access back, and ALL of my emails and contacts have gone. Years worth of correspondence. Ewan helped me recover some of my contacts and I've reported the incident to gmail so hopefully they will be able to restore the mail, but argh, I cried rather helplessly for quite a long time, but I'm okay now except for sore eyes.

~

This has come as a bit of a surprise to me, as I didn't think I had it in me to get into another slash pairing, but I'm feeling rather fannish about Suits. I blame svilleficrecs entirely (she knows why). But also, gosh, they are gorgeous. I love Harvey. I love Mike too, almost as much as Harvey but not quite, because Harvey is outrageously sexy, probably because he's arrogant and I have a weakness for arrogant men (in real life as well as in fiction, unfortunately); but I do love Mike, and I love their scenes together; I've always enjoyed a good mentor/protégé pairing and there's enough eye fucking and genuine respect bordering on affection between them that it's not such a stretch for me to believe that they would make good sex. Mike has this awesome habit of glancing down at Harvey's mouth during every single one of their conversations. It's amazing, as one of the gifs in my Harvey/Mike picspam below will prove. I really love google images. I nabbed all of these from page 1 (and that's all the credit I'm giving! I'm not made of time):


( Click for sexytimes )

~

So I wrote fic yesterday haaaa. Pornographic fic no less! I'm not sure I'll ever finish it of course, because I have a bad habit of not finishing fic these days, but it's there, waiting to be finished, so you never know.

WATCH SUITS.

There was a question mark over whether I would stick with this show during the early episodes, but that question has been well and truly answered: Yes. I genuinely look forward to each new episode and it never fails to entertain me. The leads are wonderfully appealing - I'm particularly attracted to Harvey - the dialogue is witty, and the stories are satisfying enough.

( Suits, 1.10: Shelf Life )

Watching The X Factor sober is not something I would recommend.

The other night I socialised without drinking and had a really good time. Admittedly Sami and I spent much of the night talking about drinking (because he is also a lush who dries up on occasion, so he can relate to what I'm going through) but we figured next time we hang out without alcohol we will not need to have that conversation again. Anyway, the point is, we had fun! We went to the Press Photographer's Year exhibition at the National Theatre which was both free and awesome, then we wandered around London, stopping at various establishments to drink coffee, or eat delicious pizza and cake, and then towards the end of the evening we ended up in a pub because we both needed to waz (due to all the coffee and water we'd been drinking) and Sami had one glass of red wine just to wind me up. I nearly caved at one point because I love drinking with Sami, but I didn't, and I wasn't even tempted in that final pub because it didn't look like the kind of place that would serve decent wine and my first glass back has to be delicious.

I have decided that I am going to drink next Tuesday because Sami's band is playing and I'm definitely going to see him and meet his sister and some of his friends and it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. But that will get me to 22 days booze-free, and then, actually, I think I will go back to not drinking until my birthday because I'm really enjoying not being hungover all the time.

It turns out that Mark Lamarr was openly obsessed with Faye Tozer, but I do kind of get it now. I watched both of the Faye episodes of NMTB and she is very appealing. Still, watching Mark fawn over her (even though she was clearly uninterested) is disturbing more than funny, although (in a different episode) his exchange with Lisa Scott-Lee (also from Steps) amused me:

Lisa: "Stop asking me to ask her out for you! She told me to tell you she was a lesbian!"
Mark: "Well...tell her I'm a lesbian too." (Aside Glance) "Nothing stops me!"

I really adore Simon Amstell. He's maybe the most hilarious person of all time.

It's been a while since I've picspammed the cat, but luckily for you my flatmate Kirsty took some great photos recently (which she described as a "study"):

( Click for cute )

Look, I'm really angry about this Dirty Dancing remake bullshit. The film was on TV last night and it is perfect. PERFECT. You cannot improve on perfection, and to even try is an insult to the whole world. There is no way they will find an actor/dancer as amazing as Patrick Swayzee, or a heroine as adorable as Jennifer Grey, it can't possibly be sexier, or with better dancing, the soundtrack cannot be bettered, and I *highly doubt* they are going to improve on the wonderful, cheesy dialogue. The original is TIMELESS. It may have been made in the (late) eighties but it is set in the sixties, and the new film would have to STILL be set in the sixties, when dancing dirty-style was actually scandalous, so what is the point doing a new version? THERE IS NO POINT. Teenage girls today can watch the original and fall in love with it just as we did when we were teenage girls. And if kids today refuse to watch anything made before they were born, that is THEIR PROBLEM. They can suffer through shitty films like Honey and Save the Last Dance, and the grownups can bask in the glory that is the REAL Dirty Dancing. I mean really, who will they cast? WHO COULD THEY POSSIBLY CAST THAT WON'T SUCK? Worst idea ever. Leave the classics alone, Hollywood, you cynical fucks.

Ha! My obsessive stalking of Mark Lamarr has finally paid off. He is on BBC Radio 6 (Kirsty's favourite radio station, soon to be my favourite) this Wednesday and Thursday with "The Buzzcocks Story". Sweet. I know nothing about The Buzzcocks but if anyone can teach me to like a band I'm sure Mark can. I plan to listen to both shows live even though they are on at midnight, and if they are good I will let you know, even though none of you care.

There are many reasons to love him - his 17 series reign as the host of Never Mind the Buzzcocks notwithstanding - but particularly impressive is the following clip from early 1990s Variety Show The Word, wherein Mark single-handedly destroys the career of revolting, homophobic dancehall artist Shabba Ranks, by angrily calling him out on his belief that gay men "deserve crucifixion":

http://thewordukcom.blogspot.com/2011/01/shabba-ranks-says-gays-should-be.html

I was so pleased to finally track down that clip as it's been removed from youtube by C4. He is so awesome. I guess soon I will have to stop watching NMTB all the time and catch up on other television that I used to be interested in. But not yet.

Fyi, if you don't choose Mark I may never forgive you.

( Some pictures to help you decide )

Poll #1767014
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15

If you've never heard of either of them you know what to do.

To be fair I watched NMTB back in the late nineties when I lived in Edinburgh and then I stopped watching it and so really have very little experience with Simon as Host. But then the other day I did watch the episode with Josh Groban because I read somewhere that JG was an awesome guest (he really was extremely and unexpectedly funny and charming), and I did, in fact, like Simon quite a bit. JUST NOT AS MUCH AS MARK.

Now I'm ready to talk about True Blood again!

( True Blood, 4.06: I Wish I Was the Moon )

I wrote a post last week explaining my feelings about the current state of True Blood but that got lost and now I can't remember what I was going on about. Not that it matters now, as I haven't seen the latest episode so it's out of date anyway. I also mentioned how sad I was about Amy Winehouse. Sharan and I went to see the shrine outside her house on Wednesday, which I found very moving.

~

I made the best chicken curry in the entire world last night. Ask my flatmate if you don't believe me. All you need to do is follow this recipe:

West Indian Curried Chicken Roti

It is easy, but it's also time consuming and quite hard work - particularly the rolling of the roti bread - but totally worth it. I've tried making curries many times and always been disappointed with the results, as they've come out rather thin in flavour, but this one turned out better than any I've had at a restaurant. The key, I'm guessing, is lots of spices and making your own curry powder from scratch, and then, of course, cooking the chicken on the bone, because chicken fat is super flavoursome.

~

I don't know why but I've been thinking about Mark Lamarr recently. On Saturday night I sat in bed and watched old clips from Never Mind The Buzzcocks and I was reminded how very attractive I used to find him (and still do). He was so sharp and angry and funny (and lovely looking), and I just can't understand why he isn't on television anymore. He doesn't even have a radio show now, having left the Beeb in December last year, so there's no way for me to get a fresh fix. I wonder how he earns money these days? I wonder if he's single.

~

I'm having a dinner party on Friday and I'm stressed about it. I'd cook the curry previously mentioned if the food didn't have to be pesce/vegetarian, and I haven't come up with an alternative I'm happy with. Drat! It also has to be nut free (Sharan is fatally allergic), mushroom free (I hate them), light on onions and garlic (Hilary is sensitive), and it can't be too pricey, or too complicated (although it can be time consuming, as I have the day off work to prep). Suggestions welcome!

Thank you lovely elsmoka for the chocolate userhead!


( The Good Wife, seasons 1 and 2 )

~

I'm quite enjoying Suits, mostly because the two leads are great, although I don't know how long I'll stick with it. I guess until I'm bored, which I'm not yet, but at the same time I can see that it's probably not going anywhere particularly interesting.


Covert Affairs is pleasing me quite a bit this season, but I have one complaint: the colour of Joan's hair. Yech. I find it ugly and she should go darker, perhaps the colour of Annie's hair, and then Annie should become a brunette. /deep thoughts


Game of Thrones won me over in the end. That show does great cliffhangers. I have been terribly irritated by all the complaining I've seen about all the supposedly gratuitous sex/nudity, given that it's one of the most gory and violent shows I've ever seen. I don't understand how people can be offended by tits, ass and, yes, penises (woot!), whereas the graphic slaughter of innocent horses is like, fine and dandy.


Wilfred is quite funny and I love Elijah Wood, but I'm getting a wee bit tired of the premise already. I think I'll watch out the season and re-evaluate.


Louie is one of the best shows on television. Side-splittingly funny, brutally, wonderfully honest, completely original. CK is my hero. It is absolutely unacceptable that it didn't get an emmy nom for best comedy (Glee? Really Academy? Jesus Christ.) but at least my beloved Parks and Recreation did this year, and it should win.


I've also been thoroughly enjoying Pretty Little Liars (so many awesome girls and women!), Weeds (I don't care what anyone says, I love all the Botwins, Nancy included), and Treme (funnily enough the New York scenes in S2 were my favourite, because I love Janette and Delmond best).


And finally, films I have thoroughly enjoyed recently: Bad Teacher, Bridesmaids and The Lincoln Lawyer. Who would have thought I would ever like a Matthew McConaughey picture? But turns out: he can actually act! And while Bridemaids made me laugh a bit more than Bad Teacher, Cameron Diaz's shamelessly disreputable heroine is a far more groundbreaking and interesting character than any of the women in Bridesmaids, and I've never loved Diaz more.

Every guy I meet that I fancy these days is younger than me, sometimes a LOT younger. There's this dude at work who I met yesterday and who I find wildly attractive (even though we clearly have nothing in common and he sounds and looks like he should star in Made in Chelsea); I ran into him this morning and there was chemistry, but like. He's maybe in his mid twenties? Soon I will be forced to self-identify as a cougar. :|

~

Frank Ocean is awesome. Really go listen to "Swim Good", the stand out song from his pretty damn good debut album:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaS-S4Brx7o

~

( Luther, Series 1 )

MOVIE NEWS

Of course I'm anti-censorship but I find it highly amusing that The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) has been banned in the UK for being "unacceptable".

~

I've seen lots of films over the last week:

X Men First Class ***

Not a particularly good film but by far my favourite of the franchise (that I've seen. I think I saw the first two?) because James McAvoy is the most delicious. I love Stephanie Zacharek's observation that his "lips always manage to look just-bitten". Hilary and I found it hilariously gay - I whispered to her halfway through that I kept expecting them to kiss and she was all, "That would be awesome" - but mostly I just love McAvoy. (Fassbender is great too but the only time I've ever been attracted to him was in Fish Tank - which, if you loved him in X Men, you should go watch IMMEDIATELY).

It's Complicated ***

I enjoyed this because of Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep, and definitely not because of the subject matter, or Steve Martin.

Letters to Juliet ****

I won't front, I loved this a lot. Amanda Seyfried is adorable, Vanessa Redgrave is astounding, and the story is absurdly romantic. I cried, like, a bunch of times.

The Adjustment Bureau ****

Crazy and romantic and very entertaining indeed.

Limitless ***

Pure masturbation. But I wasn't bored for a second. I think my favourite thing about the film, though, was reading Andrew O'Hehir's assessment of Bradley Cooper:

There's a further problem with this movie's attempt to turn Bradley Cooper into a movie star, which I'll try to put delicately: He kind of looks like a dick.

Ondine ****

Absolutely gorgeous. Enjoyed this way more than I thought I would.

Daydream Nation ****

A smart indie film about teenagers having sex and taking drugs? I'M SO THERE. Also Kat Dennings is sexy as fuck. Mostly, though, this film made up for all the horrible teacher/student romance plots I've had to endure over the past year, all thanks to a gloriously shameless (and very funny) performance by Josh Lucas as the teacher. I won't tell you any more than that, but I will say it was an extremely gratifying story for me in almost every way.


TELEVISION: NURSE JACKIE AND UNITED STATES OF TARA

If I watch a show and Alan Sepinwall reviews it, I read his reviews straight after watching an episode. He's an excellent critic, but like with any writer you read regularly, disagreements happen, and regularly. For instance, there's this thing he's been harping on about over the past year: that Nurse Jackie sucks because it doesn't progress or change at all, particularly not compared with United States of Tara, which has taken way more risks with its storytelling, and therefore it is infuriating that USoT got cancelled while NJ got renewed.

But like... NJ is a really good show in its own right so why be annoyed that it got renewed? Be sad that USoT got cancelled, sure, but don't be a dick about a perfectly good show not getting cancelled. Know what I mean? Don't be a dick.

( Nurse Jackie, 3.10: Fuck the Lemur )

( United States of Tara, 3.10: Train Wreck )